Straight to the point. So sad to think that so much crap is happening in IH..........hope it all blows over soon. *HuGz to all of you there. Cheer up :) At least you get Easter holidays.

Very tired. I do not understand how I can stay alive on so little sleep. Argh.

CFA Books are here. Time to start studying....it all seems so hard though !

Tomorrow we farewell two fun people from the floor. Seems sad because just got to know them better and could have foreseen a lot more fun !!! Sigh. Life is too full of farewells !

Freaking tired !!

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So, it seems that I am SOO busy that I am stuck at the office even during this time which is like almost 9 pm.

So obviously, I have to blog from office. Right ? Since I am working so much overtime anyway but do not want to claim...for obvious reasons (good impression la) I might as well have some relaxation time. The sad thing is I am unable to connect to anything remotely resembling an instant messaging application, any websites which are personal, contains sex and nudity as well as any other personal sites. Oh well.

You kinda find that you have reached a certain stage in your life, when outings planned for fun include resting and board games. When trying to go out with a bunch of people requires prior notification for 2 weeks at least. It is really extremely hard to meet people. Actually, even my high school friends, I have not seen them for more than twice maximum. And even then, I do not think I have met more than 10. And this is after being back for 3 months.

You also know that you are feeling the age when you find that conversations contain a lot of 'I remember when............." and "Last time, I........"

I want to have a baby. Random, I know. But not just any baby. Above 2 preferably. Maybe I should just volunteer at the hospital. But then again, not very free.

I should take the effort to meet my friends right ?

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I have so little time to myself ! Argh !!

Meanwhile I think it is totally unfair that all the nice clothes that they sell in Sungeiwang are for Johnny sized people only !!

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Hmm I read this article and it was all about things you cannot understand about men.

Why won't he stop and ask for directions? Well obviously because I KNOW my way there. If I was really lost, I might ask.

Why is he obsessed with the Discovery Channel? I am SOOO not. But I do love Animal Planet.

Why does he love quickies so much? Errm. Guilty.

Why can't he be bothered to wrap a present? I love having nice wrapping but cannot be bothered to wrap it myself though. Thank goodness for those ready made wrappers/boxes/ribbons and bows.

Why can't he throw out those junky T-shirts from college? Ew. True though. Just lazy.

Why does he call his friends by rude nicknames? Do not. Do not. Crude.

Why does he suck at chitchatting on the phone? I am great on the phone !!

Why must he repack the car when you fit everything in fine? Nope. Not me.

Why does he always think it is 20 degrees hotter than it really is? It is soo hot. I swear.

Why does he have a garage filled with power tools he never uses? Not guilty.

Why doesn't he want to talk about his day when he gets home?" Very guilty.

Why can he remember the score of a baseball game played 10 years ago, but forgets his own mother's birthday? Erm. Sometimes..

Why does he get jealous about a boyfriend from seventh grade? Erm..Maybe

What's up with all the lesbian fantasies?" :)

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I cannot believe that it has been a week already. Although I would not say that time is really passing by really fast because it is STILL March. Will this horrible month EVER go away ?!>!?!

Meanwhile I have spent entirely too much money, fallen in love with clothes at Sungeiwang, celebrated SailorCY's birthday with a fantastic cake, got an invitation to a second round of assessment by Merrill Lynch in Melbourne, had a bad session of karaoke, made a new buddy who constantly emails, started on April's work, and got a pen thrown in my face by Sailor JoYo. Not exactly a great week. Hmph.

And now I am just ranting to NiqBear on MSN. The stupid time difference makes it so that when I come online at night it is fantastically late in Melbourne and when I come on in the Morning, everyone is still asleep. If last week was a great week, this week is about as fun as a fried banana in the drain.

Meanwhile am still pissed that so many are so commerciallistic that they choose to ask people to pay to get access to certain information. How am I supposed to do any research then bozos !!

