Do you know why they call it the Monday Blues? This is some first hand experience. Usually, after the long weekend, one might not consider that Monday was a full working day. And therefore your brain will still be fixed on the fact that maybe, just maybe there is a little holiday left in the day? By the time you figure out that there is actually NIL holidays left for the day, you will feel a bit cheated, a bit depressed or just a bit of both. This is of course a mood spoiler. Now this could easily be the end of the story because a happy friend or colleague could easily come by, give you some cake or a hug to make you feel better. The problem is everyone is feeling the same way, so there is absolutely no savior or hero to give you the care bear stare to make you feel better. But this is just the beginning.

Many people have leftover work from last Friday, so the first thing that they will see upon coming back to the office is a pile of work. Not a very nice thought as well. When Monday’s work starts to pile up as well, many will throw their hands up in frustration. And since everyone has a lot of work, they will always try to throw some work to you so that they will have less. More Monday Blues. The worst things also seem to happen. Since it is the beginning of the week, the traffic will obviously be worse than usual as everyone tries to get to office earlier to try to finish their leftover work. A bigger than normal jam is produced and this will in turn cause tempers to rise and more accidents than usual as well. Things that you expect to have been cleared over the weekend has not been done. More work for you. Customers complain and you have to fend them off. Again, not a mood improver at all. Bosses having the Monday Blues will pass on their bad moods to their underlings and no-one is happy.

Some people will try to take leave on Mondays as this will give them a longer weekend. However, while they have fun, other people are inconvenienced. For example, things do not get approved and have to be postponed to another day, putting whole projects back, or someone is not around, so you do not have the key to the cabinet where the important files are kept, or maybe even the mail gets put back by a day because the office runner is not around to hand them around and no-one realizes it until it is too late. So work gets put off and has to be left uncompleted, frustrating many people. At the same time, because the weekend has just passed, many things have been forgotten so many people will need to re-read many things, project reports, news and even catch up on weekend gossip. This will increase the time needed to produce a piece of work. And since the weekend can change many things…many reports no longer current will also have to be changed. The bother of all this will again cause many frustrations as well as bad tempers.

Then the weekend will result in there being less coffee in the coffee machine than usual since no-one has been along to fill it up. Some will no doubt have a foul mood due to the lack of coffee in their daily life. Then some food stalls will also close on Mondays, causing more inconvenience. The decrease in supply will cause overflow to other food stalls, causing long queues for a simple plate of rice. People standing in the heat will try to squeeze into the shops, giving workers less space to maneuver and thus the occasional accident. Who will be happy with soup on their pants? More grumbling. Plus since everyone is trying to bide their time in an attempt to return to office as late as possible, there will be no space to sit, and then more grumbling.

Things just seem to happen the whole day long and though we all know that most of these things are normal everyday things, they just seem to happen more often on a Monday. There is no simple cure to this. You just have to find someone immune to all the negative energy on a Monday to stay happy. Have a hug.

Well that was the article I wrote at work yesterday. Have so much more to write about today. Gym in the morning is great. Somehow it gives you lots of energy for the rest of the day. I am aching all over though. But also considering going tomorrow. I love the feel of muscle ache. A bit sadist la me. Work is satisfying which is good. I love being on the phone with customers, multitasking and doing up reports. I wonder if I will make a good trader ? It seems very exciting on the global markets floor. Oh. I LOVE my manager. She not only gives great advice, she forces you to think about your future. She is great too. She was a mass communications graduate, yet she is now a senior relationship manager in her late 30s. And yet did you know she is the top Japanese client manager in Asia ? No wonder she got so much bonus. She is great and I love her.. I do !! Not in a perverted way, but as in whoa! idol way. She can be so funny and also serious when she is talking about something. I want to be like her.

|

I wrote this whole article about Monday Blues but stupidly left it in the office. Oh, well. Post it up later.

First news. I SHARED A CUP WITH Ahem....ahem....hehe. Actually more like she gave me a cup and asked me to finish her drink....I am so overreacting. Reason no names are mentioned is because my colleagues might read this soon enough. (I gave out my e-mail..stupidly. and if they are anything like me and google every friend's nickname........my cover will be blown.)

Anyway, paid my mom today. Seriously, you cannot tell who is happier. My mom...or me. LOL...yea..I think I will get over giving money to someone else really fast. .... but for now, got a little proud of myself lar !!! PS IT WAS NO SMALL SUM !!! I could buy LOTS !!

