I am so sad. Almost cried today. Actually was quite stupid, was just watching this documentary thing on TV about Australia. And I did not even plan to watch it, but just happened to catch the end of Thundercats and then it came on. And I felt so proud of Australia (weird), hearing the anthem, listening to the people talk about it, and see places that I have been and have so many memories of. After 5 months away from the place, I still miss it a lot. The places, the people, the food. They will always have a special place in my heart.

It was SalBear's birthday a few days ago. I sent her card and I reminder her to do several things, including eating less, studying, do the laundry and other such domestic naggings. It was so funny to have her telling me that as soon as she got it, she put down her chocolate and started studying. Now that is what I call a wonderful friend, that we can connect so well still. Love you SalBear !!! We must meet up someday. Even if it was just to watch the Eagles play the Bombers.

Had a haircut at Jean Yip, and I must say it was pretty good and worth my money. Am definitely going back. And since it is at the Curve, can easily go back and go for karaoke at the same time. The great thing is the shampoo is nicely done, and they serve you tea and dessert. The lady who cut my hair was nice too. Very glad to have found my haircut place.

Sakae Sushi was a great discovery. Definitely not like other Japanese places. Cool. Have been to the Curve 3 times in a week now. I like it there because there are lots of parking places and nice places to eat, karaoke, haircut place and nice clothes. Though I am pretty angry at 3point6 at the moment for having clothes (especially jackets) that I would love to buy but only available in M and L sizes. I needed an XL. The L is just a bit small. Argghhh. In case you do not know, I am looking for casual dinner jackets that I can just sling on over a shirt. Or sports jackets, or maybe even just a corduroy one. If you know where I can get one under RM200 tell me Ok ? Yea I know I cannnot afford expensive clothing yet...thought I would love to be able to buy all my clothes from Zara, AX, Raoul and Sensibilite.............I could...at the moment, do that, but my money is still too precious...and also I think I am waiting for my body size to settle down before investing in clothes. Like, I think my chest and shoulders are already wider...some shirts seem to have already shrunk.....that is a really cool part about working out...when you see results... More to come I hope !! Anyway, so I am really to get some nice striped shirts and several nice jackets...........Hope that if I do go to Singapore for the sale, I can get some good stuff.

Been studying lots but still need to put a lot of effort into it. Dang.

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Another week goes by. This includes a week where

1. I spent too much money on food
2. Visited KLCC, Lot 10, Sungeiwang, The Curve
3. Got leave approved and had to cancel due to meeting
4. Had a boring 1 hour training on Credit
5. Had a good dinner chat and realised that some of my ideas are better kept to myself
6. Lots of sickness in the office
7. Auditing files is a real pain
8. Learning more and more every day
9. Rox and Sheryl graduated !!
10. It is the last week of April !!

Am really tired but thankfully I managed to go through ITSA once. Now have to do the CD, rush my CSA, take some time for CFA, and revise ITSA. LOTS OF WORK.

Hurray for Labour Day and approved leaves on 18th and 19th !! Yay.

Isetan had a big sale but I had no card, so could not go in. Although I did manage to check out Zara, AX, TopMan, Raoul, Romp and 3point6. So, if a good shirt costs me RM200, how many shirts should I buy a year ? Should I get a jacket that costs RM500 for casual occasions ? Should I spend an extra RM70 on squash shoes compare to some cheaper ones on the market ? Should I get that new pair of glasses, CD player, MP3 player, cufflinks, tie, suit, underwear, new shoes, new squash racquet, haircut...........the list goes on.

So many things to buy. So little money.

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Wanted to take leave. But lost the reason. Then had a meeting scheduled. So no leave. It has been 3 months. Going out of my mind. Love the job, love the people. But wish there was more to life. Where is the princess ? The pirate ? The treasure chest ? The unicorn ? The space rocket ?

Bored.

Wake. Gym. Work. Lunch. Work. Study. Home. Eat. Shower. Sleep.

10 simple words can describe my daily life. I am so amazed.

Good things at the moment includes sampling the best marble cheese cake I have had so far, hair is getting softer, and that it is payday today. So what ? All short term happiness.

Maybe a trip to Switzerland would be great......or New York...or Shanghai.

Mirai No Kakera Wo..Atsumete..Yukeba Ii.

"I've got it all, but I feel so deprivedI go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing"

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Sometimes you blink your eyes and suddenly you find yourself in the future.

Sometimes you take a step and find yourself too far away.

