How to take the subway in Shanghai.

1. Make sure you know your times. If you have to catch the 7.45 on line 2, make sure you do not miss the 7.40 on line 4 so that you can make the exchange.

2. Plan your entry into the train carefully. Make sure you do not get in too deep that you cannot come out at the right station.

3. Have a good footing so that you do not sway too much when the train moves.

4. Position yourself so that when the flood of people at the next station happens, you do not get caught up in the flow and get pushed into the depths of the train. Instead, if done correctly, you would be able to keep your place near the door.

5. Again it is all about positioning. Make sure you are next to the smelly man but next to the prettiest girl around. Lol.

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Guess what. My first year of work, and my first Christmas at work and Christmas has already been cancelled.

On Saturday I OT until 10 pm then Sunday OT until 8 pm and I guess everyone knows by now that Christmas is not a holiday in China, so it was more work today. And keep on working everyday, until 10 pm. That is basically what I did last week anyway.

But late until midnight on Sunday night, I just walked around some of the more happening shopping places, just to take a break from work. WA....so many couples and they were having a good time. It was quite romantic too as they even had activities where couples decorate a gingerbread house.... So cute.......... Not to mention hundreds of rabbit ears, santa hats..as well as stuffed toys, flowers and balloons EVERYWHERE. It is a great city for love.

I met MrBruce's girlfriend yesterday too and she was very nice. Four of us together with MsAnge later adjourned to my place after a late dinner where they taught me a Shanghainese card game called 80 points which is played EVERYWHERE. I picked it up pretty fast but it was late and we had to work today so we did not play very long.

Today work work work work work work work work work. Good thing is that everyone is very nice to me now....been nicknamed 'bear' for goodness knows how many times in my life. Best thing was when someone said I totally changed her working life since I have been here and that she would choose someone like me to be her boyfriend. Except that he would need to be a Shanghainese. Lol. I guess that is a compliment ? It feels good to make a positive difference in someone else's life.

I swear, people may think I have a lot of fun here, but I am seriously working much more than playing. Much much more. No time for shopping even.

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Had to work until 11 something last night = 15 hours of work !! Plus today is guaranteed overtime and weekends also guaranteed to come back already. And I still have not started the Phase 2 of MY project because of the stupid Sunflower Project. But I suppose since that has priority, I have to do it. Super CRAP.

By this time, since I am spending so much time at the office, I am getting along with almost all of my colleagues quite well. This is a good thing because it would be totally boring without any human interaction. There is only one person whom I still cannot recognise and that is because she has been on long holidays.

Back to work.

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Seriously if the last two days were bad, today was extremely great. Although I had to rush a little bit to meet my boss this morning on time, I had a great start to the day. This was because I found something that I was looking for at the office. It may be just a file, but it was a very important file. The day passed by quite well, and I got asked out for lunch with some of the girls. It was a very good lunch and they took me to this new food place on the 20th floor on some building. It was a very good day too and even though it was windy, the sun was out, making it a very wonderful day. Then I had a good meeting with Boss 1 and then Boss 2. In between I finished the very very last bit of my Project Phase 1. Also got Boss 1 + 2's go ahead to operate phase 2 in a better way then I expected. And then went out for dinner with Big Boss. Enjoyable dinner and the best part was that he has already commended me on the job so far plus has already mentioned a possible extension of my stay ! Wow. Great. Plus found more mahjong players around. Getting better and better. I am quite satisfied.

TV just showed someone who played the piano so fast for 10 minutes that he could light a cigarette on the extremely hot piano wires.... !!!! Crazy. But cool.

Sigh. Work work work. Can be really fun sometimes. Especially if it is challenging and rewarding.
But the fundamentals remain....my fundamentals at least.

1. Make good friends with all the clerks and support staff.
2. Make your boss look good in front of big boss.
3. Smile to everyone and be nice to everyone.
4. Find out as much as you can about everything and everyone.
5. Ask questions, get your hands dirty doing the processes.
6. If you do not know, pretend to know.
7. Be neutral in arguments.
8. Know your job and duty and do it well.
9. Make sure everyone knows your accomplishments and how well you have done your job.
10. Act cute, let people call you cute names, and tell interesting stories. You never know when you might need their help for something. So it is very important to know when to be kiddy bearish and when to be all superman knows-everything-ish.