I bought lots anyway already !! Argh...*Evil...next time I shall lock up my money so that I have no chance to spend it ! Had a nice lunch....curry katsu...sigh...lovely.....miss my curry katsu so much !!!... Ooh...and driving along the highway in the morning listening to the Disneyland song got me reminiscing about bowling nights...cause when SoBear drove, I would always turn the CD to this song...hehe...so it was pretty good to think about those times...

I am going to the GYM tomorrow for the first time !! Quite excited..Okla..I am just a little hyper today....dunno why ? Haha...A lot of things happened today actually :) New shoes fit perfectly and are really classy .. Love them love them love them to bits !!!

Ok trojans. I saw the mess. Enough evidence. CLEAN IT UP !! hahaha.... Little do you know that when I lived there it looked like that too. Just that whenever people were coming, I put everything into SalBear's room. Haha.... I am neat.....but also SMART !!! Have a good semester everyone who is in Melbourne still studying !!

I saw a picture of FredBear and I thought for a moment, it was his kid !! (He had a baby with him).. Seriously..it is scary how fast people grow up. Hey FredBear, wait a while...we should have kids at the same time so that they can go to IH together !

I am happy. I realised that today. It has been a while. At least I have job satisfaction and I enjoy going to work. Oh..tomorrow I also have a counselling session for my postgrad studies. After work that is. Hmmm..I have visions of myself being a superman, multitasking...making big deals, lots of friends, lots of money, accomplishing lots, dancing with AheM..... sigh.....

Happiness is a wonderful thing.

|

Where oh where has the weekend gone ?

It seems like weekends used to be the time when you could have a nice holiday before the weekday started. You could meet some friends, do some work, catch up on studying, go shopping...basically get things done !

This weekend, I slept early on Friday night, until I had to go to Pahang for a whole day on Saturday. Sunday was spent buying shoes (I just bought 2 pairs....never ever shop knowing that your salary has just been paid !! it is *evil !!!!!!!!). Yea I got paid...first full month's wages.

And suddenly I have to remember to sleep early cause I have to work tomorrow.

|

Guess what I did yesterday on Friday night that I could not blog ?

I came back from work and slept all the way until 7.30 am. That is a whopping 10 hours of sleep. But I really needed it. The only reason I got up was to go to the washroom. This is how tired I am.

But yesterday was another interesting day at work I must say. After running across several floors and up and downstairs, I finished a deal. Yes me ! So I am working and exercising at the same time. I also joined the gym yesterday. So from now on, must use the gym. Let us see just how many times I can use it.

One of the things I did yesterday was to attend this information session. It was for people who were interested in joining the same programme as I am in. So it was mostly local graduates. But it was interesting to relive the information session. I attended the same one in Melbourne but by that time I had already applied so it was not much use. But it was useful to see what questions people asked. So this time, I was participating as someone who knew the application process and could help answer any questions that these hopeful applicants would have. It felt pretty cool. But I was kept in check as I knew that if any of these people went through successfully, they would be with me in my batch. So I could not wrinkle my nose in disgust at some of them. Honestly, they were pretty bad. Some could not speak English properly. That is the worst turn-off for me I do not know why. But there were some which were OK. I hope someone new comes in soon. It feels pretty weird that I am the only one in the programme at the moment. The best thing about being at this session was that there was a professional photographer taking photos the whole time. When I was sitting, when I was giving advice, when I was posing with the applicants, and basically all the time. What bliss. I hope a good one turns up in the newspapers !

Maybe they will make it into a poster ? I doubt that, cause no full frontal photos. But it felt good all the same.

I am still extremely tired. But I have to go to Pahang soon. Have to decide where I want my electric sockets for my new room. Meanwhile, I still need to get some sports shoes, and other stuff for my gym experience.

Moral of the story is : Life can be fun if you want it to be.

|

A fish in a little bowl swam around for the longest time. All his life he had wanted to go out into the wide world beyond. He waited years to grow to the right size. Today was the day. He jumped right out of the bowl, and to his shock, he realised that he was living in water. Water, something he took for granted, was no longer there. Many people today are like this fish. They take their youth for granted. One day, they will realise that they will no longer have their youth with them. What are you doing today ? Never have regrets.

This is something that I have heard on the radio for every day for the past month. I cannot say that it is not on my mind. But also I have had a tough week. What with regional managers, and heads of departments coming for visits, I have had a lot of extra work. This means, working late, as well as a lot of standing in meetings. Not to mention impromptu trips to the airport...Any wonder that I am losing weight (though not enough) and gaining eyebags ?

