Dear Red Shirt : I do not forsee any future for us together. But I will always treasure you.

Dear Blue Shirt : I understand that we are just not meant to be. I just have to get used to the idea.

Dear Yellow Shirt : Misunderstanding is rampant between us. But I know I will never be the one to wear you properly.

Wahaha. Make of that what you will.

HugZ, CKBear. JeffBear, McD's fish burger is rather dry without sauce right ?

Anyway....I have completed my syllabus on the workbooks 3 times. I will now do my sample questions.

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I have 3 shirts. One is red, one blue and one yellow.

The red one is by far the most comfortable. In fact so comfortable that I could wear it every day. Maybe it is due to that factor that I may take it for granted sometimes. I do not take particularly good care of it, and occasionally even get irritated that it is there. I do like it. I might even love it. But it does get a bit tiresome and my love for it goes up and down. Sometimes, I misplace it somewhere for a long period of time. And when I find it, I am quite glad to see it and wear it again, everything forgotten. Yet I also know that we have no future together because something that you can wear everyday will wear out very fast. Or become boring.

The blue one is a smarter shirt. It has the nice collars and the nice sleeves. I love this shirt too I do. But sometimes, I guess it is my fault, there are certain parts which just do not fit too well. I try to get it to fit, but it has never fit perfectly and I do not know if it ever will. I seriously doubt it. So for these reasons sometimes I get mad at it too, though it is really my own fault I guess, but I will blame the shirt for being the wrong cut, the wrong size, shrinking..bla bla bla.....And yet I do try to keep things between us going, I take care of it nicely, I go out of my way to keep it clean and nicely pressed. But sometimes secretly I wonder if this shirt will ever reciprocate my efforts. Basically it is a love hate relationship.

The yellow one is a funny shirt. I never thought I would like it as much as I do now. I did not think much of it when I first got it, but after one holiday where I wore it quite often, somehow, I kind of grew fond of it. Very fond of it to the point I think I love it a lot. However there is a problem with it. Looking at it, it promises to provide lots of fun and make me look good. However it does not always keep to its promises. And it has come to the point that it become a very central part of our relationship - making promises and keeping them... Whenever it happens, it apologises but I guess it just does not realise its mistake, seeing as it is an inanimate object because it does it again and again. I am getting very angry and a bit frustrated and yet there are feelings there. But lots of heartache here.

There you go. The story of my 3 shirts. One red, one blue and one yellow.

In other news,

I think I might have lost my touch in hugging. I also brought back a whole BOX of sample questions to practice on. I have communicated with ParkyBear for the first time in a while. I have met IzyBear for an hour, in what is potentially a 21 month stretch. I have met JeanBear before she goes to Bali and tried curried Cheong Fun..(ew). There is rain.

Study.

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Please save my eyes...I believe they are dying due to over-reading..and straining...

Please call me, SailorCit, and pass me the additional test questions...

Please get me a cup of strong coffee....or wicked wings....

Please let it snow......

Please allow my brain to grow this week so that I can memorise more stuff....

Please let the questions on the test be the ones I know....

Please add more hours to the day so I can get some decent sleep...

Please let me pass, I do not ever want to go through this again...

Please hug me.....

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Just like SharBear's 8-Ball said, I might not be able to go Hong Kong after all. I might not be able to take that many days off and then would make the trip meaningless. I still hope to go though !!!

Still studying !! Very hard. Headache la...

Ticket is booked, visa application has been sent in. Business class is confirmed, leaving on the 6th morning. Should be back on the 6th of January 2007. Trip has been cut short as boss says will go again if necessary so do not have to spend too much time there in one shot. Nothing else has been confirmed yet though.

So there you go, should be still about a month left for karaoke, mahjong or whatever else recreational activities...

Back to study !

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Okay.......more news...

If my visa is cleared, then I am DEFINITELY going to Shanghai on the 6th.

Questions :
1. Do I get winter clothing allowance ? (woohooo and how much?)
2. Where am I going to stay ? (the condo or the service apartment ?)
3. Am I travelling on business class ? (yes pray pray pray)
4. How much luggage can I bring ? (lots pray pray pray)
5. Will there be snow ? (yes pray pray pray)
6. Can I take a week off for Christmas and New Year ? (yes pray pray pray)
7. Can I spend that week in Hong Kong ? (yes pray pray pray)
8. How much allowance will I get ? (lots pray pray pray)

Praying will be main activity, followed by studying this coming week.

Exactly 7 days to exam ! SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most recent score : 75. 5% to GOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in state in utter conflict between excitement amd brain-deadness.

I want to pass my exam !! PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY !!

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This is going to be just a quick post.

Big news. I should be going off to Shanghai for 1-2 months for work starting 6th Dec......... Not much else is confirmed yet. So, sorry to everyone who I may not see due to this, and my exam. But yes, I am excited about this, and also slightly increases my motivation to do well for the exam.

