Today has not been a good day. In fact it has been quite a bad day.

Do you know why ?

I woke up really early today because I had to rush to work. The durian party the night before was very tiring, and it was just as tiring to lug all the stuff up to the 16th floor. It was a good thing my smile convinced a security guard to help me move the stuff into the lift. And it was a fantastic thing that someone helped me open the door. It still took me all of 20 minutes.

Work was both tiring and boring. I guess many people feel the same sometimes so will not elaborate much here.

And then I checked my ranking. You know, sometimes high expectations will lead you into the Slough of Despond. I got 11th. Again. I was not happy. Why ?

1. Highest average was 85. My average was 82. You must be kidding me.
2. Another question correct on ANY test...and my average would have been 83.
3. Super low score, below average for CREDIT. I must say, I believe that would be my strong subject. But you know what, they made it into a group presentation. I HATE group presentation. I hate incompetent Group members. I HATE group presentations. Can I say it enough !?
4. Relatively low scores for last 2 exams. Too eager to get out. My own fault there.
5. People who tell me I am sure to get Top 5 piss me off. You think it is so easy ? No it is not. As if I did not have to work for these things. And when I do not get it.....arghh.
6. Pissed off at the Credit Trainer who gave me such low marks and yet another trainer gives marks as high as 97 to other teams. Life is shit.

Well that was real shitty.

Lunch was Nando's. I hate that place. Shopping for cheap makeup for performance tonight did not improve my mood.

Last minute work when I am rushing does not improve my mood. Neither does the fact that my carpool left without me and we get stuck in a traffic jam in the poring rain. Nor does the fact that my judgement about a person is said to be wrong. Hmph.

Lousy preparations, lousy place, lousy MC, lousy food, lousy drinks, lousy rain, lousy parking. My mood is not good. Arrogant people....arghh. Trust me I have so many stories to tell about everything...but what is the point ?

After the dance, which did not improve my mood. I did not find it funny at all. There was a time maybe when I would have found it funny. But now ..... I do not know.

Then I broke Iceman's Ice Cube. Not funny. But you know what. It is my fault and I will pay for it. That is fair. If my friend broke my toy, I would want a new one too. ASAP. I blame only myself and my rotten luck for that. But that could well be my trip to Melbourne. Urgh. And the funny thing is, it is near this time that I thought maybe, just maybe I could spend some money on myself and buy some shirts, or replacements for my cracked spectacles/4.5 year old phone. Life is shit.

Oh. And the exam I am hoping to take. Another 3 grand there. Life is funny. It expects me to have 3 grand everywhere.

On the way home, just praying I do not get into an accident. Ambulance on one road. Jam. Further down, roadworks. Jam. 30 minutes later, accident with a car flipped on its back. Jam. And in front a bit, traffic light spoil. Jam. JAMJAMJAMJAMJAMJAM.

Finally am back home. You know, in the car on the way home, I cried. Frustration man. OKLAR THAT IS MORE DRAMA THAN IT SEEMS. More like my eyes are so tired, they watered.

But at these times I miss you. I miss you sitting in the car next to me. Even when you were sleeping when we were coming back to the city. Or when we went out to buy dessert. Or just talking about anything and everything. Or when you were holding the wheel and I was petrified in the passenger side.

Sometimes when I am in the hotel, I hear you talking somewhere. But when I turn around, it is not you.....

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