Wahaha. If you follow my rules, you will do well at work.

Unless of course, you are not cute. And not a bear.

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Crap. My big boss is here and wants to go to work with me every morning. This is bad as it means I need to be on time. Crap.

Work swinged violently from good to bad and good to bad these 2 days. Headache. Crap.

Plus I have to work on the 30th and 31st of Dec ! Crap Crap Crap.

I need a massage. My feet and back hurts. Crap Crap.

The funny thing was, some of my colleagues over here have SPONTANEOUSLY started calling me little bear. Hmph. I cannot say that I am displeased with it, though I must admit I was a bit confused at how come everyone thinks I look and act like a bear ? They said I reminded them of a little playful bear. >_<""" But the good part is that they are buying me lunch tomorrow !!!! Hehe. Even if I fail in my project, at least I can say I have a whole bunch of friends here now. Even though I am the youngest here, they seem to think I am some great expert....so have to look after my reputation as well. So have to work really hard. Some days I work 13 hours ! But if people are going to call me smart, cute and a bear...I guess I have to live with it.

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OK this is what I basically did today. Went on a trip with some friends to eat this hairy crab in the middle of a lake. Weather was negative 2 degrees today and was freezing. We left the city at about 8 in the morning and stopped at a famous noodle shop near the lake. It is very famous and had a lot of people lining up. It has even been featured on tv before ! Anyway, we also had to line up in the cold and finally got the food ! Amazingly yummy. It was not very clean though (around hawker style standards) but everything was delicious. Maybe it was because it was freezing, and the noodles were hot.

It was even colder on the boat in the middle of the lake as there were very strong winds. The funny thing was, we expected a nice big boat, covered with heaters. There were NO heaters !! So we were freezing our butts off while waiting for the food to cook. It was more like a container on a boat in the middle of the lake. Anyway, luckily there were some packs of cards and a Mahjong table on the boat ! I played MJ with our bus driver and two other people. Wahaha...by the time the crabs were cooked, I was the only winner with all 3 other players losing to me. And mind you, I was playing CHINESE STYLE MJ, which is different from HK or Malaysian MJ that I know how to play. Wahaha. At least it helped me forget the cold for a while. To my surprise, it was a very decent lunch. We had a 10 course lunch with of course 2 crabs each, one male and one female. Though they are not huge in size, the way the crabs were cooked and the crabs themselves were delicious ! Yum. Then feeling very full, we slept on the journey back, so that we were refreshed for dessert in the XujiaHui area. Yum. Guess that is why I skipped dinner. You know, I could really get to like this place !

Looking West from the East side of Shanghai at night. A whole road of these kind of buildings.
Shanghai at night, looking East from the West side of the city. It really is beautiful. So romantic sommore. You know just standing here, I was thinking of a million things that I would/could say.
This place is getting better day by day. Great apartments ( I saw lots on the way), great views, great spots for anything you might want, great shopping, great weather, great food, great looking people. even a mahjong playing population. What more can one ask for ??????

I am loving it.

PS Leehom is singing the song on tv too. Haha. I am loving it.

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lWhat a perfectly satisfying day...perfectly wonderful.

First I had a perfectly wonderful lie-in-bed. Just sleep and sleep some more until around 10. I woke up then because the sunlight was too strong. Just in time to catch my favourite chinese drama. I have always wanted to watch those chinese kungfu drama, and I managed to catch one just as it was beginning. It was very interesting and fit in my schedule very well at the end of the work day. It also has repeat episodes. Anyway, I watched two back to back episodes then got ready to go out. By the time I showered and went down the lift it was already 12.

Anyway, got down one stop earlier, as it would cost 50 cents more. Lol. Decided I could use the exercise anyway. But I walked too much South and not enough West and ended up somewhere else. Since I planned to go there anyway, I just enjoyed the walk. So I was around all the really old houses, and the XinTianDi area. Some areas were so old it looked like it was wartime. I stopped for a while to look at old people playing cards and mahjong by the roadside and looked at all the old bungalows with holes and 100 people inside. It was a great walk. I basically took a huge round around the Southern part of West Shanghai. Along the way, I discovered the Road of Shoes. It was a whole road of shoe shops and I plan to go back there one day. Imagine Bridge Road but only selling shoes. Cheap shoes, nice shoes, brown shoes, gold shoes. Amazing.