Smaller news. My average score is back down to 65.....Shit..... Brain dead....

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Brain Dead. So very dead.

If I am having trouble doing 240 questions a day...in 6 hours..with ample break time, what chance do I have of completing it in 6 hours with only a 2 hour lunch break in between ? Not to mention that you have to score 80% to pass and that the passing rate in recent years is hovering around 30% ? Arghhhh....

The only bright news is that yesterday I was averaging 60% in my tests and today it is 70%. With just 10 days to go, I sure hope I can improve enough to pass ! I only know how tiring it is to resit for the same exam and I will probably go all lazy about restudying everything and may fail it again so I REALLY want to pass it the first go !

Only thing is, right now I need to work on my exam stamina. Not enough stamina currently to do everything on time. And at once. Need toilet break, food break, water break, dance break, SATC break..... ARGHHHH....

Calm. I need to calm down. When I am stressed I am always eating too much ! I can feel the fat oozing out of my pores and am feeling utterly disgusting...Yuck..

Yuck. Ew. Everything sucks.

I hate exams ! And at the same time, love them too, when I get validation from good marks.

I am such a masochist............

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As I was going through my Friendster account this morning, I noticed I was at 497 friends. Digging around out of boredom, I added 4 recently met friends. Now I wondered if Friendster still allowed more than 500 friends...leading on to the XXX-FULL type accounts. So I cleaned up. Bye to those weird accounts I added in my youth...including "Subang" (So I live there, it is not really my friend), "Malaysia" (Ditto),"Actuarial" (Never finished it..), "1984" (Year I was born), "Eighties" (Decade I was born), "Pyramid" (Hardly go there any more...) and "Club Seven" (Ditto). That freed up a few spaces...

Though I must confess I kept a couple including my high school, university and the "CuteGuysClub". Or something like that. Lol. Vain enough to think that they invited me for a reason. ...... .... ..... . . . . .. ......... ... . .. . ......... . .. ......... . .. . .... .. .. .

So anyway. Is that what really happens in our lives as well ? As we go along, we clean out our lives, ditch some friends so that we can have new ones in our life ? I mean I am definitely one of those who advocate as many friends as possible but when is too many too many ? Should there be a limit ? And if there was would it be different for each person ? Can friends therefore be segregated into categories ? Level 1, 2 and 3 ? High School, University, Colleagues ? What about randoms ? Or friends of friends ? And as life goes on, I am pretty sure some of them would change status...friends become married, they move away and lose touch, they become closer, they die.....

So what does one do ? I suppose until a problem comes along, it might do just not to think about it much..After all, if one was kept to 500 friends (on Friendster) one would probably just delete some less important friends / open another account.....

But what if you wanted to contact some old friends...who have lost touch and are less important ?

I think that is what I want for Christmas. Almost every year, I have a little black book with contacts of people. Almost every year, I change a book, increase my contacts and the collection of books just keeps on getting bigger. Maybe I could get a big black book in which I can keep all my contacts. But then I would be a little lazy to transfer everything over.

Maybe I should just hire a secretary.

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I have finally completed 2 rounds of my syllabus and will be starting on sample questions next. I hope they turn out good. With just two weeks to the exam, I am starting to stress out. I think I can feel a pimple coming out, I have been craving Japanese food, I am re-watching the whole Sex And The City, and I require a lot more sleep and entertainment than usual.......... Argh..... And I am dying to cut my hair, in a way, since it is starting to get irritating when I sleep... need to tie it up because I just do NOT want RaeBear's horrible superstition come true...

No more mahjong.....for these 2 weeks at least.... no more movies, no more goings out...no more whatever..... Sigh.....

Thanks SailorRoz for a wonderful open house.....and it was pretty nice to meet some of my colleagues again. In a way, they sort of become your third family....after your friends...since you see some of them almost every day and then you plan some weekends with them as well....I am just losing out on so much office gossip these holidays !!!!!

Another RedBox visit brings up this month's total to 2.... Why do I get a feeling that it is going to be my monthly average from now on ? And a sudden thought came to me... I could NEVER like a girl who cannot keep a rhythm or is tone-deaf. That would be too much to bear. I mean, it would be fine if she was shy about singing in public...but if she was UNABLE to sing.... OMG I think it would turn me off SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much....

So there you have it. Another factor on my 'Must Have' list..............

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Yesterday was a totally rocking day !!

We had planned for a second mahjong session after the first one on Wednesday to be after dinner, but as PhilBear was bored, YapBear and myself went over at around 2 pm to start. We played mahjong till 7. What happened was I totally pawned them. At one point, I had a winning streak which lasted more than an hour ! Even playing with only 10 cents per point...I won over RM80 in the end... Wahahahaha.... Hear that JinBear ? I am READY for you !!! Later I had to pay for dinner but I still had enough to pump petrol and made it a totally cost free day of entertainment. Loving it.....