Sometimes you pick up a glass and it is empty.

Sometimes you call out and your friend answers your call.

Sometimes you take a bite and spit it out again.

Sometimes you see and you discover magical worlds.

Sometimes you sing and it fills the carpark.

Sometimes all you need is a hug.

Sometimes you get a hug and more.

Life is wonderful.

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Nostalgia is very weird. It will stay away for a very long time and then come crashing down on you.

I was visiting my old club to play some Squash and also to look up my old coach. Standing in the squash court, a place where I have known since I was 8, was wonderful. Hitting some strokes that I have not done since the InterCollege Games last April was amazing. It seemed like once you learnt something, it was really easy to get back into the groove. And then it flashed to me, all the people that I have known in squash, events that I have been to, the museum visit, the nail incident, the $1 dollar burgers, the barley incident, the video games saga, the 10km runs, the games we played, the arguments I had, the joy in improving. Whoa. It was mind boggling.

And then, talking to BernardBear, he had a new mobile phone. It was playing this song, and I thought it was vaguely familiar. And then when the chorus came, I could not stop laughing. It was one of the songs for the Burnout PS Game that I had been playing for much of last year. It was one of my favourite songs to drive to, while rushing down the Alpine snow tracks. And the I could not stop thinking of all the fun times in 401 last year.

And then, driving in the car back home, various songs played reminded me of different things. Even when my dad was watching the Pink Panther movie, and they played the French national anthem, I remembered how SoBear told me that all the AFL songs were copied from somewhere and that it was also the Brisbane Lions theme song. And I was thinking of the time when I memorized all 16 songs. And then the song I was humming in the shower was one of the first few songs that I sang in karaoke when RoxBear was around. And then there was this JackJohnson song on the radio that reminded me of NiqBear. And there was the fish in the sea song that popped into my head which RaeBear sang in the park. And there was the Shining Friends Song that SherBear and XXBear sang at Valedicts as well as the many duets that SharBear and JinBear would sing at K. Also reminding me of FredBear's performance of Better Man by Robbie Williams.......

What a wonderful 3 years I had in Melbourne. Wish I could go back, if it was just to watch the CTG play, or eat A1, or fish and chips, or an AFL game, or a late night poker/bridge party, gossip, watch SATC in 301, eat really good Japanese food.............

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What do you do when someone tells you to your face that all guys are bastards ?

What do you do when you discover you need next month's paycheck just to pay for your credit card bill ?

What do you do when you find out that someone you love dearly does not really care much for you ?

What do you do when your things to do list includes studying for 3 exams ?

What do you do when the customer you are serving throws a tantrum for someone else's fault ?

What do you do when your neighbour changes with the curtains not drawn ?

What do you do when you run out of shower to find that someone has taken up the locker next to you ?

What do you do when you find that you need just 5 more minutes of sleep ?

What do you do when you realise there really is not much to look forward to ?

What do you do when things around you change just as you got used to them ?

What do you do when your eyes refuse to open bigger ?

What do you do if your dentist is really interested in pulling out your wisdom teeth ?

What do you do if you find that you just cannot really be bothered to eat dinner at all ?

What do you do when someone you miss messages you at midnight ?

What do you do when you do not have enough time to do anything ?

What do you do when you have not bought any new clothing for 4 months ?

What do you do when you get addicted to vegetarian lunches ?

What do you do ???????????????????????????????

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As I was telling someone today, I find that sometimes, I can wake up at 5.30 am, drive to the city, walk up 5 flights of steps, go on a treadmill for 10 minutes before I am fully conscious of things around me. While it is good because it means I think I get a little more rest, it is bad that life is so zombified. Oh well. Things can be worse.

I was dead worried today because some people passed me some wrong information TWICE and I passed it on to the customers but I found out the good thing about usually being nice and cute to your customers. This customer helped me find a solution to both our problems and it turns out that it was someone's fault. Someone who did not follow the customer's orders and so will have a problem. Haha. Oh well, bad to laugh at someone's expense but I am quite relieved. Very relieved in fact. Also relieved that finished a big tiring project today. Will be able to be back to normal for a while and so can get some studying done. Have not done much this week yet. Need to get motivated. Maybe it is all this Easter holiday bug going around......

Am broke. Car instalments + Petrol + Parking + everything else costs too much. Wish I earned millions a month.

Big meeting tomorrow .................... BBQ at boss' house Friday night.

