The best inspiration can sometimes come from the weirdest sources.

Watching Chibi-Maruko, a recently discovered favourite, I came across this song. A children's song, sung at a farewell party, from one kid to his best friend, it was one of the best songs that I have heard for a long time.

We,

Are Friends,

Never ever to be replaced.

Until the time that we are together again,

And grow old together,

Until that time we have to work hard on our memories.

That is life,

That is life,

That is what makes a good friend.

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Well only 2 days from a new year and a new life. Can I make it ? I do not know.

I have always been really dependent on emotional support from family and friends. I need and crave human contact to continue to stay alive...or even functional.

With the Melbourne people going back to their lives across the sea, and myself not yet meeting any of my old friends, it seems like a bleak future. Also, many of my high school friends are either still studying, working or have lost contact, so it seems like I will have to be really emotionally independent.

The question is can I ?

Any answer based on past data would have to be a no. Somehow, I have always managed to parasitically stick myself onto people. The problem I face now is, how parasitic can I get with a bunch of people whom I see almost everyday at the workplace but not live together ? You see ? I have never seen so much of some people and yet not live with them. IH has certainly spoilt me.

Even now, finding myself separated from all the human contact that I have enjoyed, is starting to have negative side effects on me already. I have become suspicious, slightly anti-social, bad-tempered, depressed and acquired several bad habits.

It is really late. The latest that I have been up in Malaysia for. And yet. Alone....

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WARNING : VERY WHINY POST AHEAD.

Other than the always present whining about my internet at home not working, I have a millions whines and discouraging observations. If you do not want to feel depressed stop reading now.

Anyway, I think it was pretty fair to say that it was the worst ever Christmas for me. First of all, even though Christmas day is on Sunday, I still had to go to church twice...because of some half-baked concert for Christmas. Waste of time. And I had been waiting for Christmas to be on Sunday for like 6 years !

Then, the cake did not turn out too fluffy, but I guess that cannot be helped. Gifts as usual were terrible but made worse by the fact that they reached a new low. Let me do a recap. Packet of tea (WTF), keychains with dinosaurs (WTF), a Korean movie I have never heard of and obviously watched before (WTF), a towel (WTF but then I get this every year), 2 photo albums (WTF), a plush blanket (Reminding everyone that we are in a very hot country plus I have been receiving blankets for the last 2 years), some clothes (actually 3 pieces plus belt and undies which is very much a consolation and a pair of kitchen tongs. I must say I was happiest with the undies and the tongs. Since they were things that I actually wanted. It is a big disappointment considering the lengths I went to for my gifts. Have therefore decided will just give cupcakes (handmade) to everyone next year. Saves me the thinking time plus I save money to buy gifts for myself. So what if I do not get gifts from others ?

Next whine. Petrol is effing expensive. You kids think money falls from trees ? As part of the nations's unemployed I am very unimpressed with the spending power of kids nowadays. Enough said.

Next whine. Well not really. It is old. I have too much clothes and cannot really bear to throw any away. Need more space. Will not buy any for 3 months. I swear.

Next whine. My house is extremely messy and I do not understand how anyone can stay in the place without a headache. Lots of cleaning to do.

Next whine. Eyes are swollen with lack of sleep, the disgusting air that we have and crying. Well not really crying. But lots of emotional tearing.

Next whine. No Astro. Cannot watch shit. Or Soccer. Or Tennis. Or Maria Sharapova.

Next whine and probably last for now. Talk about the feel good feeling in IH. Lost. Maybe forever. Things change. I did not want to believe it for the longest time but I am sorry it happened. And to think I used to be so idealistic. Kids, listen to you mother. She is usually right. How long will friends last you anyway ? Stupid changing life. And they expect one to deal with it by themselves. Everyone else is too busy of course. Who remembers you when they are having fun elsewhere. It is just hi, bye, smile, how are you, smile again. Talk to you soon in 3 years. No wonder so many people need a psychiatrist. Plus I TOLD YOU people would move on without you. So do not even think for a moment that you can change things. It could have been better if it never started.