Later on, around 10, met up with ElBear who is back from Perth for good along with some of the other friends from her group. Hung around at Station 1 which is this new coffee place at SS15. Not too impressed though it was very nice that they had a lot of cards and games that you could use to while away the time...Stayed there till 2....just talking about work stuff with MaxiBear and playing random games. Lovely.

But I am now way behind and have to catch up 4 modules in 2 days..which is possible if not for the fact that I have 3 weddings, 2 Hari Raya open houses and 1 90th birthday celebration planned for the weekend. I believe I will only be attending 2 of them........

Argh.

PS. YapBear confirms that I am a closet la-la...oh dear. But strangely enough, I do not feel upset about this any more. Maybe I am starting to embrace that part of me haha !!

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I am starting to wonder if RaeBear is correct about knowledge being stored in the hair and not being able to wash it before exams because my hair is getting rather long now and I do want to cut it...but cutting it would be even worse than washing it right ? Man...... It is starting to get a little irritating...and has actually passed the eye level already...but in no way will I jeopardize my upcoming exam...

After the super 5 hour mahjong session last night, where I re-learnt how to play 3 player Malaysian Mahjong....I am so energised...Studying today so far is going well, even though not much sleep..unfortunately though I am skipping my visit to Scope and will have to reschedule it for another day..maybe next week.

The world is not very big and I was reminded again when I was at the HappyFeet premiere where I caught a glimpse of someone I thought I recognised from my life about 4 years ago whom I have met just once. I thought I knew her name and knew her boyfriend who was a classmate, and then again, not entirely sure. Well thanks to friendster and the blogging world, I have been able to catch up with her life and find out if she was the one I knew and she was ! Sometimes it really is amazing to find out all the connections that have happened and things which link everyone in the world together. It feels as if we are all connected somehow. So there may be hope for humankind after all ?

Am procrasting way too much on frontsteps and mahjongtime. Need to stop.

Help, I am addicted.

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Ooh what a day...................had only a few hours sleep due to new addiction to mahjong online - I am starting to figure out how the site works...

Then there was a bit of a rush to finish up my study quota for the day.....but I was nodding off most of the time....managed to just finish it....then I desperately took an hour's nap before showering and going off to the office.

Now many people know that I am on long leave so they always ask me why I go back to the office but then again...I really like my job, and I do want to catch up with emails, gossips...and happenings..just so happened it was SailorRoz's last day at the department. So there was a little farewell thing with food. Also managed to talk to MsJant along with SailorRoz to find out more about the bank and stuff......

Then it was funny, supposed to fetch her to Bank Negara, but we went the wrong road and it was a little road trip to KL Central instead. Then it was off to MidValley to watch HappyFeet, kindly invited by MrJoh. It was a very very funny movie, and I actually feel that it is funnier than Over the Hedge and Flushed Away... Only problem was the ending a bit too abrupt. And I think they cut away this part of a trailer I saw last year where penguins were doing the Riverdance.......But it was funny to see MrJoh as I have only seen him once not closely, in February when DanBear was around, haha it was like watching a cartoon or book character come to life la, since I have been reading his blog. Too bad we did not get to talk much, maybe next time !! Thanks, smashpop for the movie....

Jogging at 7 tomorrow...

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It is ridiculous enough that one has the 'extra arm syndrome' when sleeping, but these past few nights, I have been suffering from the 'stick out ear' syndrom. Honestly, I do declare that my ears have been growing in size, and if not, at the very least they are sticking out more and more such that I have trouble sleeping on them. Whatever happened to the good old days when all one had to do was to lie them flat and put one's head down ? Now it seems as if I must coax the ear to listen as I say, and lie down gently but quickly before it springs up again.......the frustration of it all makes one wonder if one should not just get a little trim, after all, the little triangular ears of the poodle to seem cute do they not ? But I suppose triangles would not really be feasible if had to listen out of, as most poodles seen so far have been surprisingly deaf.....

I also believe that to have any real success at keeping the weight off, I must stop studying. Every time I have exams, it is as if there is this huge worm or baby inside of me, clamouring to be fed, after which they selfishly refuse to absorb the nutrients and instead pack it up in my storage compartments instead. I feel that it is totally unfair of them not to help out more and I should kick them out soon, although the manner of kicking has not been decided yet as it would be rather stupid if one were caught in the act of kicking one's own body and had to explain was trying to get worm (or baby) out of self...in any case, have not thought of where worm (or baby) would be expelled and that would be rather revolting anyway.. but can just imagine self then being offered a part in Aliens 15...and thereafter being known as 'alien bearing freak' whereupon would be able to sue for millions for emotional torture and live happily ever after...