Cannot believe some people are not going on holidays these holidays. So sad..

Japanese food is still great.....had it for lunch and dinner. But cost so much. Everything seems to cost so much. Arghhh.

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Sometimes it is not that I do no want to post, but it is because I simply do not have enough time.
Between working and studying....that takes up about 14 hours of my life..each day. Add in an hour's travelling time, about 6 hours sleep and I have barely 2 hours to do anything. These two hours would include mealtime, bathtime, reading time...............I get about 6 minutes...maximum...to post..haha.

Have started intensive work on a project on takeovers. Have to prepare a proposal and it must be good because my main boss asked me to do it and I think he may be judging me on this project as well. Good thing is I will work under another manager. She is also nice and definitely not the demanding type. You see, I do not mind getting a lot of work as long as you tell me what you want and give constructive criticism. Eager beaver.

Studies have taken a back seat this weekend. But I intend to come out full force again. So much to study, so little time. So much enthusiasm to emulate YC and pass all papers in one go. Haha. 14 papers in a day is really quite crazy.

Have got to rush to the gym now. Yes.

That was a post early in the morning. By a stroke of luck I am back home relatively early to add on to the post again today. I absolutely ITCH to buy some clothes. Sigh. But am broke. So broke.

Should study anyway.

Anyway there seems to be a lot of good Chinese singers nowadays. Cannot compare alreayd. Market so hard to break in, I think I am going to shelve my pop star dreams. And concentrate on impressing people at karaoke. Lol.

Next few plans, other than studying are to get a really nice haircut, get some nice clothes, and erm...save some money ? Maybe not all at the same time.........

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Yesterday I received my first Happy Easter sms. Though I know people do not usually do that, it was very nice to receive yet. But then again, nowadays, any news or letters or sms from Melbourne really adds value to the day, making me happier. I have sent my reply of course, and hope that XXBear does get a good job at her interviews soon. Since RoxBear has also started going for interviews, good luck to you. As long as it is not one of the jobs that Mc Tai does. Then you would have to stand on the roof and chant slogans. Which can be fun....

I have been doing lots of research for my special project at work. It is a lot of work and I am really surprised at the amount of information that you can turn up on a subject. It just shows you how much you do not know and that noone can ever know everything. The internet is a good help though. Strangely, I watched the Brady Bunch movie yesterday night. Although not a great show, I can now understand the jokes made about this weird family. And that is always good, finding out about a whole new genre of jokes. I think that is really important because, who likes a person who does not really understand Star Wars jokes or dirty jokes or mother in law jokes or dumb blonde jokes ? These things I find are really important especially when you are trying to make conversations. I think I have read so many joke books, that I am getting quite good at quips and wisecracks. But it is really a conscious effort as I was telling some of my friends. You do not become sociable, good at jokes and well-versed in entertaining overnight. Rather, you have to make some effort, like reading up on important issues, learning jokes, watching how people act around you and blending in, observing mistakes and remember not to repeat them........the list goes on.......

It really is not easy trying to grow up, is it ? NiqBear was telling how that a life without drama is so much better than a life filled with drama. But then again, I do believe that everyone is living a drama. Some are just more boring...........

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And before you know it, it is the weekend again. This week has positively just flew by. And in fact, just a while ago I was complaining that March seemed to go on forever and you wished that it would just go away. But April is flying by and we are already halfway through. Which is good. I need my paycheck ! I am so broke I need to be paid to pay off my credit card bill. Yuk.

On the other hand, I am so totally addicted to this website at www.frontsteps.com. There are quite a few things to do, but I play the games. Very simple and addictive, they just require you to just keep on clicking away. Of course, it also requires a lot of multi-tasking and organisation because you might find yourself screaming out of stress.

Boss came around and said, would you like to help me on a project and it turns out to be a mega proposal that has to be done in a week. There goes my whole life. Plus all the studying that I have to do means, zero time for fun. Actually, I do not even think I would have time to study man. But oh, to dream of passing all 14 papers for CSA in one shot like YuChoong. That would give people something to talk about ?? Hehe..

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Making customer visits are great fun !! We had a long talk about the business and how the company was doing some restructuring, gossipped about his boss, the economy, and that took up more than 2 hours. Then it was off to lunch at a nearby Chinese restaurant. Wow, the food ordered by my manager was fantastic. If I were to eat like that every day, confirmed get fat within 2 weeks. There was like the little piggy, ostrich, shark's fin, fish..and so many others and apparently they wanted to have even more but then it was hard for the restaurant to make such 'good' dishes for lunch. Oh well !! Yum !! I can get used to this life, I could. During lunch time, the customer and us were just joking and laughing about his family, new house, living arrangements, and all this other nonsense. There were 7 people to lunch altogether as we had some of their high ranked employees as well. Amazing time and you can really learn a lot even if you stay silent and listen to all these people talking.

