It is said that only people who are petty, or selfish or pessimistic would envy other people. Maybe it is true. As you all know, I have been waiting for weeks so that I would get a buddy in the GA programme. Well, what do you know, a month after the deadline, someone has come in. Now I should be glad that I will not be all alone for the 2 year programme. That I have someone that I can share experiences with and rotate around departments with. But then again, maybe not. I have been told that there are going to be potentially 5 of us and I would still be the youngest. In a way, that is a consolation. It helps me to stand out and be different. Because this new guy, MrYheng, is not only 6 foot 1, he is built, fair, and has a face that could be mistaken for a big cute white rabbit. Not only that, I consoled myself yesterday by thinking he was a bit blur, waltzing into the office to do some paperwork in bermudas, and not knowing the way around the city. Imagine my shock and shame, when a 20 minute talk with him, left me knowing that he was completely out of my league. He is extremely mature, knows more about banking stuff than I do, has 1 year's worth of working experience, knows what he wants, willing to move around to get it and is also very intelligent. He mixes around very well and is already on close terms to the people in Global Markets which apparently is THE place to be.... for shooting stars and high fliers..What is worse, is that he studied engineering...not anything to do with commerce...I want to sink into a hole ! Sometimes life can be so unfair. I am now REDUCED to telling myself, that maybe he cannot sing..

But maybe this is my inspiration. To do the best that I can do, instead of comparing myself. As SailorCyit did say, it is not really a competition. However, I believe one is very naive to think that working is not a competition. It is. Really. You never know that you have lost out on a promotion just because someone was more vociferous in voicing out their opinions or achievements. You never know if you lost a chance to go overseas because the right people did not know about your needs, wants and dreams. You just never know. And tonight, watching the GM people having some fun upstairs at Carnegies, I knew I would not be able to connect closely with them.

Maybe it is the fact that I feel that some of their activities are downright childish, offensive and crude. But maybe I am just a snob, and everyone knows a snob has got to earn the right. Where I am now, I am a junior, I have no experience, no knowledge and no achievement. I have NO right to be arrogant and think that these activities are beneath me. But they are. But I have to be the first to claim that I am not a snob. Well maybe sometimes.

The lesson that I have learnt today is to NEVER EVER judge a book by its cover. That nice furry rabbit turned out to be a potential ruthless wolf in white skin. I hope we get on better in the future than tonight. Though I doubt it.

But someone who gives advice must know how to follow it as well. I told someone that they were special and they just needed to find their own path. I should be aware of that. I have told many people that, and I still have my own personal experiences where self confidence really makes a difference. I also told someone that people judge you by YOUR achievements. I guess that is true as well. I need to be more optimistic, and think about ways to improve myself instead of just envying people for their talent, looks, luck, capability and ability.

Sometimes I wish people envied me for something. Lol.

More gym. More focus on my work. More studying.

I think I really need a break. It has been almost 5 months.

Hurry up and come home, KeeBear and DanBear !

And meanwhile congrats to XXBear and RoxBear for starting work this week !!! Yippee !!

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Quick countdown 0n what has happened.

The story so far.............

Lightning flashed and thunder rolled, it touched my house, and the phone line and modem busted. No internet. Was torture but finally got some studying done. Monday. Argh, work like hell, no internet, torture ! Good thing went to bed early, 11pm and was really fresh today, which is today. Found internet working. Huray !

Boring ? Maybe, but because I have not enough time at the moment, everything is like rush rush rush rush !! Deadline, Deadline Deadline.....not enough time at all, will update later.

But am seriously busy..

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I have no time. Absolutely none. In fact whenever I think I have a little time, it slips by and I am left with none again. After the first two extremely busy days, on Wednesday I helped out at a function which appeared on the news, except that I was not shown at all. Forget it. I guess I am not as important as the CEO. I did get free food, and exposure again though. However, if you though I had less work since half the day was gone, you were sooooo wrong. I had just as much work and in fact, more to cram in, and went back late again. SharBear left me hanging on dinner that night. Dad coming back or something.