Pissed that it is still burning hot here, food can cost so much, bloody car installment payments, stupid CFA rip-offs, crazy drivers on the road, disgusting traffic jams, depressing rainfall, low pay (I am just ranting... I know that I should be thankful for what I am getting paid..but Justin Timberlake was a millionaire at my age......) and that I was so dumb and emo.. Pah.

Glad that I can gym at least 3 times a week, that I can survive on an apple and lunch most days, got to see pictures of National Night, that I am still alive, that I can still smile all the time (ug..want to stop smiling but it is hard..) and that I am still able to go online (without which I will just die in a spontaneous combustion).

Yea, hope will be able to give you happier versions of my life next time.

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Why do I feel this way about you ?
And seriously, noone will be able to answer this question.

This is because each of you reading this, will be thinking of a different person, but even I cannot tell you if you are correct, because I myself am not sure who I am thinking of as I write these words.

I am not exactly depressed, so this is not one of my monthly depression cycles. It is just one of my musings. Who exactly do I have the deepest feelings for ? Who am I waiting for ? Who do I want to spend more time with ? More importantly, who do I want to spend forever with ?

I am not unhappy right now. But conversely, I cannot truthfully say that I am happy and contented at this moment. Sure, you might say that grass seems greener on the other side, or that we should learn to be contented. But I cannot. What is this yearning to be more ?

I learnt today that we should try to aim for success which are SMART.
S = specific
M = measurable
A = assessable
R = realistic
T = time-bound

But is this not a little too materialistic ? But then again, I myself would like to have material things now as well......................the mind boggles..

Maybe I should write a book.................................

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Ug. What an ug day. That is all I have to say.

Only saving grace were conversations with CKBear and KeeBear..............miss you guys !

I was walking around 1U....and saw everything on sale....nifty shoes, funky tees...and I was sad. Not because I could not afford them but because I had no time to wear them any more. Ug.

Then I was also looking at my accounts and so far this month I have spent like 4000 just on my exams...life is not easy. I am quite broke also. And I also have to start paying for the car from next month. Ug.

Lunch and Dinner = Ug.

Not enough sleep = Ug.

Rain all afternoon = Ug.

A very Ug day.

But of course...tomorrow is a new day.

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Does cute mean
cute little bunny (maybe)
or cute little boy (probably)
or cute guy (I doubt it...sigh)


Urg. Life sucks.

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Now the site has gone all wonky and I cannot access it.

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I thought I had a mystery random reader ie Sheila...but I think I know who are you now ... :) Keep your identity under wraps OK ? And no discussing this blog with me haha.


Anyway let me introduce you to the office sailors that I hang out with.

First is Sailor SS. She is married and the oldest of us all. But of course, you can never expect when she will laugh and make childish jokes. A good singer, she is a karaoke partner.
After that is Sailor JM. She warms up very fast to people she regards as friends. Helpful and kind, she is the one who understands the most.
Then there is Sailor JY. She knows a lot more about us then we know about her. She is the one who can make more sophisticated jokes and the most mysterious one as well.
Next is Sailor JL. She is a real puzzle because she can be so naive/innocent/childish and then serious at the next moment. She is the one with nicest clothes and shoes.
Then there is Sailor CT. She is the funniest one because she has really weird habits. She is the one who has a great fondness of Milo and Tuna.
Also, there is Sailor JoYo. The most famous one on this blog, she is naturally neat, and serious looking but oh..you should see her when she laughs... ;) She is the cute one.
Lastly, there is Sailor RR. She is active, and able to laugh at jokes very easily. She is the sensible one.

It seems I have 7 sailors..but only 6 pics. Well that is because.....erm...these people are better than Sailor Moon la !