Queen E II says that for many it was the worst Christmas ever. I concur.

Negative feelings around. I feel it in my fingers and my toes. Pah humbug.

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I kinda hate Christmas at the moment. It is quite meaningless and I am also very unprepared meaning there are not very many presents that I have to give away. This makes me unhappy. Also although I have been out shopping today at 1u, I could not find anything to buy at all. This is terrible ! Christmas is cancelled !!!!

Sigh.

Looking forward to PatBear's Christmas party tomorrow. Am typing this across the street from home.

I NEED INTERNET !! BLOODY STREAMYX !!! I NEED INTERNET !!! BLOODY STREAMYX !!!

Got my stuff from JeanBear yesterday and am kinda shocked that I still have stuff with FangBear, StephBear and RaeBear. I think that is about it. However I am still not entirely sure. Shucks. Bought some more clothes today including underwear. Need to shop for a wardrobe soon.

Hope Christmas improves soon. I have gotta go ice my cake.

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Anyway, did I mention that having no internet at home sucks ? For a person like me who has to be continually logged in, I am soo suffering withdrawal syndrome. And to note and answer a question from someone, yes my luggage was 17 kg overweight.

NO INTERNET sucks.

Anyway so far, I have only met up with KenBear and CCBear who came visiting on Tues night. And then went to Klang where I met up with KeeBear, MKBear and by a pleasant coincidence, PatBear. So, there I was driving along looking for Jusco when I saw Shaw Centrepoint. Being the first landmark I saw, I called KeeBear. He told me "Eh, why you go until there ?" I swear I almost peed my pants. Where was I supposed to go ? Luckily he told me I was near MKBear and so I called him then. So I was safe. Went to KeeBear's place as well. And then to PatBear's place where we bumped cars. Haha. Later went to some place "under the trees and umbrellas". ><
It was for some drinks.

Since then, I have been cleaning house. It is a mess. A big big mess. That is happens when I leave home for a year. It becomes a dump heap. Yea anyway, I cleaned up a lot today and guess what I found out about my house. I have 7 computer screens in my house !! Also 8 chairs in a tiny room. At least cleaning up can be a little fun since it is almost like playing real life SIMS. The only bad thing is no new furniture. Well, actually, there is a lot of stuff (including new furniture) all supposedly waiting to be moved to the new house in Pahang. So it is quite cramped !

In other news, I have only gone for one interview so far with Ernst and Young and if I do not get contacted that might well be where I am headed...for audit. Crap. I am still waiting for Standard Charted to call me back since HSBC has already rejected me. :(
Maybe everyone is on holiday though and that is the reason. Fingers crossed.

Also after having got most of my clothes back, I realise, that I have more clothes that the Giordano on Bourke Street. Both my wardrobes are full and even the rack on which I have outside is also full now. I am shocked at seeing the reality of this situation. Arghhh.
So tomorrow is basically clean all my clothes day plus bake a cake day. Since noone seems to call me out and everyone is busy working.

It should be busy I guess since it is near Christmas time. Myself, well just looking forward to what presents am going to get this year plus PatBear's party since it is the only that I can make it to. Oh I forgot to mention that I did see JinBear, SharBear and KaiBear last night at WongKok at SS2.

I need my internet at home ~!

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I am now home. I am also typing this post in a cyber cafe in Subang. Why ? Because my internet at home does not work ! The good thing is that they are really polite and stuff but must wait at least 24 hours before can call them again. I hope it works soon because my head is about to burst from all the high school kids shouting out in ecstacy whenever they get a double kill..... ><

Anyway, my last day in Melbourne was spent walking around, bought 2 pairs of shoes, had pie for lunch and lobster for dinner. My only regret is that I did not get to go back to Shark Fin House one more time before I left. Also that I did not get another pair of jeans from JJs.... :(

But that was it. On the plane, where I usually sleep most of the time so I will not hear any scary noises, I could not. Somehow, the chairs were incredibly tiny...and not very comfortable. Also I think my legs grew so I am taller now. Maybe even taller than IzyBear already. Must be all the long beans I ate in my vegetarian state. But the main reason was that there were so many things that wanted to watch !! I could not manage it in the end and only watched 2 half hour sitcoms, 2 movies and a documentary. And also fell asleep halfway through a movie. Gosh.