Ug. Thursday was no better except it was closer to the weekend. Was about to go for bowling when MrGiew got me something to do work again. AGAIN at 5.30. Why is it that bosses know just exactly when NOT to give you work and they give it to you then ? He told me he wants it done by tomorrow. And then insists that I go down to Carnegie's next door with the team and have drinks. Well, when am I supposed to do the work then ? After the drinks ?!?!? So since I was there, and he was paying, none of this cheap beer for me. I had two orders of my favourite drink - Malibu Pineapple, and enjoyed my free cocktails. Then it started raining extremely heavily, it felt that the bucket of Heaven was kicked over. Then I found out SharBear could not make it for dinner since her cousin was coming back or something. So stayed back and work.

Friday I came in early to finish off the project. And damned if it was not Pink Day. Basically everyone on the floor had to wear pink, in support of breast cancer. Was almost able to go karaoke at lunchtime, when it looked like rain and had to settle for a walk around Sungeiwang, where I bought nothing except hairspray. I did want to buy this Milo T-shirt...but I could not find the shop and gave up. Work work and then it was credit training. Quite a salvation. Although boring, it also gave me something to do other than work, and I find it extremely weird that MrWhan stays with his parents, is married and I am VERY curious to find out if he has children. This MrWhan is seriously WEIRD. But funny weird. And he has good ideas as well.
And that is about it. SharBear could not go for dinner because she was going to a funeral.

Saturday morning finds me getting ready to go to the Sports Club's bowling tournament. I rolled 4 games of 111,118,168 and 108. Hmph. Not really anything to shout about. But I guess I could roll 4 games without rest now on the 14 pound ball. Which is an improvement. But I am still upset that the balls are all the same size regardless of weight. Hmph. Unfair. Having Sakae Sushi tonight is the plan. Hope it is not too full. It is quite small. Have to leave soon.

I need time to do things that I want to do. March crawled by like a snail. April zipped past like a hare. And May is just going weirdly. Sometimes it seems fast and sometimes it seems slow. And I doubt if SharBear will have time for dinner next week. After all, every day I come home and am asleep quite soon afterwards and in fact this is the first week that I have fallen asleep at the wheel for a long time, not since March. June come quick !!!

So I have found out that work has some really important words. Repeat after me. Work, Boss, Deadline, Work, Overtime, Boss, Work, Salary, Holiday, Colleague, Drinks, Work, Boss, Deadline, Work and Overtime. Gah !!~~

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Another disgusting day. MrPhan and MrGiew came up and told me they needed me. I see. This was 5.46. So it was ONE minute after time out ! Alright, I am very nice, I said sure why not ? Although it was supposed to be the day when SailorSS and I went to practice bowling and when that was cancelled, I meant to have dinner with RyanBear. Since that fell through in the end as well, I must have been fated to stay back really late tonight. And I did. The worst thing was, this project could have been skipped if only everyone could look after their own customers and stuff. But because they were so unorganised, things become messy. Basically I did some data entry and cleanup of a huge spreadsheet. Did not take me more than 20 minutes actual time doing it. But to hear them explain the job, was as if they needed to build a car. For goodness sake.............The other time eating problem was that I had to collect the bloody information from each person. If only everyone could do it sooner, read their e-mails, not be so bloody focused on their bonuses, and kept records for once, I would NOT have had to stay back 3 extra hours today !!! GRRRR. Someone should pay me more. Although I admit, my pay is pretty alright for a graduate, it is not great for ME. Headache came again. He is a very frequent visitor nowadays. Very unwelcome as well.

So basically, no bowling, no dinner, and instead .. work. The only consolation I have is that tomorrwo I am attending a press conference/seminar kind of thing at a hotel nearby. So goodbye to the drudgery of normal work though I am unsure if I have to stay back tomorrow. You can count on it. What a pain. And to think I have been up since 5.30 am to go to the gym. Feh. I better be losing some weight. Hmph.

