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Sometimes you need a place to tell your stories. Or whisper a secret. Or complain. Or make an announcement. Or tell a joke. Or maybe just let your friends know what you are doing at the moment. This is my place.

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Age: 26
Birthday: 22 July
Horoscope: Cancer
E-mail: cleverkiwibird@hotmail.com

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Sunday, December 11, 2005

On a beautiful Sunday morning with nothing else to do, allow me to explain a few observations and unsolved mysteries of life.

THE EXTRA ARM SYNDROME
This occurs when you try to sleep and you find that you seem to have an extra arm which does not fit anywhere. It causes you to turn around and try another sleeping position but then again, everything is just not comfortable. Some people say it can be solved by putting the arm above you head, or under a pillow. However those are just temporary measures, because you would move during the night and it would be a bother to take it out from under the pillow.

THE SCARY SOUND EFFECT
This happens remarkable often in the middle of the night. It does not really matter what you were doing previously but suddenly strange creaks and sounds will be heard from around you. They surround you and put you in siege and they will never ever let you go. Your brain will start to remember all the scary movies you have ever seen and try to recall which type of zombie/murderer/monster would be capable of making the noise that you heard. One common solution is to have a friend with you at all times, or a mother but then again, that would be a waste of human productivity so a preferred form of protection would be a silver dagger, some garlic, a gun, a mobile phone to call the police and of course, chocolate.

THE DEJA VU EFFECT
Ever notice that some things happen again and again ? Well sometimes, it happens that the things you do you have to repeat it a few times. But when it comes to a point when you are only able to make something work when you do it a certain way then you have a problem. For example if you are playing a game like foosball, or whatever else that you play, always using the same tactics and the same men to shoot may allow you to goal occasionally, but after a while, weirdly they do not succeed any more. One solution is to change a game or just pretend you are not good at it any more.

THE EGGS AND SALMON MYSTERY
Why why why do eggs and salmon taste great together no matter what you do to them ? WHY ?

THE 'LOST' PHENOMENON
One of the major geographical problems that we encounter this century is the problem of getting lost. I find it very alarming the fact that it is so hard to find a certain place or look for a certain person who stays at a certain place. If only everything was in numbers it would be much easier. For example if the whole country was in a grid system, then you could just tell your friends that you lived at 35,24 and they could just tell a transporter to bring them there !! No more worries about getting lost.

THE SNOW WONDER
Snow is fun. And wonderful. And magical.

THE PEEING QUESTION
Why do males have to pee standing up ? Because they can just as well sit down and go right ? I have always maintained that it was brought about because some guy invented the urinal and wanted to make a lot of money from it and therefore made a rule that guys must pee standing up.

THE QUIET TV MYSTERY
Do things really come out from the TV when no one else is around ? This is a big mystery because if you can see things in the TV, can they see you ? Will they not feel imprisoned within the glass panels and feel like coming out ? Either way, it is therefore not advisable to watch tv by yourself. Just in case.

These are just some of the things that I am pondering on right now. If you have anything to say, say it to someone else. I am meditating.

Cleverkiwibird Another story was told at 8:06 AM

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Stories by KWBear. Hope you enjoyed your time here.