Thinking back it is really weird why there are only girls to hang out with.. I am not so sure myself. My first clique was two girls back in Standard 3. They lasted all through primary school. Then I had a couple of great years when I had some great guy friends. But in college, I started with 10 girls as lunch mates, and ended up with 4 as close friends. In uni, the girls greatly outnumbered guys in college and though I do have amazing guy friends, they can never outnumber the close girl friends I had. Now it is the same situation. Oh well. Although I like it how I can make friends easily with them, I hope that I will never hear the words "I would prefer that we remain friends". Urgh. I think I have heard that at least 4 times......

Anyway ....!!!!

I get really tired nowadays. Must be the gym and the fact that I had bad nights last week. I think a person will really accumulate sleep debt !! I am almost bankrupt.

Sigh. People tell me I can model. What a load of rubbish. Although, I do sleep with a smile on my face at night now.

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Frustrations set in when you are unable/unsuccessful.

Fun = 5 girls + sex talk for 2 hours.

Sigh. What a life.

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Sometimes I wonder if I am just dreaming. The past week has gone by in a whirlwind of rosy happiness. The past month just flew by like a hurricane in a rush. Things just do not seem to be real. Yesterday seems to be just a happy dream and tomorrow is like a murky darkness of the unknown. So the only thing which can be real is right here and right now. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that one should not live so much in the past because it is all over and will only be a dream, not just to you but to everyone else. And one should also not worry too much about tomorrow, since it is so unknown that worrying unnecessarily will be just a waste of time, effort and money. Instead, we should just focus on being happy now, today, at this very moment.

It is extremely funny how things can happen to one as if it were the movies. No longer will I ever doubt things I see in the movies because they can come true. One of the best examples of things happening in the movies can happen in real life was the courtship of Nicoletta Braschi by Roberto Benigni in the movie "Life is Beautiful" . Everything seemed like a dream or a fairytale to the female, but only because the male had worked so hard. Not just to make things right, but to ensure that she was suitably happy and impressed. It happened to me too.

I was doing my normal morning internet session and surprisingly had a very nice conversation with SoBear whom I had not had communications with for a while. It was interesting and extremely nice to hear about bowling or plans or the Commonwealth games and made me think about the happy times in the holidays when we just talked and talked about everything. Then I was just driving along to work. The beautiful sun was just peeking out of the clouds in the horizon, making the Telekom Tower look really majestic and beautiful, with rays of dawnlight playing catch with the last of the shadows of the dusk. The streetlights started going off, one by one, along me, as if they were trying to play with me. As soon as I drove past one, it turned off. It was like magic. There was also no traffic on the street. And even when there were, the cars just moved right and left into other lanes, leaving me a clear space all the way to my destination. I felt like Moses parting the traffic sea. Along the way, I was humming a song, and it played on the radio suddenly, without any introduction from the deejays. And when I got off my car, birds started chirping and my shoes felt really comfortable, as if they belonged only to me. It is at these moments that you think to yourself, "Isn't life just wonderful ?"

Although I know this was because SoBear had classes at 10, the whole system of lights were made to switch off one by one in a row, the sun comes up every morning, that school holidays had made the traffic very light and that birds do start to chirp in the morning, it still felt like magic ! And I really do believe that magic can happen when you are happy.

Just when I was missing the Melbourne people, I receive 3 postcards and a card from them. Just when I wanted to talk a bit and find out how KeeBear was doing, I get a 2 hour long phone call. Just when I wanted to have my Korean and Japanese food, I had a Japanese buffet and a Korean barbecue on subsequent days. Just when I really wanted to sing, I was asked to go to karaoke during my lunch time. Just when I was getting tired in the gym, someone came to join me and talk and joke while exercising. Just when I was feeling sleepy and hungry in the office, someone decided to buy everyone in the team a marvelous carrot cake. Just when I was bored, I discovered a new game on Neopets. Just when I could not sleep, I found a wonderful book to read. Just when I thought there was no more toilet paper, I found one under the sink. I swear ! It is magic !!