Had another weird dream but this was about work, so I will not bother to post it up. It was not very interesting also, but it concerned going to karaoke. Hehe. I need to stop getting dreams. I think it means that I am not getting enough sleep but what can I do ? There is all the usual work I have. And now that I am confirmed to have to sit for my CSA and ITSA exams in May and June as well, this means I have to study for 3 different exams at the same time since CFA is in December but I do not want to lose track of the CFA. Stress. So I stay back at the office sometimes to study la........

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I had this dream last night and I thought I had to write it down, just in case.

Anyway, I was running from the foyer of IH to the dining hall for dinner and I was late. I went up to the front of the hall and realised that I had to get food. On the way, I realised there were a lot of new faces that I had not met before. I especially could see two girls..who have only been described to me as the 'Evil Girl' and the 'Bitchy Girl'. Somehow, I could hear that they were bitching about someone else behind their backs. They were dressed in those skimpy denim shorts with strands and had legs up on the chair. They were very tanned and had on those spaghettis even though it was quite cold. Anyway, I bumped into NiqBear, JinBear, RaeBear and SoBear who just came back from somewhere. The casino I think. SoBear had had some drinks and he was laughing in the way he does when he had alcohol. We continued to get food and told him to stay where he was.

Anyway, in the kitchen, they had changed around some of the serving places. I was served by this guy named Billy who was taller than me, had glasses on and hair that stood on end. Very weird. Anyway, he was also a bit slow. And took forever to serve. The food looked very good though ! It was like some chicken slices in pita bread with salad and cheese. And because we had to get food for SoBear, this Billy person actually gave me twice as much food and added cheese as well. And then these two girls walked in from the far side of the kitchen. They were new and were telling each other about going to Japanese schools. I was listening in and asked if their parents worked there. They said no and I went..."You did not actually get fooled into thinking that you only had to sit for one exam to go to university in Japan right ? " because it seemed that it was the rumour going around. Very weird I know, but at that time in the dream, it seemed to be so.

They laughed and said no. Their names were Amelie and Jennifer I think. And then we went to sit down for dinner and somehow everyone was gathered at the table and I had to pull up a chair just to eat. Everyone was laughing at a joke and just as I was about to take a bite of my chicken pita, the alarm clock rang !

Is it not frustrating when the alarm clock always seems to ring at the worst moments ? There always seems to be some ending to the dream, much like the moral of the story that I was unable to get...and it frustrates me a lot. This time, I sort of remembered a lot of the dream but sometimes I forget. And though I write it down there are many things you just cannot write down. Like the weather outside, and how the carpet had a whole in it, or the chair had a screw loose. There are a million details in the dream and it is impossible to describe them all. I am having more dreams nowadays. Is this a sign ? Haha. At least they are happy dreams though they make me feel a little sad when I realise I am not in Melbourne.

On a sadder note, I received my rejection from this bank in Melbourne after a few rounds of tests and stuff. So, will not be going to Melbourne for any interview or job. Sucks. I believe Tat and Krystle were going to ski in Melbourne this August. Guess I cannot join them, because it does cost a bit, and there is no way that I would be able to afford it on my own. Sigh. I am pretty glad that I did a lot of things and travelling while I was there in Australia as I would quite regret that I had not experienced what many people did like skiing, Central Australia, beaches and the food. As it is, I am able to relate some of my experiences when I hear that someone is going somewhere. Yesterday there was an article in the Age (Yes I still read it every day online) called Missing Melbourne. It was about Melburnian expatriates around the world who missed the food and the atmosphere in Melbourne.

Me too.

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Public holidays are a blessing and now I understand why people in the workforce look forward to them so much !

It is a wonderful time to take a break, spend some time with the family, do some errands, have a nice meal, get some extra sleep, meet some friends, do some reading or studying, cook a little, shop a little and even love a little more.

And the best thing is that you do not have to apply for it. No wonder many have plans laid out in advance for public holidays ! Some even apply for some annual leave to run after or before these holidays to make the most of it and go for an extended trip, or rest.