Later I doubled back to go to the end of HuaiHai Road. This road is basically like Bukit Bintang area but 10 times longer at least. Walk walk walk. So much sales were going on I almost went crazy. Finally gave in to temptation and bought 2 shirts and a belt. Almost bought shoes but the 3 pairs that I wanted to get were all out of sizes ! Aargh. But anyway, there you have it. The rampage has begun. I hope my pocket will not run dry too fast. This just confirms my belief that one can never have too much money. There is always something to buy !!! Shopped and walked until around 6 and had dinner of Jap food. Yum. Was hungry as had not had lunch. Then went all the way to the riverside (bund) and walked to see all the lights. Amazing.

By this time my feet were killing me after walking for around 7 hours. I went home and now am relaxing with tea and watching a cocktail making competition. Very exciting. And guess what ? After all the shopping and eating and travelling, I still have not even used up my allowance for one day !! In fact, I have used less than a quarter of my allowance so far. This translates into at least 70 more shirts !!! Crazy. And I have only been here for a week plus. I am loving this job !

But like I said, this is to celebrate. When I got home, I opened a bottle of red tea...to celebrate. Sigh. What a wonderful life. And some pictures below. OOoooo the girl won the cocktail competition. And just in time. They are showing FongSaiYuk on CCTV 6. Great !
This is the life size Monopoly game that I mentioned in my earlier post. Looks fun.
This is my living room. It is huge ! There is still a kitchen and places at an island dining tabletop.
My amazingly wonderfully comfortable bed. I could not even fit the study table and chair in this picture, just to give you and idea of the size of this room. Notice the window seats.

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And sometimes life can be so funny.

After the episode with all the squeezing in with the people on the subway, I thought I would have motivation to be up early to avoid it. It took me 30 minutes to sit up. And I fell asleep in this sitting up position and woke up 30 minutes later! Mind you, this is after I slept for approximately 8 hours. I think bears hibernate right? So it is obviously in conflict with nature for me to be active during Winter. In fact, if everyone hibernated in Winter, it be a very good solution to many of Earth’s issues. This is because it will give Earth 3 months to recuperate from the monstrosities of Man. It will also give us an opportunity to eat more for a while to store up for hibernation. Also, we will save energy, food and money as well as waking up feeling more relaxed and less stressful after a long long nap. But I suppose it will not work in real life as countries on different halves of the hemisphere will be unable to contact each other for 6 months a year.

I remember my clothes smelling of China Bar/Bismi back in university and when I started working, people started talking about smelling of NZ (Bismi-like place near work). But now, after a dinner at a Sichuan restaurant, my clothes smell of Sichuan. Or rather Sichuan food. One just cannot escape having your clothes smell of food it seems. Speaking of food, I tried the Salted Fish Chicken Fried Rice here. It tastes nicer than the one in KL but is still inferior to China Bar. So China Bar still rules.

One of the television channels here broadcasts classical music all night long. I watched this segment called “The Mozart Code”. During this segment, it seemed that following tests done on researchers it was found that people who listened to Mozart for 20 minutes before taking an IQ test performed significantly better than people who listened to 20 minutes of relaxing music (eg nature sounds and light background music). So this is just a friendly tip. Perhaps ParkyBear was on to something when he listens to all those classical music. Perhaps classical music (maybe Mozart in particular) could be a temporary source of IQ/intelligence? Maybe you should listen to Mozart before your next exam or test!

Going back to my apartment last night, I found that the cleaners came and went. They cleaned the bins, and probably vacuumed. But they turned my heater off and the air conditioning on! So it was cold inside as well!!! Now why would they do that? Though I must say, it is a very good trick to play.

I finished the first part of my project today ! What a tiring week. But at least I can look forward to Phase 2. Wahaha...got praised for making a big difference here already. Hope this continues. Being praised I mean.

Went for Yunnan food yesterday with some colleagues here. Talked and gossiped like mad. Quite funny too. And they have started having Christmas songs and games here.... !!!! Hmph. Read on MSN today that to get over the blues of spending Xmas alone, you should either go away on holiday, indulge or do some charity. I have decided to indulge. Probably not on food, maybe on shopping I suppose though I have not decided what to get yet. Hmm.