Food was bad as usual and the seats do not seem to recline as much as they used to. Even the toilet seat was more comfortable and I spent some time in there thinking.

When I arrived back at KLIA, I felt like a dead fish. So hot and also so humid. And the unpacking process is a bitch. I will not be done for the next 5 weeks. And I also have an interview tomorrow.

Stress.

AND !! I have already forgotten where most of my stuff went, so if you helped me bring stuff home, tell me. Hehe.

Need to unpack. Hmmm since I am at a cybercafe I might play a game of two.

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I just watched Brother Bear. As the last thing watched on my beloved computer, I think it was a very fitting movie to watch. This shall also be my last post in Melbourne.

It has been a great three years and I do not think that I would ever have so much fun again.
Thanks again to everyone who has been a part of it. I made calls to all my friends who were still in Melbourne to say goodbye. It was quite depressing.

If you are reading this, you should know that I was very very touched by Brother Bear. Not because it was a good movie (it was quite crap) but because it had very much to do with me.

"Bear of Love" was Kinai's totem. It shall be mine too. Let Love guide my life.

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Went to the Botanical Gardens today and remembered my O-Week in 2003 when I went to watch the Moonlight Cinema. Seems ages and ages ago and yet can still remember gossiping about an O-Weeker and a Canadian exchange student behind their backs. So funny.

This past week has been filled with reminisces for me. Went to a lot of places I first discovered in 2003, or some new restaurants which were open, or just an activity that I liked to do. Sigh, MELBOURNE, I AM LEAVING !!

No longer will I be able to look at the leaves on the trees on Royal Parade changing with the seaons. No more food from favourite restaurants such as Demorli, China Bar, Dumplings, Samurai, Dessert House, A1, Nam Loong, Cafe Sweethearts, McDonalds, Vina Bar, Brunetti's, Red Silks, Ying Thai, Stalactites, Kimchi House, and even the little van selling Souvlaki behind Royal Park. Special mention to KFC's Wicked Wings.

No more gambling at Crown, watching movies there, buying Boost, DDR-ing at the arcades, playing Bridge or Mahjong, having fun at the Royal Melbourne Show and Moomba, having exams, sleeping in lectures, enjoying National Nights and Cafe, Joe's Garage, feeding my goldfish, clubbing at Spylounge, going to F4, Chapel Street, visiting Sydney, houseboating at Echuca, playing squash at uni, having delicious coffee, Evolution, going to balls, meeting new freshers, making them do things for you (LOL), cooking at midnight, wearing thick clothing, Next Blue, seeing Holdens, talking politely in an Australian accent, using a phone card, free minutes at night, watching AFL, free inter-room phone calls, St Kilda, Mt Dandenong, Tulip Farms, Richmond, China Town, Fitzroy, South Melbourne....... I could go on forever.

And of course, I will miss everyone whom I have met and will be leaving behind in Melbourne. Very much.

I have about 28 hours to go at the moment.

Feeling a little emotional.

Correction : VERY EMOTIONAL.

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I am so tired. What did I do today ?

Let me see and recount for you all the places I went to today.

Smith Street. Brunswick Street. St Kilda. East Richmond. Swan Street. Bridge Road. Crown Casino.
Incredibly nuts. Even thought about going to Lygon Street tonight too.

But yay ! The Valedicts 2005's gift came today and it looks great. Check it out !

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Arghhh, today I looked into the mirror and found a WHITE HAIR.

Although it is not the first time I have found one, it is the first time for a long while, like 7 years. This is a sure sign that I am getting old, which is bad. I do not think I am ready to be old and wise yet. I am still full of childish energies that I need to expend in all sorts of ways. Help !!

Well now that I have said what was important, I graduated today. The convocation was alright and very much an anticlimax to three years of study. Took some photos, but they did not come out great. Definitely not as great as the ones I took on Monday.