At one point in life, you realise that you have to grow up and face the facts. Had a serious heart-to-heart talk with two of my female managers who gave me a lot of advice on life. About how to move forward, what I can do, what I should look to, what I should learn, and how I should live life. I was very grateful. I am beginning to like my job more and more, because I have very caring managers, all of them, who are willing to teach and share. And when Jolz closed a USD4 million deal today, I was happy with the rest of them. All my life, I have been eagerly waiting for this moment, when I will be part of a deal making team, having frentic deadlines and meetings. Yet when I am here now finally, I cannot help but feel that time has flown by incredibly fast. Things I worry about include taxes, further education, EPF, finding a house, car installments and career. What happened to the days when I skipped a class to find a new coffee house ? Or spend the night playing Mahjong as if there were no tomorrow ?

When people went back to Melbourne, I realised just how dependent I have become. Not just physically dependent, but also emotionally dependent. And as I started to converse with parents of my friends, I find out just how much different I have become. I see the way parents feel about their kids. I start to appreciate what my parents have done for me. I realise now just how long it feels when I go overseas for what I think is a very short time. I discover how you can never have your heart broken before you are mature enough. I find that sometimes you put others first before yourselves when you care about them. I think about how right parents are, how much effort they take to raise their children and how much pride they take when their child succeeds.

Being around older people has changed me.

I miss the old me.

But then again I miss a lot of things. But looking forward is the key. I like to think that I am the eternal optimist. What better time to prove myself right ?

Sometimes, you have to be sad to know how happy you were.

|

IzyBear left yesterday night and it was pouring with rain. CKBear, CCBear, KenBear and MLBear will be leaving tonight. Ug.

On the very bright side, I received a very surprise call from a very surprising person yesterday ! I was on my way home after working until 9.30 pm, when I got this miss call. I thought it was CCBear wanting to get my key but turns out it was AJBear. She was on a 3 day stop from Germany (where she was doing an exchange) to New Zeland (where she stays). She was my classmate back in Standard 3 and one of my first few great friends too. She, me and SYBear hung out a lot together, sort of like a threesome. She migrated in 2001. We have not had much contact these past few years other than reading each other's blog. (You see, everyone should keep a blog. It helps you stay in touch!) So it was really good catching up over the past few years talking about life, ambitions, feelings, religion, family, past, the-how-you-have-changed and the oh-i-see.........very great. And very glad she got my number from LKBear. Otherwise how to meet ? So a good end to a potentially devastating night.

Of course now I am really sleep and work has not even started yet. My Regional Manager from Korea is coming today and I have had a lot of work. So, more work today. Must get through...must must must........ must must must.......must....must............must

|

It is about an hour and a half before I get off work. Since my manager is not here today, dare I sneak off on time ? Or do I hang round doing nothing for another 2 hours ? I am quite proud of myself today as I absolutely finished off a whole tonne of work. Well, whatever I had to do anyway. So there were 2 daily things, 2 special projects as well as 3 ongoing reports. All finished within my capacity. Or should I go apply for the gym ? Or even go to MIM to look up that CFA course ? So many choices really. But not one that is actually urgent. I guess gym can wait till next week. MIM, should be done this week, maybe Thursday I guess. So I think if I can make it off early tonight, I will. You know what ? You have to be really thick-skinned to go off from work on time. And I think I shall use the NPE too to avoid the traffic. I can afford it today. After all, I did not have to pay for lunch today ! Yep, another one of my heads bought lunch today. Just one of the benefits of being new. But I am not THAT new. Since I started, another 4 people have arrived. But all of them are at least 5 years older than me and came from other jobs. So somehow it still leaves me as the most inexperienced and with the most to learn as well. Ug. Sometimes work can seem so fun and interesting that you feel like singing in the corridor and every new task seems interesting. And sometimes it can be such a bore that you just stare at the computer screen and wish that the e-mail box will flash and tell you that you have got mail. Anything to distract you. Why is that so ? I have absolutely no idea. Just gotta learn to live with it.