I suppose that is why many have already planned their leave months in advance sometimes. Colleagues are kept in the now as someone has to pick up the slack while you are having a holiday on a sunny beach in Bahamas ! But tit for tat, you have to do the same when they go for holidays of their own. The real pity about that is it means that rarely will you be able to go for any holidays with friends from the same department. Sad. But also understandable. Imagine the whole army of secretaries going on leave ! It would be like a strike ! And then because everyone is so specialised within their departments, noone would be able to figure out what to do....Chaos will reign.

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Thinking about my dreams I think it is a sign. As one dream is about the future and one dream is about the past, it sort of makes me feel that, yes I have had wonderful past, but the future can also be very pleasant, full of adventures and friends. So I will try to look forward as well, not be sad that I am leaving the past behind, but instead keep them as memories.

Yesterday had quite a good time although it rained from 4 to 9................but it was good in the way that we were much cosier, huddling under the shelter while eating our lamb chops and sausages and good that it made the bosses leave earlier so that we can crap all we want...after that. The place looked really nice except personally I felt there were too many units to be perfect. But it has a nice location and a nice view definitely. Well, we ended up with too much fried rice, but not enough sausages..and lamb..basically meats...so now we know where the appetites point to...But a wonderful time and thanks to SailorJYE for hosting and doing so much organising..Now many we can start planning our next event ?? We are so meant to be event organisers..

Later that night, we set off for Heaven, at the Curve. It is a nice place, to talk and chat and has HK style drinks much like Wong Kok or Kim Gary but the good thing is that the crowd is older, and richer..and there is a live trio which sings Chinese and English songs and they take a lot of requests !! Very nice, and safe, and air-conditioned...I shall go again..Had more nice time talking with SailorJoyo, SailorJL and of course new friends HT and PC. Which reminds me, I need to find a new word for them, I cannot use Bear, cause that refers to friends before work era, so hmm..need to think hard.

Nice time altogether, and made me miss Melbourne somewhat, as many of us were from Melbourne and PC actually stayed in the block next to the New Building and could see into my TROY !!

Oh well. Small world.

And sweet messages.

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So yes anyway, I fell asleep for another 12 hours this Friday night. Can you believe it ??

I had two of the weirdest dreams ever, separated in the middle by a visit to the toilet, at 3 am..which is also very rare cause I NEVER go to the toilet at night.

Basically I went to bed at 9, and I set my alarm for 10, to go online. But somehow, I switched off my alarm, and slept on until 3, and then again until 9.

Dream #1

I was at some kind of weird masked ball at Melbourne, and I could tell that it was Melbourne, because everyone I knew at Melbourne was in that dream. And we were having a really good time, dressing up and stuff and eating. The best part was where everyone was dancing.....and people just seem to dance in and out the whole time in fantastic costumes, it was like one of those musicals that you see on stage, where the actions are done at the same time, with very good coordination. Then there was this dance, where we changed partners every so often, and it was really interesting to see the partners that I got, because, there was some history attached to every one of them. I wonder if this is a sign?? But then, a sign of what ? Maybe that I miss Melbourne and these people a lot. This dream finished in the best dance of all, where it was sort of RnB and Hiphop where every step was choreographed. Maybe I should take some dance lessons ?

Dream #2

This was even weirder. I dreamt about my GA programme in Singapore. This is very weird because it has not actually happened yet. I will be going in around September or October, so hopefully it is not a premonition of things to come. Seriously, myself and a group of people, I shall call them my dream friends, just went crazy around town. We danced and sang and did every fun thing together. It was quite fantastic and seems like we hardly did any studying or attended any course and instead just like an extended holiday doing fun things together.
Very strange indeed.

Of course inevitably I woke up because the sun is VERY HOT today !!

And I always told you I had a vivid imagination !!

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My eyes are red and swollen. I am terribly tired and feeling really burnt out. It is such a chore to be working and studying at the same time. Worst, I have to learn to use a new calculator. And no formulas provided for the exam means that I have to memorise lots.

Then, work is also piling up, although it seems as if I just cleared a whole month's worth. It is also quite stressful to sit where I sit, in front of HR......I think they are on to me being lazy hehe. Lastly, a bit stressed that I am still the only GA. Hope someone will come around soon, it is pretty lonely sometimes.

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It is almost 11 pm and I am still at the office. A combination of studying and last minute work has kept me here. It is slightly surreal............