And it has been day 2 of induction and those 2 stupid girls finally realise who I liked. Though it was actually because they were counting up the chances of love between the two of us using the stupid letters in name method and got 95%. After numerous urges by them for me to chase her, I am like "Yea, I am trying...." And so now I have two little cupids who are going to try their best to shoot JoYo full of arrows..... ><"""

And that is why I truly believe that happiness is self perpetuated.

PS...everyone out there should get a copy of the Korean movie 'Jenny and Juno' and watch it right now !

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Some weird thing happened. Everything on my blog is now in Korean !!! I mean for blogger though. Lucky I have sort of memorised everything I need, but it is still kinda freaky. You mean they thought after my few lines of korean that this blog was korean !!?! Argh !!

Bad News : My colleagues are trying to match me up with some girl. Grrrr. Wrong one though.

Induction training today. The first of 3 days. So boring !!!

I wrote a really nice thing this morning but I left it in the office. Maybe I should post it tomorrow.

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dobeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum
ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun
gu marur midosso nengen hengbogiosso
nonur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman
todashi sarange monojinunge yoja ya
yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo
budi hengbogharago noboda johun sarammannagir barandago
sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shirhol
naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar sarmyon otohge
nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde..................

My sentiments...at this moment. Haha. Feeling the happiness in my brain and the ache all over the body.

Found out accidentally that one of my best friends got himself attached (again!...i think this is like the 7th time or something) . Things that struck me suddenly was, you never know just when some of your friends will suddenly tell you that they are getting married !! WAHHHH ... cold feet already.

Meanwhile for some fun...found this on the net...spell your name... I wish my name was ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.....coz you can see that it is better the more letters there are ! Anyway, as a summary....I have unforgettable sex times 2, and fun when meeting new people times 2, like to try new things, broad minded, friendly & understanding and believe in love.

N : Your sex is unforgettable
G : You are very friendly and understanding
K : You like to try new things
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people
W : You are very broad minded
I : Love is something you deeply believe in
N : Your sex is unforgettable

So my personal ad should be : I can always give you an unforgettably great time, am very willing to try anything new especially with anyone new since I am broad minded, will be friendly and understanding if you are new to it, and I believe deeply in love especially when we are having sex.

The Alphabet:
A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE B : You are loved by a lot of ppl C : You're wild and crazy
D : You have trouble trusting people
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people F:People totally adore you
G : You are very friendly and undestanding H : You have very good personality and looks
I : Love is something you deeply believe in J : Everyone loves you
K : You like to try new things L : You always make other people smile when you smile
M : You are beautiful, and sexy N : Your sex is unforgetable O : You love foreplay
P : You are very friendly and understanding Q : You are a hypocrite
R: Someone loves you S : People think you are so sexy T : You are one of the best in bed
U : You are really chill V : You are not judgemental W : You are very broad minded
X : You never let people tell you what to do Y : You make every experience great
Z : You're Super cool

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What a wonderful week it has been. I must say this has been the most wonderful week that I have had since I came back from Melbourne

On Monday, I sneaked off work early even though I had a fantastic day at work and got postcards and a call from Melbourne. On Tuesday I had a great day laughing all the time at work. On Wednesday, I had an amazing day at work plus lots of fun plus dinner. Plus 2 nice postcards from an aeroplane. On Thursday i had a marvellous day at work and discovered that I flirted a lot at the office. Today is Friday. I got off work early again, and even had the chance to go for a karaoke lunch. Cost me only RM8. Amazingly cheap for 2 hours singing plus lunch and drink. Plus I got 2 wonderful companions to sing with me. Plus I got someone who woke up early to gym with me this morning. Plus I did really well on my gym times. Lots of improvement. Plus lots of laughs. Plus a super day at work. Plus a mega nice card came in the post.

And then I find out that next week for 3 days I got induction to the company, so 3 days without work hurray !! And I also already know 2 girls who are in the same batch, so we are gonna have lots of fun. And when I come back to work on Thursday and Friday, my manager is on leave ! Hurray ! It means I can sneak off early again !