I have been extremely addicted to David Tao's song - Love is Simple. I have positively listened to it for more than 10 times a day. No idea why, but it is so great to relax to. Hear are some lyrics to the song....in English of course.

"I do not know how it started, just that there was this feeling, and I found myself suddenly deeply in love with you. Loved you no matter what, and I could not make any decisions. I have never regretted, and for love would have followed you anywhere. That crazy person was me.

I love you. It is impossible not to love you, tell me you love me too. I love you. I never want to lose you.

I cannot be happier, as long as I am with you, we can do anything, I do not care. Although the world keeps on changing, I will use my most sincere heart to make our love simple. Loved you no matter what, and I could not make any decisions. I have never regretted, and for love would have followed you anywhere. That crazy person was me.

I love you. I have always been here baby, always loving you. I love you. I will never give up, my right of loving you. If you have any problem, just talk to me, I will listen. I love you."


My sentiments....are unyieldingly touched by this song. I need sleep. I am a babbling fool.

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Rant rant and rave. That is right and would I not love to kick MrJong. I would say he is probably the least favourite person on the team. He looks funny, laughs weirdly and has bad breath. Anyway, his assistant is on leave for 3 weeks and him I suppose being greedy had to complete a deal. Overnight ! Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous ? If it was my manager, I would have stayed and gladly because that is my job and I am helping her. In his case he had the boss come up to me and tell me there was something special for me to do. How ridiculous ! Worse, he came up at half past 5, 15 minutes before we were due to go off, to give me the work and tell me he wanted it tomorrow. The nerve of some people. And extremely rude as well ! No gratitude as well. Well guess who will not be on my wedding night invitation list ?? Not that I have started the list, but since I am planning my wedding, I might as well plan who will not be allowed to attend..........

And all this after an extremely tiring day that started with inadequate sleep and a long dream about someone close. Who got closer. And then it was that darn exam. What a cheat ! Questions on the exam tested us about things that were not even on the notes !!! How in the world were we supposed to answer then ? Ridiculous. Crazy. Not a good day. So I missed lunch as the exam lasted until 1 pm. So by now I was hungry, tired and pissed. Then worried cause a couple of things were held up, and deadline was coming. And also SailorJow was a bit daft, and a bit distracting. I do not blame her, I would have been exactly like her as she was settling in her new position. However, I blame her manager for giving her so much work without taking the time to explain although I can understand that she is very busy as well. There you have it. Perfectly tiring day. And then I got my headache again. I was so tempted to just tell MrJong that I had some kind of classes so I had to go off early. In the end I settled for doing most of the things he asked me to do and told him I had no access to system for the rest of it. It was only fair. I do not work for him.

And yea, happy birthday CCBear.

Wonder if that dream will come again......................

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Exam tomorrow. Butt still aches.

It is quite amazing how sometimes you think that time is positively crawling and you want it to go faster, like when you are stuck in a Credit Lecture that should have ended at least 30 minutes before. At the same time, sometimes, time postively flies by, like when you are at Red Box, and the waiter just hands you the bill just as you are about to sing your second song. Rude.

Arashi has released their latest single, Kitto Daijoubu. Is it just me, or are they not having songs as good they have had ? Or could it be that I have slowly got over my interest in them. Personally, I think that although I have definitely lost some interest in the Japanese scene and returned in force to the Chinese music scene, their new song does not measure up. As for NewS, I guess you can tell that they are not coming back. Lead, Flame, TT have managed to disappear to obscurity and W-inds are unevolvingly producing the same type of songs. As for the Koreans, Rain's only nice song is Sad Tango, DBSK is passable, BoA is alright and that is about it for me. I must admit right now, the Chinese scene is more my thing. It marks a complete cycle back to the time in SAM when I was heavily immersed when Jay Chou first released his songs. After 4 years, while Jay, Alexander and David have had some of the best songs, there have been many many new talents in the last year with some fantastic songs. This bodes well for Red Box. Rest assured they will have many more visits from me. I wonder if I should just get a VIP card....

