Another night, but it seems that it was well and truly another week that has passed. How time flies, and yet do we ever appreciate it more, even knowing that fact ?

I know I should sleep, as it is about 1am and there is work to be done tomorrow, but yet tonight, there is bewitchment in the air, and I feel the urge and need to put something down. Not pen to paper, but the tapping on the keyboard is strangely comforting, in my half dimmed apartment, with the saintly voices of Libera and Angela Aki in the background.

A key point this week, was my Q1 review with the boss, and somehow, I was highly commended. Great, but sometimes I wonder if there is something in me that I miss, because somehow, I do not always think that I am worthy of what is said about me and yet, I strive harder and harder so that I hear praises. Perhaps that is what I find lacking in myself. This continuous push leaves me little time for much, for myself, and for the people around me. In the midst of reading the book Tuesdays with Morrie at the moment, it gets me thinking whether I am chasing the right things ?

The key as always would be moderation and striking the right balance, but who is around to tell you what is the right balance. I type faster now, the tapping on the keyboard sounding like so many bullet sounds thudding against a window, the adrenaline flowing through, myself trying to see how many words I can type at high speed without actually making a mistake. I wonder if there are people who type with all ten fingers, because i find myself typing wiht perhaps only 7 fingers I think. Wait. Those are just for the alphabets. I have realised that I use my left pinky for the Caps Lock and the Shift button. The fourth finger has found its niche in the QAWS area and of course the second and middle finger are doing a lot of work, while the left thumb seems content with merely the spacebar. On the right side, the thumb is not participating at all. The second, third and fourth finger do a lot of work on the right side, and the little finger seems to do all the Entering. So I do type with 9 fingers after all. The right thumb just pressed the Space Bar, so I guess at times, it can do a little work after all. It just depends on what word was typed before the Space Bar was needed. Why is the tapping on the keyboard so addictive ?

And yet I am a doofus with most computer games.

So back to getting the right balace, I guess we just have to work our way through it right ? There are hundreds of things to do, places to go, people to meet, and we have to prioritise. How often do we get it right ? How often do we regret ?

I write this blog with the hope that someday, I can look back and see if I have improved. Perhaps this is one reason why I find Angela Aki's song, about a letter to her 15 year old self, so haunting. How many of us want to go back or forth in time to find out what our other selves are doing ? Any advice to be given, or perhaps help, or just some comfort ?

And yet perhaps one should think that God is the answer ? But is He not always ? The real question should perhaps be how He channels His love for us. Through family or friends ? Through our own actions as well perhaps ?

God Bless everyone tonight.

I mean, all the time.

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