Sigh. If only every week can be as good as this ! Wonderful Wonderful Wonderful.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY !!!

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Ug..Yay it is Thursday ! Only one more day from Friday. Gosh how time flies....when it is over...

Job is still fun..this has been a really great week at work and I just hope that it stays that way or gets even better. Had lots of fun with Maggie too..on the phone. She is 4 years older than me. But then so is SS. Hmmmmmmmm. But she is married of course.

The workplace is a very dangerous place for young single people. Wait, make that young people. Because even married people can be very friendly or you might not know that they were married. Stress.

Had dinner with JessBear and HHBear today. Was a spur of the moment thing. But still enjoyable. Now have to go gym tomorrow morning.

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Let me tell you a story....

Once she complained that her eyes were sore. He suggested she take her eyeballs out and wash them. She said she would but she did not bring soap. They laughed for a long time. The next day, he presented her with a leaf. He told her that looking at green things would help her eyes feel better. She pinned it up right in front of her. They laughed again. She thanked him again later. Then they went out for dinner and laughed till they cried. She had more work to do. He considered staying back but could not be stuffed and left.

They both fell asleep that night.

LOL

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Sigh. Gym hurts. Have to wake up early is tiring. And I did not really get enough sleep last night too. But I had another great day at work today. Accomplished lots and learnt even more. Had a great time talking to customers again. I think I should so work a hotline, but then again, I would not go far in it. I believe I am really good at telling stories and teaching things to people, and that is something that I have done for a long time, even since primary school when I taught my friends how to do their homework. Over the years, it has become an art. Now that my younger sister is doing swaps and options and derivatives, I find that I love teaching. In fact, I remember wanting to be an English teacher when I was 10 and the class was going really boringly. I also found out that my dad was a good teacher in the airforce ! Wonder....

Am going to watch Final Destination 3 tomorrow with some colleagues. Yay ! Time for some recreation. Although I should really save some money. I should be studying for my CSA and ITSA as well. Lucky they are like 5 months before CFA. What a lot of exams one has to take !??
Have just decided will not go to gym tomorrow. Too tired. Might go on Thursday instead.

If you can look at someone doing their work, with hair covering their eyes and just keep on looking, what does that mean ? If they laugh at your lame jokes, is that good ? Haha.

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I was *evil today and sneaked off from work at 5.45 pm. On the dot. Hehe. One gotta enjoy life sometimes. But I did a lot of work today. And was very absorbed in it too. So absorbed that today just seemed to fly right by. Looked up and it was already lunch time. Sat down and it was almost 5 pm. I like these kind of days. Because it means that you are doing something and are enjoying it too ! Well I certainly did. A lot of job satisfaction today. Made about a hundred phone calls to 50 different people. Got things going and made a lot of connections all over the organisation. Got someone's mobile number. (Sheesh it was so easy ! Why could I not do it when I wanted to when I was younger.... ??) Hurrying people using the word urgent. Made people feel extremely well-serviced with attentive calls and promises made good. Ah...I love my job. And I must admit, feel quite happy right now.

Happiness is a good thing.

IT IS !

Oh and I came home and guess what I got. CKBear's postcard from the plane. It has taken like 2 weeks to get here !? Lol..and only one arrived. One more seems to have got lost in the mail. Thanks. Also thanks to trojans for the nice phone call. Only problem was that it got me too excited and I could not sleep that night. Toss and turn...stupid bolster...haha.. So not enough sleep = too tired to go gym = wasted opportunity to lose weight..... Argh. Early bedtime tonight and then gym tomorrow. Bad news = my pants are all too loose. Good news = I lost weight. Bad news = Need to spend money on new pants. Good news = Get to go shopping for new pants.

Life is complicated.

But fun. You never know what can be around the corner. Like love. And chocolates. And stains on your shirt.