Had Sakae Sushi for lunch again. It is addictive. Needless to say, pretty glad that they have a new branch at Subang Parade. No need to go all the way to the Curve. Though I must admit I will go to Parade again soon, as they seem to be undergoing big changes. New shops, new tiles, new furnishings. If more shops like Shins open up, it will be an interesting place. One reason I like Shins so much is because I am able to get stuff there that I used to get in Melbourne and I find it very hard to get here. But at Shins, they have the whole range. I am referring to certain hair products. Melbourne is fantastic. If only I could import Melbourne over...... However, I do have certain fond feelings for Malaysia. Now if only the people and the way they think and act would change and the weather would drop 10 degrees..........The place itself is fine. And there is nothing as beautiful in Melbourne as our own Petronas Towers at night. Shining brightly at night, this beacon is a welcome sight even if it is only peeking out behind some other towers.

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My legs ache. My arms ache. My head aches. My butt aches. Last night, I went to play squash with some of the guys from work. The youngest among them was 36. And yet I got my ass whooped. These guys were deceptive. Old but they had skill. Arghh. I was running around like a spinning top and never stopped out of personal pride. Somehow I lasted through 11 games in3 hours. Almost died. And dreaded the 500 metre walk to my car. Arghh. Now they tell me they want to play every week to train for the interbank games in September. Hmph. Feel like a punching bag, everything hurts.

After thinking it over, I think I might just go to some orphanages and pick up some kids for the weekend. Then I can bring them out, buy them some stuff, spend quality time. It is like being a dad but divorced, therefore just having a kid on the weekends. The cool thing is you are helping out society and at the same time, satisfy your parental urges. I might try that in a year or two.

I have been studying since Thursday for the ITSA right, and I have discovered that my studying habits are still the same. Study while watching movies on the computer. And also until the early hours of the morning. Some things just cannot change.

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I am soooo inspired to be a good father. I want a kid.

But of course, I am unable to afford one at the moment.

Everyone should watch "I Not Stupid 2".

Of course I am sure that this is just a phase I am going through. Whoever heard of a 21 year old wanting a family ?

But I need my own so that I can stop making plans to kidnap cute kids that I see.

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It is quite amazing how everyone is actually facing changes in their lives. My family mechanic who is trusted with the family's 6 cars is actually selling the business. How can that happen ? How can he just go ? Does he not care ? What are we going to do ? are just some of the questions that run through my head. In fact, it seems that we should never depend too much on anyone else unless we are absolutely sure that they are going to be there right ? These people take you in, build up trust and then just leave. How irresponsible !!! Some part of you want to hate them for letting you get comfortable in life before leaving you in the lurch...and then some part of you reminds you that it was not that long ago when you said that you would prefer to have loved and lost then to never have lost before. It is so irritating to be on both sides at once. For once you wish that life was easier and that some decisions never came to be.

Talked for about an hour with SailorJeow last night about money. Or rather the lack of it. Was surprised to hear her say that she would not trade her brains for Paris Hilton's wealth. Was surprised because I would SO do that in a minute. But then again I am pretty materialistic. Which I realise is one of my failings. Alongside a lack of self discipline, vanity, laziness and selfishness. Yes I realise I have more but who wants to list down all their failings ? Not me. Too many to list. But I digress. We were talking about how hard it was to save some money, buy a nice little house, have kids and live happily ever after. Though in my case it was more like how hard it was to buy Zara clothes, get a nice car, have a big house, have lots of kids and live happily ever after. Basically my plan was to marry someone rich although I was told I should not think about that plan. Hmph. Pretty unfair if you ask me, but then again, you would expect it, with all the discrimination that is occurring in this world. I mean, if Anna Nicole Smith can do it, so can I.