IH O-Week 2006 has started and for the first time in 3 years, I am not there. Ug. But of course I cannot expect to be there forever. But I do wonder how it went ? I am very glad that I had the chance to help run O-Week in 2004 and that I peeked in 2005. But with the start of O-Week also means the start of university. How does it feel to be a fourth year student at university I wonder ? Sometimes, I feel that I should have taken up a double degree just like the rest of the guys of my IH year, namely SoBear, FredBear, KanBear, KenBear, AndBear and even LucBear. Even WoobyBear took a 4 year engineering course. Why is it that my course only lasts 3 years ? Grrr. I think I would have taken Com/Arts or even Com/Law. And instead, I started work less than a month after arriving back here. Sometimes I think NickyBear was right and that I should have taken a 3 month break at least. But then again, I had no money left to spend. Oh well. Gross. Friday is D-Day. When everyone who should be in Melbourne would BE in Melbourne. Maybe then I could study. But this is one topic that has taken so much discussing so much it is now disgusting. Haha. Lame Joke.

It is Visit HK Year 2006. I want to go. But I probably will be unable to take leave until December. And even then, I would be saving them to study for my CFA exam on December 2. So might not have much leave left ? Arghh….. However, if I am unable to take Level 2 in June 2007 (assuming I pass Level 1) I would have a year off studying. That is not good. My brain will rust. So whoever who is still doing some Finance subjects in uni should ask me questions so that my brain feels exercised. Hehe. I think I will be sent to Singapore around August and September for about a month for training. But noone I know will be there anyway. Interesting thing I found out. Well remember when I represented my state for public speaking ? One of the other competitors, the girl from Sabah is now a singer who is gonna perform in the Opera performance recently shown in the papers. Imagine. She became an artiste. Now if only I could too. Fat chance though. I found out that I sound bad on recording because I slur my words when I sing. Sorta like Jay Chou but 1000 times worse. Have to work on my diction. Weird that it does not happen when I am talking.

ONLY 40 MINUTES TO GO !!

OK. I made it home. Took an hour but that was considered good already. At home, and I missed the thunderstorm. I guess everything is alright..or is it ?

|

Where did all the time go ? I was just going into my friendster (which has seriously lagged in updates since I finished my 50 photo quota...) and reading through all the testimonials. Haha..so touching, so nostalgic. Then when I finished mine I started reading other people's testimonials. It is quite amazing to read stuff about someone you know posted by others. You try to remember if they have ever been like that ? Were they really that nice ? Were they really that fun ? I thought they were smarter ? They already had a girlfriend ? They were married ??!?!! Questions run through your mind. The friend you thought you knew, actually has so many secret lives. Quite logical, considering with each group of friends you might have a different personality. But then you wonder, which is the real person that you know ?

Even my testimonials. How different can you get ? My first testimonial all the way up to the most recent one. I do not honestly think I have changed much but it seems otherwise. What do people think about when they think of you ? Which you do they know ? Is it the real you ? Should you have an original personality and have many other clones ? Or does one really have no real personality ? Because I am sure, even in front of your parents you would have a certain way to act. Is life just about being an actor ? In hundreds of different roles ? Trying and fitting on each one to see which one fits you best ? I could write a book just asking questions.

Listening to BoA's "Everlast"....gets you thinking. Very inspirational. And yet sad at the same time. How could anything you know last forever ? Love ? Friendship ? Memories ? Someone sent me a post which said time will make you forget everything. What if there were things you did not want to forget ? Could you choose ? Or even store them in an archive ? Why is life so complicated ?

Yesterday, I had bak kut teh.
Last week, I worked a 14 hour day.
A fortnight ago, I got my first formal wages.
A month ago, I started work.
2 months ago, I graduated from university.
3 months ago, I was in my last swot vacation.
7 months ago, I turned 21.
A year ago, I started my last year in uni.
4 years ago, I received my SPM results.
9 years ago, I got my UPSR results.
12 years ago, I made my first great friends, friends that you could keep for a long time.
15 years ago, I finished with kindergarten.
18 years ago, I wet my bed.
21 years ago, I was born.

It is extremely scary to think of all the time that has passed, of all the things that have changed, all the experiences you would have had, all the hundreds of clothes that you would have worn, the tonnes of food that you have eaten, all the people that have come in and out of your life and all the things that you would have learnt by now.

It is a very sentimental weekend. I have already met up with KaiBear, JinBear, CCBear, KenBear, CKBear, KeeBear and IzyBear. And that will probably be that. Once they all go back to Melbourne, I guess, it is really time to find something else to do. What is the good of brooding ?
But then again, I know I will miss them.