P.S. I drew a very nice picture of a bomb exploding on Paint today in 2 minutes. I have no idea why. Would any psychiatrists out there care to explain why I drew a picture of a bomb? Am I a potential terrorist?

I feel like eating a pie today. Or anything with meat really. More likely to get a meat bun. Maybe some meat pies on the way home?

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Internet craving. Have to rush to work sometimes to get an empty PC.

Anyway, I wrote a lot out but it is on my hard disk and I cannot get it out.

Suffice to say, frustration is the emotion of the week.

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Seriously I think I have to get a T-Shirt which says “I went to Shanghai and I survived the rush hour traffic !” I really must eradicate the twenty minute period after my alarm clock rings where I just snuggle up deeper into the blankets and try to pretend that I do not have to wake up because I can just catch another class in university. In reality, fifteen minutes can be such a big difference between 8 am rush hour and 7.30 am calm empty train station. I was crushed by hundreds of bodies and was lucky enough to be at a door where you do not have to squeeze yourself in by force. As it is, I think everyone has been molested (intentionally or unintentionally) at some point in time. I suppose one solution would be to wake up earlier. But it probably will not help since I would just reset my alarm. Urg. I guess I would rather wake up early than to brave the mass of bodies, though I guess this is just like at home where I leave early to avoid the traffic jam.

Spent Sunday walking around the West Side of Shanghai where I encountered hundreds of stores and spent thousands of seconds walking and saw millions of people. By chance, or maybe because I got lost at one point, I stumbled upon Hardware Heaven. It was basically a whole road, just full of hardware stores. And every store was selling nuts, bolts, hammers, wire…….exactly the same stuff ! Crazy. I also managed to stumble upon the Starhill equivalent of Shanghai, with Times Square and all the higher end type of stores. This includes the Shanghai equivalent of LowYat where I managed to get an adapter. These things make you feel that sometimes, just because the language and country changes, does not mean that the lifestyle changes. They are still the same ! I found some little galleries which were like the Little Collins galleries with anime and otaku fan shops. I found in the suburbs, areas which were entirely like those in Malaysia !

Which brings to one of my experiences. I was looking for a cybercafé, as I was feeling the strain of unconnectedness. After searching high and low, I finally found the words ‘Internet Bar’. Anyway so I climbed 2 flights of stairs, walked down several dark corridors which led past dodgy karaoke joints and massage parlours, 2 dirty toilets and finally found the Internet Bar. It was definitely cleaner and nicer smelling than the first one I went to, but to my disgust, I had to register, with my passport. All the walk for nothing. This was in one of those tall dark buildings in a back alley with bad lighting, just like one of those buildings on Elizabeth Street where it apparently encourages underground activities. Quite creepy. Anyway I left soon after.

Work is tiring. Very tiring. Lengths one must go to for one's career.

On the bright side, have met up with all the Shanghai GAs, and still fun. In fact, I may have talked to some more in the last few hours than in the whole 6 weeks in KL ! They have planned an expedition down to YanChengPu Lake on Sunday for a crab feast ! Whoa. Tantalising. And Fun.

Feet are killing me and would love a massage.

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Wah. Heard scary stories about slash thieves where instead of snatching your bag, they slash off your arm to get the bag. Luckily in GZ, not here. Phew. Imagine if you were walking along and someone next to you got their arm slashed off. Ewww.

Spent more time walking around yesterday. My legs are going to leave me I swear for using them too much. And I had absolutely no idea that laundry can take so long. In IH it was always 45 minutes..and suddenly here it takes over an hour. Crazy.

I realise I might have to keep going back to the dodgy internet cafe after all. This is because most of the nice clean ones require you to bring a passport and register. Maybe they want to check on all the websites you visit. Well, back to the dodgy place. Though it is pretty far....well walking is exercise after all.

Missed my train this morning because it was too comfortable in bed. I was swamped in people and if I wanted to fall backwards down the stairs as I was climbing up, I would not be able to since people will just keep pushing you up. There is safety for you.

Might add more later. Bet my fantasy football team is dying.

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Life is like a fashion show.