But yeah took pics with everyone who is left, that is RaeBear, RoxBear, JessBear, KimBear, XXBear and DaveBear.

Convocation to me seems like a really long beauty pageant where you see people go onstage and offstage and onstage and offstage. At least 300 ofthem. And I fell asleep during the speeches. Woke up only when people laughed or clapped.



Oh well. There you go. I am graduated.

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Today I received JeanBear's postcards from the plane. Haha..it is a bit funny to receive things about 3 weeks after they have been sent. But it was really nice to receive some mail !!

Woke up early this morning and did a bit of frantic calling around and surfing to get the Valedict's gift ready. Not even ready actually, just to get it going. And I think finally got it going. I enjoyed that 2 hours very much, where I was sourcing for help, and had to do some research and had to make some calls to make things work, and also check emails and answer them as well. Very exciting. I hope next time when I am working I will feel the same level of accomplishment as I did today.

Finished watching Ah Wong at RoxBear's place at Seasons today. Well actually it is JinBear's place. Thanks a lot for cooking this week ! The food was very yummy !! Except when we had broccoli and carrots for lunch. :( But I did not complain and I DID finish everything haha !

My parents are arriving early in the morning tomorrow for my convocation ceremony. I am a bit excited but scared as well. Excited that I can finally take THAT picture but scared that it will be SO hot that I will sweat and my hair will become limp. Good thing that the hair spray I bought to reinforce the wax works very well with the hair dryer I got in the JCR. Yay !!
Fingers crossed, maybe the weather tomorrow will be just as good as today's !!!!

3 years has been a long time. Looking back, I am so much a different person from when I first stepped off the plane on 15th February 2003. Now on the 14th December 2005, this short wonderful journey is coming to an end. I have learnt so many things, met so many people, travelled to so many places.

Things I learnt other than the academic bits are like how to communicate with people, how to play pool, tennis, table tennis, foosball and Playstation. Started to speak in Canto, learnt a lot more about Chinese, Hongkie, Japanese and Korean culture. Learnt how to wax my hair, how to cook Western food, how to handle responsibility, how to procrastinate, mix cocktails, eat out well and make decisions.

Met so many great people from so many different countries. So many friends. So many places. I loved the fact that I did try to visit around Australia and loved my journey across Victoria state a lot. Also loved the 2 week visit to the desert and how could I forget my 3 trips to Sydney ?

3 years. So many changes. SO many sweet memories. So little regrets. SO MUCH FUN !!

Thanks to my parents for giving me the chance. Thanks to my friends for making it so interesting.

I am happy right now.

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On a beautiful Sunday morning with nothing else to do, allow me to explain a few observations and unsolved mysteries of life.

THE EXTRA ARM SYNDROME
This occurs when you try to sleep and you find that you seem to have an extra arm which does not fit anywhere. It causes you to turn around and try another sleeping position but then again, everything is just not comfortable. Some people say it can be solved by putting the arm above you head, or under a pillow. However those are just temporary measures, because you would move during the night and it would be a bother to take it out from under the pillow.

THE SCARY SOUND EFFECT
This happens remarkable often in the middle of the night. It does not really matter what you were doing previously but suddenly strange creaks and sounds will be heard from around you. They surround you and put you in siege and they will never ever let you go. Your brain will start to remember all the scary movies you have ever seen and try to recall which type of zombie/murderer/monster would be capable of making the noise that you heard. One common solution is to have a friend with you at all times, or a mother but then again, that would be a waste of human productivity so a preferred form of protection would be a silver dagger, some garlic, a gun, a mobile phone to call the police and of course, chocolate.

THE DEJA VU EFFECT
Ever notice that some things happen again and again ? Well sometimes, it happens that the things you do you have to repeat it a few times. But when it comes to a point when you are only able to make something work when you do it a certain way then you have a problem. For example if you are playing a game like foosball, or whatever else that you play, always using the same tactics and the same men to shoot may allow you to goal occasionally, but after a while, weirdly they do not succeed any more. One solution is to change a game or just pretend you are not good at it any more.