Anyway, it continued on to how some kids/colleagues are so rich that they drive big cars and spend on trips abroad or expensive watches. And I realised that that was I wanted. Although it would take me forever to earn it even if I was saving every bit of my salary. Totally impossible. And can you imagine trying to spend on anything luxurious when you have kids ? What is the secret ? Must I really float my own company ? But what would I sell ? Would I ever become really rich by just working for someone ? How rich is rich enough ? You realise that these thoughts hardly come when you are still studying but once you start working they bombard you like a torrent of ballistic missiles.

Anyway, all I can for now is just to keep pushing ahead with ambition and hope that something good happens. Like I pick up a winning lottery number, or that I win this grand prize of a billion dollars for opening a can of coke. I need money. If anyone has any extra, please send in a cheque in my name, PayPal account 91483712 or Bank Account Number 3198-168421-1824. Thank you very much.

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I have now successfully survived two full days at work suffering from headache and intense sleepiness. Mayhap I am really growing old. Or maybe just the stress of ITSA. Even though I have taken Thursday and Friday off, I will be going back on Friday afternoon, and am still seriously considering going back on Thursday since there is a big meeting. Argh. It seems as if one can NEVER take some time off.

Have got severely addicted to pokerstars again. Nuff said.

Arghh.. Need to study.

Seriously, there has got to be more to life.

But of course there are always funny things that you encounter. Like when you swipe all 200 free weekly passes to the gym and arrange them in a nice geometric pattern on your colleague's desk. Or when you get lost somewhere in the vast area of PJ and find yourself totally lost. Or finding out after playing Mahjong for 6 hours that you are wearing green while your two companions are in red and white.

And then learning that you can get withdrawal syndromes when you skip Milo.

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Today I have a blistering headache. Maybe it was the heat. Or the work. Or the fact that I did not get enough sleep last night. But ouch.

I heard someone laugh behind me at lunchtime and I thought for a moment it was CKBear. Oops. It was not. Too bad. Hope you are studying for your exam !

Apparently KeeBear and DanBear are coming home this winter. Anyone else ? Was thinking at first maybe we could have a trip somewhere but I forgot that young people have their own plans too. Maybe another time.

Lots of work today. Lots and lots and lots. And no time to study for the ITSA exam on Monday. Grr.... headache headache headache.

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After a year, I finally found the energy to get off my butt, and look for the way to embed music onto my blog. Just shows you what one can do with the right mood and inspiration.

Celebrated Mother's Day as well as SailorRoz's birthday this weekend. Spent some time at Alexis BSC which is quite a nice place but parking is freaking expensive. Then did some bowling. I can pretty well always get above 100 now, but that is quite lousy actually. I need someone who is really interested to come play with me regularly. Since stupid SoBear got me addicted, he should look for someone. Have signed up for this bowling competition so some of us went to the place to practice yesterday. What a terrible place ! First of all, the balls are all of the same size. The place is dirty dark and old. Oh well.

One week to ITSA exams. Have gone through the stuff twice actually but plan to go through it twice more. I want to pass it the first time through. Realized that I am actually quite competitive when it comes to exams especially if people can know my results. Unlike in university. I guess that was why I paid more attention at school.

Have been in a pretty decent mood this weekend. I have no idea why. I just feel happy and sometimes it is like how everything is so wonderful and shining and bright. There are all these rainbows and sunshine and candy canes floating in the air sort of feeling. I wonder how long it will last ? I actually have a whole tonne of mail to reply to, not least of all, ParkyBear's mail. Might try to do it now.

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I was reading through my friendster testimonials out of boredom (although I should be studying) and I have come to realise that by reading testimonials you can really get to know someone. Since their friends would say things about them, or paste pictures or just talk about memories. You can piece together bits of history, hobbies, important things that happened in their lives....quite amazing and can be an interesting read, if you manage to wade through all the useless testimonials that have zero relevant content.........(so how come there is no one at my side if i am so nice ????) LOL. I guess I am still waiting.