Seriously. When you spend 5 hours just walking in the streets with no particular destination in mind, and just take in the views of people and their clothes around you, with the right music in your brain, it is as if you were in the middle of the biggest fashion show in the world. And for fun, you could even just strut a bit anyway as you walk down one of the big shopping avenues here. It is great. At the same time, you get to see so many new fashions or bad fashion that it is very interesting. While I am not interested at all in designing fashion, I think the fashion industry is a very interesting industry, probably because there is so much psychology involved and psychology is such a pet of mine. Anyway, had tonnes of fun and exercise. And after all that, I did not even need lunch. A bottle of green tea was great enough. And I had a lot of discipline because I did NOT buy a single thing. YET.

I guess, I am just trying to see what else is there on offer beore I actually decide on things. I do want so many things and I guess I have sort of decided to spend all my money here. So fun in a way. And walking here is nice. Other than the strutting in a fashion show feel, you are also exercising at the same time.

RoxBear, I think you would be a great ........... I think it suits you perfectly !!! I look forward to it too !!!! Hope you get to read this !

Anyway, I am right now in this very dodgy cafe which is about 2 km away from my apartment. I spotted this place one night as I was walking home. Anyway it is really stinky and smoky and most people here are middle aged men playing computer games.... >_<"" But even at the shopping centre that I was at earlier, there were quite a few middle aged men playing games at the Entertainment Center. Games like basketball throwing, and the DDR and things like that. Maybe they are just people who work here away from their families and are bored.

Yesterday finally had my first good dinner here because it was paid by Boss. Wow. Food prices here can really range from a little to a lot. But I guess eating expensive food is fine as long as the Boss is paying. I had to spend a lot of energy looking smart and interested and wise as he was talking. But there were four of us eating dinner, and I did managed to cut in with the occasional smart remark (phew) and knowledge about certain processes of the bank (double phew) so I hope they did not think I was a total kid who is in Shanghai to have fun and not work.

Walking around without any aim in a new city is a gloriously free feeling. I walked huge rounds around Nanjing Road and the back around my office area. Sometimes pretending I was in a fashion show, sometimes giving a commentary as if I was introducing Shanghai, sometimes singing to myself, sometimes pretending to be a local, sometimes being totally a tourist (like taking a picture of a life sized monopoly board being played which was quite cool). I did take some pictures (sadly not of myself) since I had to be behind the camera. It was quite a waste though since the last four days, I really have been having very good hair and clothes days. This new haircut is great !

It is pretty true though that my work will consume most of my time during weekdays. I guess at least I am feeling very happy when I do my work. Little miracles everyday help to make the day sweeter. Like a wedding in the park in front of my office building in the freezing wind. I think it is a very romantic place here as EVERY single day I bump into people carrying huge bouquets of flowers. Also those 'made for television' type of scenes eg when couples walk the streets happily and whispering into ears, and when an old couple walk a doggie together.

Can you wonder then, why sometimes it seems as if World Peace should be easily attainable ?

I hope everyone can be as happy as I am.

PS> I think nobody failed and that is wonderful !

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I still have not got my laptop working online at the apartment and now it is not even working at the office. FREAK.

The honeymoon/fairytale is officially over. I have not worried/stressed/walked/stood/worked so much for the last 5 months. Work until 9..get back...shower..a bit of tv...5 cookies..sleep..wake at 6...commute...wait for train...at office by 8. You know what, commuting is a big waste of time. Waste hours of your life. You can easily become a zombie which just goes to work and home like a robot. My feet hurt from standing up so much for my project. My head hurts from frustration at people who are too stubborn and stupid to listen to good advice. My eyes hurt. My fingers hurt. I have cuts all over my hands. Ew. Is it worth it ?

YES. I still believe YES. I have got to meet great people. I am walking in beautiful streets and work in a beautiful area. I wear great clothes...things that I want to be seen in, when I am working. It is amazing. Even if it is tiring. It is still worth it. And while I am still frustrated and tired, I am also very hyped up about my project. Something about wanting to 'show' your manager that you CAN do it. WAhahhaha..I will never give up. Just thinking about walking in the cold air in nice clothes can last me through a whole unhappy day. Shallow....but maybe it keeps me going !!

In fact that is what I think about on the train the whole time. What to wear..what are people wearing things like that....ah.... shopping tomorrow ? Maybe.

I might have to work all other weekends from now on. :P

Hope everyone passed.

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Well I think I may never want to sit in economy class again.