The office is quiet but there are people on the phone to India, doing their work so there are actually people around.Am not really feeling tired, but also dread coming in to work tomorrow. Am actually in the midst of doing a session exam....

Glad to get a call from CCBear, and managed to talk to FredBear and IzyBear. Cannot believe how different life is over there. They are stressing over assignments due the next day and planning Easter holidays. I am stressing over my work, deadlines and also helping organise BBQ on Saturday. So alike and yet so different.

I am however, adamant in continuing this life. I realise that I want to be very successful, much like Jolyn or Patricia.. (they are my idols in the office) very successful, powerful, know what they want in life, and yet married and with kids. And still not yet 40. Therefore, I need to be able to keep up with my current life, working hard, fast and smart, studying and being on top of my CFA and other learning skills as well as smiling all the time. If one plans to be really successful in life, I guess one has to make some sacrifices. Better now, while I still have the energy.

I want to be successful. And recognised. And rich. And healthy.

And loved.

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I hate the heat.
I hate the rain.
I hate the hours.
I hate the traffic jam.
I hate the fact that I am quite lifeless. Haha. Or not as life-ful.
I hate that I have no time to wear nice clothes.
I hate that people think I am older than I am.
I hate that it has been impossible to find time for myself or friends.
I hate that I have no money to buy clothes.
I love tuna.
I love the gym.
I love that I am starting to lose 'some' weight.
I love to buy clothes and shoes.
I love the colleagues.
I love my new shoes.
I love to take pictures.
I love that I have a job.
I love sleep.

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Used lots of mandarin at work today !! Sigh it is so important and such an advantage to know another language... Wish I could say that I spoke French, German, Japanese and Spanish as well.

Started studying for CFA. Such a pain. For now anyway, since it is all the theory part and not yet calculations yet !!

Still very tired, and this week will prove to be a very busy and tiring week !

I love that picture below.......sigh.....

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Revising my New Year Resolutions after a quarter has gone by...

1. Lose 15 kg. At least. On the way...I can see some ribs..and some fat
2. Get a job and enjoy it for a year. Got a job...enjoyed for 3 months already
3. Start professional certification studies. Got my materials...starting today...
4. Keep in touch with all my friends. All is very ambiguous..all that I want to keep in touch with..
5. Make new friends. Achieved !!
6. Save some money. Some is very ambiguous...ten cents saved at least. Achieved !
7. Go on one overseas trip. Hope to be able to go Singapore June...maybe September at least.
8. Have a much cleaner house with more systems. Achieved. Much is ambiguous as well.
9. Improve my Chinese, and start on Japanese. Start is ambiguous. Working on it.
10. Try to make some effort towards world peace. Effort has been made. Achieved !! Haha..

I shall have less time nowadays to even relax since I have to study for the CFA and crap i realised that with 18 study sessions, I cannot even do one every 2 weeks. Have to do one like every week man. And if I go overseas it will screw up the schedule so I better start this afternoon. Work has been quite busy, so I have not been able to blog as often as I want to..but I have successfully walked around Sungeiwang and Lot 10, just to try on clothes and take pictures...cause still trying to save money. Spent more than RM 6000 this month. It is very bad. But if I take out the once-off expenditure....I saved RM 140 more than last month so that is a good effort. Still....spending RM 6000 a month will not save me any money especially since I earn less than half of that ... GRR....and this is without buying ANY clothes !!!

In any case, went to Topshop yesterda, tried some clothes and took pictures instead of buying them !!!! This is the result...

Not bad right ? I quite like that picture...In fact, it is my best picture this year. This is what going to the gym for 90 minutes 3 times a week at 6.30 am will do. Plus lots of tofu and vege...low fat food...no mamak........I look a bit short..but then I am short..so cannot help that..oh well.... ONE IN A MILLION TRIALS on 19th of APRIL !!!! Very tempted to join.. but like I said before...if I get through, not being able to participate will break my heart.....and if I do not get through...I will be sad cause I did not make it through...if you do not know what it is, One in a Million is like Malaysian Idol except that it gives you a million dollars to help promote you after and not just a bit of money. Sigh. Banker or Singer ? What do I want to be ? But I think I have sort of decided that I will not join these competitions until I lose more weight and look great when blown up into a poster !!! Haha...........my dreams........

Also a big congratulations to XXBear who got her PR yesterday !! Very happy for you and now you can start looking for work !! Speaking of which, congratulations to RoxBear for getting so many interviews. Hope you find a nice job that you like !!

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