When someone is lonely they naturally think back to happier times, like when there were people to take photos with, play games with, drink with, chat with, have food with, shop with, sleep with and everything else. Boy am I glad that I have all these memories to look back fondly on. At these times when I am frequently nostalgic and not that surrounded with people, it feels good to look back and think. :) And I am not surprised at all that after talking to people who were formerly from Melbourne as well that they all miss it and everyone is actually waiting for a chance to go back, yearning to go back and recapture some of the happy times that they spent in their youth over there. Including me. However, none of them have actually made it back yet, a very ominous sign. They are just too caught up with work, relationships as well as busy saving money for their house/car/marriage. Hmmmm.

I am just in a terribly good mood today.

I have also found some fantastic music.

I am happy.

Though I sometimes sometimes wish I had someone to be happy with. Maybe I need to get a dog.

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It is certainly a week for international phone calls !!

I got a call at the office from XXBear and we talked for 90 minutes. And that was only because we got cut off. Lol. My naughty colleagues thought I was flirting with one of my customers and were all speculating about it until they got bored. Haha. We talked a lot because there was so much to talk about. My work experiences, her PR experiences, people that we know and since she was still doing some work at IH, there was really lots to talk about. A wave of nostalgia....

I broke my vow of clothing chastity and bought 2 T-shirts from 3point6. Argh. The worst thing is they are alright, and cheap but now that I have got them, I feel that I could have done better. This is the worst thing about doing something on the spur of the moment when you realise the things that you have bought are not that great after all !! But I will wear them of course, I have not had anything new for a long time...since I came back from Melbourne in fact ! Then had a walk around KLCC with SailorJeow, had dinner at GenkiSushi..before joining up with SailorJoyo and SailorJlo at Chilli's (again) and talked until closing time. For the second night in a row.

There is a mysterious flu/fever/cough bug going around the office and it reminded me a lot of the times when IH was under siege from these mysterious diseases that seem to strike everyone. I have a little bit of cough and flu myself. No karaoke ! Though I have to practice for the bank's bowling competition and then get fit to try out for the squash team. Good thing I went to the gym all this while, otherwise I think i would totally not be able to move much around the court.

Lots of studying to do..it is only 11 days to my ITSA...........................

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Watched MI:3 yesterday. Alright movie. 3.5 Stars from me. It was fun because the bank had booked 3 cinemas for us to go watch. Only RM5 for the movie plus a drink plus a popcorn. And since my boss sponsored us to go, technically, it was free. Then later spent some time at Chilli's again to celebrate SailorRoz's birthday. 23rd birthday. I thought she was turning 22, and then remembered with a shock that it was ME who was going to be turning 22. Arghhh !!

Friday is going to be a public holiday for Wesak. It will be the last holiday before the 31st of August which is Independece Day. What a long long time away !!! 3.5 months !! In the meantime, I have lots of exams anyway.

I totally forgot what I was going to post, although I had it really well planned out yesterday. Shucks. It is now of course early in the morning, and I am just wasting some time before setting out for the gym.

Well...I guess we will just have to wait for the next post.

Hugs.

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Read this paragraph yesterday in this book I was going through.

"I do not want to be hurt.
And what leads to hurt ?
Loss.
Loss of what I hold dear.
How do I avoid being hurt ?
I refuse to get attached.
But it also means there is no love"

Wa...so deep. But can you believe that I understood what it meant? And I totally agree.
One has got to choose whether to be hurt, or to have felt love. We cannot choose both and hope that everyone in the world is able to live happily ever after.

I have been hurt many many times.

And yet I still choose to love.

Stupid ? Maybe. But I enjoyed every minute.

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Sunday afternoon - Thing you never expect

#1. FredBear called from Melbourne.
#2. I spent 6 hours playing mahjong yesterday - the 3 person variety.
#3. Woke up at 7 am for breakfast with colleagues.
#4. Trojans called yesterday.
#5. No studying done this weekend so far.