The flight was great and it was a pity that it was only about 5 hours long cause there were so many things I wanted to do but I spent most of the journey sleeping since it is rare that one can get so comfortable. The seats are amazingly comfortable. Also ate a lot of fruits on the flight. And I am not sure if this is just available here or not, but I could fast forward and rewind movies. Waaa……probably not, you people must think that I am very backward but then again I have not flown for a year. Forwarding allowed to watch X-Men 3 in 45 minutes and watch the ending of The Devil Wears Prada in 10 minutes. I was kind of rushing anyway since we were arriving soon and I just woke up. So comfortable, and the stewardess tucked me in before I slept too. Such a good life. I think they thought I was a small kid. Even when my pillow slipped a bit, they gave me a bigger pillow…..sigh..so nice.

Arrived at Pudong International Airport and everything was smooth. My driver took a place by the front and had my name in huge letters so I saw him right away. He was very nice and talked to me all 45 minutes of the journey ! First we talked about work, and then he told me I was very young, was I out of university yet ? I told him yes. (You see, I told you these people think I am a kid. I need to exchange my cute face for a more macho one.) Then the receptionist was kind of shocked too to see me, since everyone else who stays here are quite, well, older. She asked me first if I was here with my dad ! I had to show her my passport. But kinda true, on the plane and at the apartments where I stay, there are no kids, only businessmen….I guess I have to grow into the role.

Took a cab to the bank and I realized something. Because I start of speaking Mandarin, everyone takes you for granted and keeps on chattering in Mandarin. I wonder if I should pretend not to understand and speak English so that I do not have to tell them I did not understand that and could they repeat it please ?

When I arrived, boss was in a meeting but I met up with the two guys and a girl I was meant to be working closely with. They did not know I was there to see boss. I guess maybe they thought I was one of the new recruits out from high school or something at first. But I think we hit it off rather well ! I can see that I will be very busy once I get down to work so probably will not be able to write much. As it is, there is quite limited space here anyway so I cannot always go online. Saw a cybercafé nearby though…maybe I could go there.

On the way home, decided to try the subway. I forgot which station I had to stop at and guessed. Ended up walking quite a long while, more than hour. Stupid. Moral of the story is : know where you are going. But I was glad when I finally arrived back. Though journey was long, I saw a lot of things on the way home. And I guess that could be part of my gym ?

The apartment where I am staying at is a one bedroom apartment. It is gorgeous. It has a great view of Century Park and I am on the top floor (30) so I have a great view of the park and Shanghai. It is shaped like RaeBear’s apartment but much bigger. The wonderful thing is that the couch is really comfortable enough to sleep on even though the bed is huge (king sized) and very comfortable as well. I think one could drown in the blankets and never come out again since it is too comfortable. The crowning glory of the apartment is that in the hall and the bedroom where I have floor length windows, there are windowseats. And these windowseats are bigger than the couch and it is really great to sit there with a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise (like what I am doing now while typing) while reading a book, surfing the net or anything including lovey lovey cuddling stuff. I love this place. Though I spent most of last night unpacking, (I think now I brought too many clothes…..sigh… realized it too late) during my walk back I saw people just hugging and standing in the streets as well as lots of doggies being walked, and wearing sweaters. It is just as if I stepped into a movie. Sigh. It is and could be a very romantic place I think. The only complaint that I have so far is the lack of tabletop space in the bathroom and most importantly the lack of mirrors. There is only one in the toilet and if I want to see how I look, I have to go into the elevator since it has full length mirrors.

I love it here. Even if the work is tiring, the life is great. Colleagues seem nice, and I am very looking forward to a month here (or more). Best thing is I can even cook here if I wanted too, so I will not go hungry. Though I have not eaten much yet. After the brunch on the plane, at around 10, I had some cookies, around 10 pm and went to bed. Maybe I should get some fruits though. Love it here love it here. People should come visit though, as sometimes it seems a bit lonely without the TV on. Right now I just watched a show called who is my secret lover where the mom has to guess which is the son’s girlfriend who broke up with him because she had a heart problem .. so touching… and romantic…ahh I am full of love and happiness la… but yea, it just shows that even if you have a glamorous life or everything in the world, if you come home to an empty apartment, you will feel the loneliness.

So I rearranged all the furniture in the place. Can almost imagine I am back in Melbourne. Weather is great.

Love it here. Can I say it enough ?