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You know what I miss about swot vac ? Well never mind that my current swot vac lasts for 4 weeks, you know what I really miss ?

I miss staying up till around 4/5 am every day, waking up at lunch time.....
I miss late night snacks...like miso soup/pizza/chocolate chips/energy bars.....
I miss peeping out of my window to see who is still awake....
I miss being able to MSN people even at 3 am......
I miss my super single bed....a double bed is a bit too big...
I miss the sound of the tramline washer at 5 am...
I miss taking a night off studying to play mahjong.....
I miss the delicious Melbourne food...so many I cannot even start to choose my favourite..
I miss ironing clothes with a cup of tea at 4 am....

Most of all I guess I miss the people who made studying so much fun......*sob *sob... miss you guys..

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I laugh, when I think about how am I studying now.

It is exactly the SAME as if I was still in university.

1. Wake up blurry, with unkempt hair....slip on a cap..get coffee..
2. Eat random biscuits and buns while studying..
3. Write down pages and pages of notes / summary of material..
4. Lunch is non-existent..instead...random biscuits and buns..
5. Breaks consist of going online, playing poker online...and watching Sex and the City...
6. Constantly practice new songs to sing at karaoke....
7. Check e-mail 100 times a day...then blog...then read everyone else's blog...
8. Use lots of old recycled paper in attempt to seem as if studying more than needed...
9. Get itchy hands and clean up cupboard/wardrobe/desk......
10. Same clothes ..... same clothes.... probably wear the same 4 T-shirts for a month....unless I go out...

The only difference is that my desk now is somewhat further away from the computer so less procrastination and more work is done.....which is a good thing I guess.

I am seriously starting to think I took more time off than necessary..but then again... who cares ? Not me...my manager is overseas anyway, and I am not really interested in any work that is to be done here...not like they can give me anything significant to look at anyway...at the same time..I wish my exam was a week later... so that I can have a little time to see people coming back from Melbourne ? Maybe.

Have picked up online mahjong again .. proving I am more desperate than thought.. still second place to online poker though..since the players are so damn slow....and the connection gets wonky....

I NEED TO PLAY MAHJONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I have successfully completed one full day of studying. So saying, I have decided to pace myself for about 100 pages a day, for the next 2 weeks, with Sundays off, or just in case days....where I might go out so I need the just in case days as buffers...or safe zones..to catch up just in case I fall behind schedule. It was not too bad. I actually did 150 pages....but then again, since it is just the first day, I could have been more enthusiastic than usual....

Well maybe this would mean that I would actually have time to study the textbooks too. I did not even realise I had copies of the textbook. But I suppose they would have sample questions to do...No wonder it cost me RM400 to photocopy........

The thing is, this might mean that I will have a lot of extra time, so hmm..could use to meet up with old friends...Maybe not this week, am quite filled with events, even having to go back to the office on Wednesday and Thursday for some events...but nights I am rather free....so should not be a problem...who should I call...and then I realise the problem that I do not really know or keep in touch with many people from my high school days...As for the people in university.....most of them are still there...........shucks...so one would definitely need to go out more again.....

This is very obviously a rambling post...what else can one post about when the whole day was spent studying...and eating saltine crackers ?

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Went karaoke on Friday night. It was not the same............sigh....it was more fun with GAVin and GAGord.......but on the bright side, SailorKuang and myself practiced a few duets and I have improved somewhat...so I guess practice does make perfect...

Last 2 days of freedom before studying.....wonder when the people from Melbourne are coming back ?

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Thanks to GAJoe, we have lots of pictures of the events that happened in the last 6 weeks, but I shall only post a few group shots...as I am a bit lazy to upload them. The first picture on top is for our Gala Night. As you can see, we had to dress up in some form of cultural costumes. This gourp here had Taiwanese, HKies, Japanese and Malaysians. The HKies were dressed as Mahjong tiles and they deservedly won the best costume prize.

And the picture on the right is just another one of the random groups of friends....very much like any of the IH pictures I would have taken 2 years ago... Then below as you can see, the ballroom is always turned into some kind of dance room disco. It was pretty crazy and with free alcohol, many things were happening all over the room.
Then on the left, this was an impromptu farewell picture, with everyone running in to get in on the action. It was the last picture taken for the entire 6 weeks. Very sad. And yet a most amazing experience.




Lastly, here I am at Batu Caves (such a tourist) on one of the days with Bo. She is not a GA but she was living at the hotel for a couple of months as well and she kinda joined in on all the fun that we were having. So when a group of us decided to go to Batu Caves, she joined in as well.


So that is the end of it. 6 wonderful weeks.

Anyway, as soon as I complete this one single week of work, I will be on a month long holiday to study for CFA....wish me luck.......................

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