When you think about it, the heart must be a really powerful organ. What with friends that I have left behind in Melbourne, and friends that will be going to Melbourne, how many shocks can the heart take and still function ? I am still alive. But yet, you know one day, it will stop beating. Until then, of course, you must always try your best to be happy. Because you never know when that day will be.

Unless you commit suicide...which is dumb.

You notice that this post could have ended with every paragraph ? And yet I still go on. But each time, there is a profound row of wise words to end it. Hehe. I am in a very typpity mood, that is why. And BoA is still singing. I love you all. (Yea, yea yea....people that I am thinking of...that is..)

hUgZ.....

Someone should set up a centre where depressed people can get free hugs ! With a good cup of coffee and some chocolate cake. That would certainly cheer anyone up !

|

Well after some careful research I have discovered I am not so far from the top of the corporate ladder after all.

Let us see --

1. KeeWin - New Recruit
2. Rachel - Assistant Relationship Manager
3. Jolyn - Senior Relationship Manager
4. Gary - Head, MNC Client Relationships
5. Peter C - Head, Global Corporates Client Relationships
6. Peter V - Head, SEA Client Relationships
7. Diana - Group Head, Global Corporates Client Relationships
8. Alex - Group Head, Wholesale Banking
9. Mike - CEO, Wholesale Banking
10. Kai - Group Exec Director
11. Mervyn - Group CEO

So I am only 10 steps away. Of course, I did not count all the deputy heads and things like that and I am also sure you cannot really move up in a straight line but it is a comforting thought that I might reach the top in 30 years. So, 3 years every step is the next plan.

Somehow, many people in the office are wearing cufflinks. Are they making a comeback ? I was really surprised because this item of accessory is even more useless than the necktie. But of course I cannot be outdone. I found out that my dad had a whole lot of cufflinks squirreled away. So he gave them to me. According to my mom, my dad was quite a fashionable person 15 years ago. (He does not bother much now, cause he is now in the "I can wear batik shirts and no accessories to dinner" stage). All is good for me, because I now have lots of expensive silk ties, tiepins, cufflinks and other male accessories. Yay. Some of them are even gold-plated and have semi-precious stones. Woohoo... instant accessory collection ! So I wore these pair of fantastic cufflinks, (gold circles with a big deep blue stone in each) with my dark blue shirt with white collar and sleeves for my annual staff dinner. My colleagues did not recognise me ! Well, of course. I brought a whole bag of stuff you see. Only my pants and shoes were the same. I put my contacts on and washed my hair and then blow it and gel it...and spray it too so that it stays...And of course all the various accessories, expensive watch, rings.... everything....hehe...now that they have seen me once in my alter ego, they will have lots to talk about in the office. Oh, annual dinner was really fun. Met lots of people, free flow of food and drinks...games, and it was all Egyptian themed. Very fun.

Funny thing is, the event management company was run by these two guys from my highschool, one Joel and a Eugene. They are both a year ahead of me but I know Joel particularly well since we played squash together for a very long time. So yea, no free gifts or anything but it was good to have him see me dressed up. More positive talk among old school mates.

Oh .. did you know that positive talk is very important. Everyday, we are sent e-mails about news articles that the bank has been involved in and whether how much it adds to our reputation or takes away. So it is important to have positive gossip going around. HEHE.

Had a nice time today. Went to eat bak kut teh for the second time this year with CKBear, KeeBear and KaiBear. Then had another session of 3 person mahjong. There seems to be more rules everytime I play. It is quite frustrating. But this made us late for the karaoke session with JinBear and KimBear. JinBear was NOT happy. But she was only 12 minutes late and the cancelled the room. That is not fair. But we had a nice time just talking the afternoon away. They are all leaving this week. I told my manager that I would be quite free to work nights after this week cause all my friends have left. She told that was a good thing so I could spend more time with her !!! Haha...working...

Sigh. I AM getting older and more mature too I guess. Only realised it when I went out today. My views on many things have changed. Sigh. Arghh.. DO NOT WANT TO BE OLD UNCLE !!!
I will try my best. Meanwhile shock of shocks. Only halfway through the month and I have already spent almost RM1000. This is going to mean bad news for my budgeting. How will I pay for my studying fees !??? Need to cut down. No more going on because it is a drain on toll, parking, food, petrol, time to be spent studying and everything else too. Sigh. And I was already not buying any clothes ?!! I do not understand !?!?!? Where has all my money gone ??

I am so tired. I plan to sleep at 11pm tonight. Even though it is a weekend. I do not think my body can take it very much. It is very physically tired. Goodnight.

|

Miserability. Is that really a word ?