WHAT A SURPRISE !! I feel like I am going around a corner or a bend in my life and the trouble is that I have no idea what is in front waiting for me. I do not know who I will be meeting, what I shall be doing or even when I finally get around the corner !

Work is becoming a routine thing which is good because I know now, who to call, what to do when certain things come in, I have even got a whole list of customer contacts who know me by name and send me mail. Lol. Which reminds me that I have a whole bunch of mail to reply to as well.

Well, I finally bought underclothing that I needed. Haha. Well, anyway I was walking around Isetan after work on Friday just to pass time with SailorJeow and she wanted to get her boyfriend a birthday present as well. So I went with her and tried on many shirts. I quite liked some of them, but I am still not past the stage where I feel that many things are too expensive. Even though they are actually cheaper than they were in Melbourne. But I do know what I want and enjoyed trying out all the shirts. Anyway, sale occurs every year, so I could always buy them next year.

Wish I had a lifetime sponsorship from Zara or G2K for clothes though. Hehe. In return for appearing on their billboards of course.

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It is pretty sad to find out that two close friends are going through Melbourne withdrawal syndromes. I sympathise very much as I have fully felt the effects and am still feeling them. However, I would like to say that life must go on somehow, and pray hard that someday, somehow, you will get to meet your friends again, and even if the shops have changed, the apartment has been torn down, and everything has changed, memories in your mind will stay for a long time. I wish I could learn to take my own advice. I still miss Melbourne as well.

Life has been very kind to me and sometimes I am very thankful. But often, I am ungrateful and frequently ask for more, is that bad ? Maybe I just want to be a little bit happier ?

And sometimes I wonder when is the next big change going to happen for me ? Yes I know that I have started to work and also to study part time as well. But it still feels as if I am doing everything in a daze, and I have not completely woken up to this fact as well. It is true. I still expect to go on holiday for Easter. I plan trips to certain restaurants in Melbourne in my dreams. I keep wanting to recommend things to people and realising that it was in Melbourne. In some ways, Melbourne has sort of become the little utopia for me. But then again, will it be different now that everyone has also grown up ? Would I still like it this way ? How would I feel if I just stayed young in uni but everyone else grows older and moves on ? I just cannot answer these questions and it is not like they are going to happen anyway.

The next big change, a rotation to a new department maybe ? The training in Singapore which I hope will happen ? A girlfriend ? Successfully completing something at work and being recognised ? What will happen next ?

It is very easy to cry but so much harder to smile at people and continue on through life. It takes a lot of bravery and courage. And you wonder why we keep at going through life ?

What awaits ?

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Just when you think you have gotten settled in, the world moves and you are left stuck on the wrong side again.

Just when you think you have heard all the weirdest things in the world, someone asks you if you know the real reason assholes exist.

Just when you think lunch could not get any worse, you have the same food for lunch as you did for breakfast.

Just when you think you have found and made some friends, they get transferred somewhere else.

Just when you think there might be a happy ending, something spoils it.

Just when you think that the weekend is here, you realise too late that it is rather short.

I have a headache.

Darn changes. Though I must admit, they can be rather interesting.

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I am bloody exhausted.

Happy Birthday IzyBear.

That is about all I want to say.

I need some proper sleep.

And a life.

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This is me right after the haircut. I am too dark. Or maybe not. Since I look darker here than in real life. But I quite like the haircut. Comments comments !!

In this picture, the stylist left long bits to the left. This was because I got used to it ever since the people at Box Hill did it that way. So I still keep it longer than the other side.

In the second picture below, I put it all up. I wonder which is a better look. Or should I just mix it up all the time ?

Hmm.

Tough decision.

Anyway, as you can see in the second pic, I left some strands down the centre. Somehow, they refuse to stay up. But I quite like it when all the hair is up too. And why both pics are in pink ? Just so happened. It is not like I deliberately chose them. Well I did, but you know what I mean.

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