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What do you get when you fall in love?
A girl with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you kiss a girl?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, she'll never phone you.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That's what you get for your devotion.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.
So, for at least until tomorrow,
I'll never fall in love again.

My sentiments exactly. Love is very difficult. (well for me at least). But then again, although I never take only a day to get over it, I do get over it. But sometimes it is nice to think about what could have been. And then you think about what you are doing now. And just be happy and go towards the future. Though worries will be around you all the time, sometimes you just need to forget everything, and get a hug. It is a sentimental day lar !! I have no idea why. OK la actually I do. Stupid Commencement Dinner Pics !! :P

And crap, have to work tomorrow. *Bump back to reality. Oh and gym at 6.30 am.

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Dinner was sweeeeeeeeeett........we just laughed and talked and laughed and teased and laughed some more. It was a very very enjoyable dinner at Chilli's KLCC. Although we only started eating at 8 pm due to the fact that work ended a bit late, it was still great. On the menu were Buffalo Chicken Salad and Lamb Shoulder. Guess who had salad ? The funny thing was, no matter how we try to change the subject, somehow it always led back to work. So weird !! Well not just work work, but people at work, joke at work, relationships at work, traditions at work...hmm.........but yes I was very happy last night.

Walking around KLCC on a Friday night is scary in the sense that you had no idea that there were that many people in the world....one can get lost just walking around the same place. It was quite crazy.

Plans for today include a haircut, dentist, and dinner out again. I am going to be so broke and it is only the 4th of March !!!!! So for the next month, my entertainment shall be gym and studies. Oh...but someone said we should go out again.........so..I am so torn.

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Whoa….talk about office politics. This is my story though, so it may not really be office politics. One of the managers in my team compiled birthdays of all her clients. She is quite new, about 3 weeks into the job. The head of the team sent out an email saying this was a good thing and we should stay personal with the clients. Then another manager immediately sent out an email giving tips like how the list should be short as we should only celebrate the birthdays of big clients due to lack of time and money. And some other things. Wah. So it was like basically “Please. As if she is doing something totally new that we are not doing now. And she is not even smart enough to think the plan through. Listen to this…instead. Act smart only. Want to let boss think you very smart.” Fooyoh !! But this could of course be totally the product of my over-imaginative brain. It could be just more senior managers giving some good advice. And then also there are these managers who are always smiling when talking to you and being very nice. But once they discover your place at the bottom of the whole team they change. They can stop smiling once they turn away. Or stop talking and walk off when the lift opens as if they have never been listening to a word they say. They think you would not notice, but I do. They are so fake. But they cannot fool me, after all cause I am such a master of fake behaviour. I can sniff out fakeness right away. But it is okay cause I fake them back.

Seriously I think all office workers wait for Fridays. It is the best day of the week. Not the weekends and not any other day but Friday. Because of the potential. Any other weekday is too far from the weekend. And the weekend itself just reminds you that Monday is coming. But Friday is just perfect. Everyone will be in a good mood and wear nice clothes for casual Friday. They will also outline their plans for the night and the weekend loudly for everyone to hear. Then little cliques of senior staff will joke and laugh over private things, flirt a little (scandalous !) and also ask us (juniors) what we are doing. TGIF !!!

I think it is very unfair how people tell you certain things like ‘Procrastination is the thief of time” and “Always save for a rainy day” but they never tell you just how IMPORTANT they are ! So you should really take note man !! Advice from old people ARE TRUE !!! It just takes time for you to know how true they can be. For example, not only am I penniless right now and unable to buy things that I want and regretting buying certain useless things or clothes that I do not wear, I also find that I am short on time for everything !!! Because I procrastinate too much. So do listen to the wise words of your elders before too late…like me..

OMG. My colleagues just asked me why am I always so happy and making jokes. They ask if I was the joker in class. Little do they know that I was sooooo quiet in class !!! And busy studying too……so people can change after all. Oh and I caught one my bosses scratching his butt.....in the corridoor. Haha he was the same one who arranged his golf balls in the shape of a smily face in front of the big boss' door.