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There was once a lonely girl who longed desperately for love. One day while she was walking in the woods she found two starving song birds. She took them home and put them in a small glided cage. She nurtured them with love and the birds grew strong. Every morning they greeted her with a marvellous song. The girl felt great love for the birds. She wanted their singing to last forever.One day the girl left the door to the cage open. The larger and stronger of the two birds flew from the cage. The girl watched anxiously as he circled high above her. She was so frightened that he would fly away and she would never see him again that as he flew close, she grasped at him wildly. She caught him in her fist. She clutched him tightly within her hand. Her heart gladened at her sucess in capturing him.Suddenly she felt the bird go limp. She opened her hand stared in horror at the dead bird. Her desperate clutching love had killed him. She noticed the other bird teteering on the edge of the cage. She could feel his great need for freedom. His need to soar into the clear, blue sky. She lifted him from the cage and tossed him softly into the air. The bird circled once, twice, three times. The girl watched delighted at the bird's enjoyment. Her heart was no longer concerned with her loss. She wanted the bird to be happy. Suddenly the bird flew closer and landed softly on her shoulder. It sang the sweetest melody, she had ever heard. The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tight, the best way to keep love is to give it WINGS!

Dee Edgett

Hug Hug Huggies....

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Shit happens.

Just a while more before I fly off to my first assignment and hopefully the first of many, abroad. I guess like many other people I have always dreamed of working overseas. Having the nice flight, the nice food, the nice hotel, the nice travel expenses, the nice clothes, meeting people all over and the fun times. Though once I might have hankered after a job overseas, I think I am perfectly satisfied if my base were in Malaysia but my job would take me all around the world, for a couple of months each time maybe. Perfectly sublime !!

I am in a pretty good place now. Good mentor, good manager. They paid me to have a holiday on an island (Labuan) then paid me to stay in a 5 star hotel in KL city centre to have lots of fun, paid for my exam, and now they are paying for a trip to China, paying for my clothes and accommodation. Sometimes I wonder if I am good enough for my job. But then, I figure maybe they think I am cute enough, (wahahaha) and I guess, well that is good enough for me. LOL.

And then in the midst of all these happiness, there is always the thorn. The ones you want to call you, do not. The ones you just want to ignore keep on coming. What is wrong with the world ? But when you feel bad, and you say the wrong things, some people might forgive you, for some others, everything will be changed forever.

When I was packing for this trip, every piece of clothing was shouting out "pick me ! pick me !' and obviously you cannot bring every piece along. You have to make choices. I must say I have improved a lot from my younger years, and yet I still do think I overpacked but yet cannot throw out a single item. I might even stick a couple more in. I think just like my life, it is time to clean the closet. Some things should be thrown away, some things dusted off and kept nicely and some to wear out in the open. Some just for special parties, some just to look at and some to sleep. And when you think about it, do we not do the same things with friends ? Some just to party with, some to study with, some to talk with, some just to catch up once a year and some just to say yea you knew them.

So for DamiBear, IzyBear and KaiBear who are going to be doing their summers, I guess I will see you some time next year maybe... Too bad, but then such is life. I suppose I cannot expect everything to go my way. Maybe next time. Because is it not optimism which keeps us smiling all the time ? Maybe next time something good will happen.

Good luck to everyone waiting for their results and may you all have a happy holiday.

I heart you.

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OMG, the exam was quite tough and challenging though I do continue to pray that I will manage to pass it. It was quite cold in the hall and I was really glad I brought my hoodie. It was just as if I was taking an exam at the REB ! There were about 400 people taking the exam and I could recognize at least 10 people from uni, but I was too in the zone to talk to anyone. Besides, it was not as if I had ever talked to them in uni before. Anyway about 10% of the people did not attend the examination. Another 10% left halfway through the exam. They could not have finished unless they just guessed all the answers ! After lunchtime, another 10% did not return for the second half of the exam. Between this and the fact that the hotel sold sandwiches for 20 bucks, I was left amazed at how simple it is to make money for students. Seriously, to make money all you have to do is make money from students, whether it is education, accommodation, food or even activities ! But it is all over and done with. Now I just have to wait for the results and decide if I feel strong enough to take the Level 2 exams in June when I pass, if I pass.