THE EGGS AND SALMON MYSTERY
Why why why do eggs and salmon taste great together no matter what you do to them ? WHY ?

THE 'LOST' PHENOMENON
One of the major geographical problems that we encounter this century is the problem of getting lost. I find it very alarming the fact that it is so hard to find a certain place or look for a certain person who stays at a certain place. If only everything was in numbers it would be much easier. For example if the whole country was in a grid system, then you could just tell your friends that you lived at 35,24 and they could just tell a transporter to bring them there !! No more worries about getting lost.

THE SNOW WONDER
Snow is fun. And wonderful. And magical.

THE PEEING QUESTION
Why do males have to pee standing up ? Because they can just as well sit down and go right ? I have always maintained that it was brought about because some guy invented the urinal and wanted to make a lot of money from it and therefore made a rule that guys must pee standing up.

THE QUIET TV MYSTERY
Do things really come out from the TV when no one else is around ? This is a big mystery because if you can see things in the TV, can they see you ? Will they not feel imprisoned within the glass panels and feel like coming out ? Either way, it is therefore not advisable to watch tv by yourself. Just in case.

These are just some of the things that I am pondering on right now. If you have anything to say, say it to someone else. I am meditating.

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I wanna go Klang to eat too ..... !! :(

Distance DOES make a difference after all. However close you may seem to be, you will know how strong your relationship is when you are apart.

Am so bored and lethargic. I can sort of imagine that I am some kinda of imaginary giant space sea slug, who waits around until a meteor comes within range and then *burp* it is gone. And that will be my main diet just because I cannot be bothered to move to get something else.

On the bright side....(there is not any, really) I have been playing Burnout 3 and as of now, I have finished 102 out of 173 events. Just nice for the next 3 days before my parents come.

I still have not received my graduation tickets. What does that mean ?? I need to ask the office. Damn Australian Post !!! RaeBear has got hers already. Why so slow ??

Weather is so hot. I will absolutely melt in the same way a Cornetto melts when you put it into a vat of burning oil. I will ooze and smooze and become this huge unrecognizable blob. And I will be taken for a huge piece of used chewing gum and thrown out into the garbage in the manner of yesterday's stale milk.

Arghhhh.

Was unreasonably tired yesterday and I dropped off to sleep like a log. Yes in the manner of how a piece of wood when cut from a tree just falls to the ground and lies there without moving. And will probably never move unless moved by some other force.

This is my simple life. (Boring)

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142 was the number of my first house. I think it is quite fitting to have such an auspicious number to post the fact that I have now finished my course. It means of course that I will be graduating with a BCom after my name. While the journey has not been the smoothest, I have to thank God, my family and my friends for all the support and help that I have received over the past 3 years. It would have been almost impossible to complete these three years of university without you all.

My results for the last semester were pretty alright. I even snatched a H1 for the last time, for my business law. Tee hee.

From what I have heard so far, everyone's results were alright ! XXBear, RoxBear, SherBear, SharBear, NiqBear, RaeBear all did well and all of us are happy ! That is good. Also congrats to JeanBear, KeeBear, DamBear, and CCBear for successfully completing your first year of uni ! Now you are second year seniors and will be growing old soon. To EddBear, CKBear, KenBear, AllBear and all others that I have not congratulated it is not that I think you will fail just that I do not know your result yet. KaiBear and IzyBear will be 2-and-a-half year seniors. Haha. And of course we all know that all the meds did well. Good for you KimmyBear, PatBear, OngBear and JiaBear !

Phew. What a lot of name dropping.

Today I am going shoe shopping. Need to buy some Birkenstocks for KaiBear.

Tomorrow I am going CD shopping for Christmas.

I still need to get the bloody Valedicts gift sorted out.
The lady told me to get the logo to her in vector eps format, and I did. Now she says the copywriter cannot open the file and that I would have to give it to him in vector format and I am like "yes I did". Well hopefully it all goes well. I gave her my mobile and hope it goes all right since I only have a short while left here in Melbourne !!!

