FredBear and I cycled all the way to St Kilda today and it was very cold and windy. But we made it anyway..I think we spent 3 hours there and back...we might go all the way to Williamstown next..phew fancy that...later bowled along with SoBear...am so tired now but will be working tomorrow and maybe watching War of the Worlds tomorrow ...still thinking..but probably..

Aargh...I think there is something wrong with me..and it is probably that time of the month again..Yep...it is my depression days of the month...comes without fail...what is wrong with me sometimes I wonder and yet sometimes I think I should just get used to it...

I miss someone really dearly and yet there is no love ... weird isn't it ..maybe I should get NiqiiBear to translate my emotions...I bet you do not have to love someone to miss them... so well..sometimes the human heart is just so weird...

On the cycling trip to St Kilda trip today, well I saw many couples together...(well it is the beach is it not..) and then sometimes when I whizzed past..I felt..urghh lonely !! But then again...I thought...it really is not my fault..is it ? I have tried...but then again...the right one just has not come along....looking through past memories of my past....erm...let's see..my first ever experience EVER...with the dating scene....

I remember getting love letters in Standard One (I was seven..plus) I still keep them. They were written on tracing paper..very big back then...and had many coloured drawings and words...Sweet but I have absolutely no idea what happened to the girl since...not even memories of her a year later....strange....

I think in primary school then, there were about three others..I have ever even considered liking...but then again..back then I was extremely shy and quiet and really geeky...obviously not a smart person as far as it goes in relationships...

Strangely enough..I can honestly admit to at least one incident a year in secondary...that makes five...but of course since it was not until Form Four...(sixteen) that I even learnt how to speak up and talk to girls properly...of course again...I could not expect much...or could I?

One in college...and moot since then....well maybe in university but I do not count them as feelings are not even strong enough even for me to count them as worthy experiences...LOL....
the problem with me at the moment is that I find it so much easier to get friends....but not the One...and I do not know if that is my problem...or that it is just not a problem at all....

LOL...it is all a lot of rambling...and who knows who reads this anyway...maybe noone but I just feel like writing..why ? of course I dunno..it is just my depression mania time of the month that is all....sigh..

I AM SO WEIRD....in a good way of course... *wink....

Maybe I should just put up a sign.... *will love for return*..... nah not really...

but there really is a feeling of missing THAT person .... grrr... hate myself like this...
but don't you worry too much...as well....I always bounce back...



until the next month..

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