OOOO…..was pretty glad I stayed back a later today. One of my managers needed a file which only I had since I typed it out. Without me, he would have lost a few million dollars !! OOOOO…..so hehe I guess you can say I just earned that few million for the bank although I guess I should have left a copy on the network. But still…..

Ah dinnertime !!@!!@#R%@$%

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Whoever it was that said that the darkest hour is before dawn is a very smart person. I was having dark hours ... a few of them la... and although there were a few stars here and there so it was not totally dark, my dawn came through today.

When you hug friends, it used to be that you could do it without thinking. But then, things change. Nowadays, at the workplace, you have to consider whether some people are MARRIED or NOT before you can flirt or hug them. SERIOUSLY. Like, I never had to take this into consideration before when I made friends and gave them hugs. This is quite complicated. This is because it seems that once you reach an age though, and a certain rank, people flirt quite a lot too even though they are married. The confusions of working life !

But I maintain that I am a very optimistic and happy person at heart. It is just that I lose control of my Cancerian emotions sometimes. I am a bouncy ball of emotions Haha !

I will try my best to make my life work. I went to the gym today again at 6.30 am. I had 90 minutes personal training with this Hafiz guy who just graduated from Uniten in MechEng. He would not let me stop ! Arghh. Although my back and arms were really killing me at the end of my session, I have to thank him. He taught me a lot about all the machines and the muscles too ! Although I think he wanted me to buy personal training sessions. I do not think I will though. I have not enough money.

As far as CFA goes, I have decided to self study instead of going for courses, I hope that is wise. My exam will be on the 2nd of Dec, and I will have to get books to start reading soon. My plan is to study at night. I hope I will not be too tired !! POWER ON !

To infinity and beyond .....................

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Happiness is like a drug. When you have it, everything is wonderful. When it is over, you feel like dying.

Sometimes life is not about looking at the bright side. It is about looking at the side which is less dark.

I spent the whole day, thinking and philosophing on these two things. Sign of old age? Or at least mid-life crisis....

One thing I know for sure, is that my body aches so much. That is what you get, when you suddenly go to the gym. But I am going tomorrow morning at 6.30 am. Which is pretty much the only spare time I have left. Once I get my CFA reading materials, I shall be spending my weeknights and weekends studying. Goodbye social life. Speaking of which, I wonder just where I am supposed to find the love of my life when I am so bloody busy ? Other than work (which is filled with political incorrectness) and church, I hardly go anywhere ?!!!

With barely enough sleep, and meals filled with tofu and vegetables as well as exercise, I have been losing about a pound a week. Really hope I can keep it up. The funny thing is that I seem to have this happy person persona most of the time (especially at work and with family) but then into this really emotional trainwreck during the last ten minutes before I sleep at night alone in a big old double bed filled with 5 pillows. (Pillows are company too...they make you believe they care and let you hug them....). It is funny because I do not really have anything to be depressed about but I also do not have anything to shout about either. Hmm..there seems to be a stagnation in my life.

Also, financial problems are a worry. I am hardly going to be able to save money once I start to pay for the car next month. Which is bad news. No savings..is always bad. Means I have to cut down on spending, going out...birthday presents, start selling clothes too instead of buying them.
UG UG UG UG UG UG UG. I hate being poor. I wonder how do people who earn less survive ? Because I am not paying for rent or electricity or dinner or laundry services and a hundred different things and yet it is always like there is not enough money. VERY SURPRISING INDEED...because it is not like I have been buying things.... The money just seems to disappear.
Sometimes I wish I learnt how to appreciate money more when I was younger and saved then..but then again..I think that it was good for me to have that time when I could spend and spend without much worries.

Growing up IS hard !!!.......... Wish I never had to grow up. Being a kid and a student is so much more fun !

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