Then I finally went for a haircut where I suddenly thought of the fact that I had not had a haircut since July ! Which is really a long time…. But I got my haircut done, just over an hour long, and I kinda like it the way it is now, cropped short with a longish fringe which gives much scope for styling and yet everything is short enough so that I can go out without doing anything to it. In fact, if I just put on some hairspray in the morning, I do not even need to have any styling product. Wax works great now though. Just rub and scrub and shape. Then I met up with KeeBear for dinner. Well it was just me eating. I have not enjoyed such a long talk with anyone for quite a long time. Seriously, all we did was bitch and talk for about 150 minutes ! Crazy. But very satisfying. And the best thing was he subscribes to my ‘turning off’ characteristic regarding girlfriends. Haha. Good times..good times.

When I went to work this morning and discovered that the servers were down, I was shocked. I remember thinking that I would be so bored and knowledgeless without my online newspapers and other sources of information. As I am leaving for Shanghai in 2 days, obviously I would not have much work too. Luckily some things came up for me to deal with, just some things I had to do, which kept me busy and occupied just enough until the servers came back on. Hurray.

Anyway this is the weather forecast for Shanghai between December 6 and January 6.

The Average High Temperature is 10 C with a historical range of -1 C to 18 C
The Average Low Temperature is 3 C with a historical range of -6 C to 12 C
There is a 0% chance of a Hot Day (temperature over 32°C).
There is a 11% chance of a Warm Day (temperature over 15°C).
There is a 25% chance of a Freezing Day (temperature below 0°C).
There is a 35% chance of a Cloudy Day.
There is a 11% chance of a Windy Day (average wind over 10 mph).
There is a 0% chance of a Humid Day (dew point over 18°C).

Sounds great to me ! Not too freezing and yet great to be walking outdoors. I am getting quite excited now too, even though boss has just sent me a whole bunch of stuff to do there. Problem thing is that my visa and passport are still not back from the Chinese embassy and I hope that they do get back because I really want to go now.

I am hungry. When is lunch ?

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Some people are SO SO SO SO SO clueless it frustrates me no end. Which gives me so much more reason to move on.

I have so many other things to think about too anyway.

Bizzare. So many images haunting me when I sleep at night. Bizarre.

Exam is tomorrow. Urg.

Can you tell I am crankier than usual ? Put it down to exams and clueless people.

As of now.. 30 hours to go....before my haircut.

What am I going to wear for the exam ?

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Last part of the shirts story.

Red shirt is somewhere around, we keep in touch. I still dream of Blue shirt sometimes, wherever it is. Yellow shirt found a better owner. Thanks for the memories.

Quote from KeeWin, Dec 2006.

"In the Game of Love/Life, the Loser is the one who does not know how to Let Go and Move On"

In life, things will continually change whether you like it or not. You can cry and sulk about it all you want, but you cannot stop it. The only proper way to act is to get over it, let go and move on to the next part of your life. I am hardly the best person to give this advice but I am learning too. I suppose as one gets older, one SHOULD get a little wiser.

Even if one wanted to have as many friends as possible, one must defintely be resigned to the fact that certain friends will move away, grow distant, have better friends etc...and the only way to replenish these friends would be to have more friends..and learn to let those friends go....if it gets too hard to maintain a friendship/relationship, and you feel that it is not worth it, let it go. And get over it too. For my personal part, I am finally letting go and getting over the 'shirts' issue. For the first time in 2 years. I hope I am successful. It was VERY hard.

So some people were right. Just be thankful for the memories and move on. I thought that was very unsentimental/hard...but maybe it is the only way to go about it. Maybe now I might call it practical and being realistic. I suppose if one IS less attached to things and is able to let go more easily, one would definitely get hurt less. Maybe one should be that way, until the one who is worth it comes along ?

Relationships/Friendships can be so subjective, and it is too hard sometimes to keep up with all the new rules they put into the game. At a certain point, one would have to give up the game and retire. As for me, I think it might be time for a break. Just a short one. Before I come back with a vengeance.

Read an article today about tailor-made shirts and how they fit perfectly. I gotta find me a tailor soon.

PS worst joke to make to an exam-taker told by my Mom...

A and B had an exam. A asked B how was it ? B said it was very bad and he had to hand up an empty sheet of paper. A recoiled in horror and said "then the teacher will think I copied you !"...

Bad bad bad bad joke.

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