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12 hours.......................................................my fingers are numb and shaking

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The accident yesterday night was huge ! It was a rainy day and the roads were all slick and slippery. No wonder there was such an accident.

I think I am starting to understand what someone said about better there be happy memories than there being no memories at all.

Had a really great time today, spending time with one my closest friends in Melbourne. Talked a lot and the inevitable do you remembers came up as well. It has been three years since we met and though we did not start off on the best foot ever, somehow we got there. We have had our understandings and little arguments, but I will always remember him for the fun times we have had and all he taught me about cricket, football and bowling, just to name a few. Thanks a lot SoBear. I am pretty sure, we will be able to meet up sometimes somewhere.

Only about 24 hours to the results now. Yes I am counting.

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Another rainy day today. After sending off WoobyBear, KaiBear and JinBear, met KathBear and XXBear in the city to walk around. I got myself a very nice dark blue shirt with white collar and sleeves. Only 15 dollars. Because it was the last one !! Lucky.

Also lucky to have been able to say goodbye to KenBear and KanBear. Do not know when will see them again. Good luck for their studies !!

So basically another five people left today. Is it never going to end ?
Tried to visualise life back in Malaysia and I think I failed. Cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like !!

Results on Friday. Stress.

An accident just happenned outside. Gonna check it out.

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Went to Camberwell Market today. Was quite fun and was a bit like Portobello Road in UK. Old stuff, second hand stuff, a bit of antique, old people and dogs everywhere and wonderful breakfasts. I think my mom would be quite happy to go there ! Then later went to the Melbourne Exhibition Centre where they were having this huge sale for women's lingerie and all the towels and bedsheets. Although it was like almost 70% off, I did not get any, because most of them were plain colours. And also, even though it was on sale, the original price was like 350 dollars for a double bed sheet since it was a good brand. I guess I cannot afford it, since it is so expensive..but it was very comfortable too !

Then had dinner with XXBear, KathBear, HueyBear and NeetBear at Chocolate Buddha at Fed Square. Have not gone there for a year but the food was still fabulous. Had some vege tempura and a most wonderful salmon katsu. Speaking of which, I have been eating lots of salmon recently. It is my current diet, fish and vege.

Yesterday night, went to PatBear's house for dinner, wonderfully cooked by KimmyBear. There was fish, chicken, pork and vege. Also had some cheese and wine. Then we had two rounds of poker which I won one and WoobyBear won the other one. Who went ? Us two plus KaiBear, JinBear and XXBear. But it was also yesterday that I had to say goodbye to FredBear and SherBear. They left Melbourne already and it will be a long time before I see them again. Sad. But stupid FredBear said he did not miss me online...Bleah...Stupid FredBear.

I plan to go around places like Richmond, Glenferrie Road, Chapel Street, Toorak Road, Brunswick Street and all these other less travelled places. Maybe will find something that I have missed. I just wonder if I have the self discipline to wake up and do these things. But since I woke up today at 7, I accomplished a lot today. So maybe that is an incentive to do stuff. The only problem is that I may be lazy and also I end up very tired.

See how la..

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I got an email from my lecturer today. "Horror" Here is what it said.

Many students fear that they have failed an exam/subject immediately after the final exam. It is in our nature to self-doubt. To ally your fears, let me relate a some facts about the final grades. First, the subject average was 68.2%, slightly higher than the average for third year subjects in the Faculty of Economics and Commerce. Second over half of the students who wrote the final exam scored H2B or better. Third, only 11 students, or 5% of students, failed the subject.

I was so scared when I opened it but am gladder now. Now the only thing that I am afraid of is Corp Fin but I do not think it was that bad so should be fine. Phew.It is so scary thinking about these things.

FredBear and SherylBear are leaving tomorrow. *sob. NiqBear, LucBear and SharBear have left already. And by next week, JinBear, SoBear, KenBear, KanBear, WoobyBear will be leaving too. So the group still remaining here for my stay will be RaeBear, RoxBear, KimBear, JessBear and XXBear. So few of us left. And it is not easy to have a reunion as we come from like 6 different countries. Urgh.

Gym Time.

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