One supposes that I am unhappy. But that is not true. I quite enjoy the job, learning and actually doing stuff. I suppose the main problem is the lifestyle. One just cannot revert to another lifestyle that quickly in a short span of time. From time to time, especially those wonderful moments when I am alone in the car and yet surrounded by a crowd of other people in a similar situation, I fall into a daydream of random memories.

Like ..

1. Staying at FredBear's apartment over a whole winter
2. Going to the Royal Melbourne Show
3. Experiencing O-week
4. Running for O-week
5. Playing bridge for a few hours on Wadham 2
6. Looking at a mango mousse birthday cake for the twentieth time
7. Scrolling through all the phone numbers of karaoke joints in Melbourne
8. Cooking randomly at 301
9. Walking to 7-11 at 3 am with ParkyBear
10. Bowling at Chadstone
11. Putting TasBear's bed in the showers at West Wing
12. Shutting up RossiMeow in the Wadham lift
13. Going to Mount Dandenong
14. Winning at Crown Casino
15. Experiencing Central Australia, Adelaide, Sydney, Victoria, Canberra
16. Waiting for a train for 3 hours with ParkyBear in the middle of nowhere
17. Exploring new areas in Melbourne by foot, tram and car
18. Going to the Royal Art Center
19. Making faces on TV at Fed Square
20. Doing self help in the IH Kitchen and imagining a war with the plates
21. My first Commencement Dinner
22. My last Valedict's Dinner
23. Hiding in my Greycourt room for a week
24. Going to university society meetings
25. Doing odd jobs for Dot
26. Learning Japanese and meeting Japanese people for the first time
27. Learning to play pool
28. Trying to play foosball
29. Swimming at Docklands
30. Playing real mahjong with real Hongkies
31. Living in Australian homes for a month
32. Driving around Sydney at 3 am with Star Wars music
33. Eating kangaroo meat
34. Buying a computer
35. Buying my first item of clothing in Westfield's Giordano
36. Picnics at the Royal Botanical Gardens
37. Eating cakes at St Kilda
38. Eating Vietnamese at Richmond
39. Eating Greek at Stalactites
40. Eating Italian at Lygon
41. Eating Lebanese at Sydney Road
42. Eating Thai at Spring
43. Eating Chinese food at more than 50 different restaurants
44. Eating pies
45. Paying 65 dollars for a Japanese meal at Chinatown
46. Walking around Canberra by foot for a whole day
47. Going to a Aussie football game
48. Betting on an Aussie football game and winning
49. Winning on the Royal Melbourne Cup
50. 3 Moomba firework shows, 3 groups of friends
51. My giant dice
52. Having salmon everyday for a week
53. Playing football for college
54. Drinking games in the corridor
55. Staying on the Houseboat for a week
56. Working as a pamphlet deliverer for a day
57. Earning less over 3 years than the cost of my work visa
58. Taking photos
59. Skiing for a week
60. Walking home after 12 glasses of wine
61. Attending IH Balls
62. 3 hour long internal phone calls
63. Attending 100 birthday parties over 3 years
64. Day long shopping trips to look for presents
65. Stargazing at Princes’ Park
66. Touching an Aboriginal Man
67. Go-Karting at Sunshine on my birthday
68. Leading a tai-tai life for a few weeks
69. Sleeping in classes for a year
70. Finding out the best toilet in the university
71. Discovering that Copland chairs were made to sleep in
72. Tai-boxing classes
73. The Spanish festival at Bridge Road
74. Pub crawl
75. Indomee
76. Learning how to use a Playstation
77. Burning out for a week
78. Staying at College Square by myself for 2 weeks
79. Learning to hate maths
80. Trying on 4000 dollar jackets at Bridge Road
81. Walking the runway on Italian NN
82. Dancing on China NN, Greek NN
83. Buying my first mobile phone
84. Learning how to choose pokie machines
85. Watching Chinese movies at the cinema
86. Learning how to mix cocktail and work a bar
87. Trying on 7,000 dollar shirts at Chapel
88. Clubbing
89. Starting my blog
90. Driving around the city at night to find food
91. Going to Gold City in Ballarat
92. Receiving a total of 23 soft toys for 3 birthdays
93. Appreciating good coffee and big breakfasts
94. Singing at the Sydney Opera house toilets
95. Buying 14 pairs of shoes
96. Discovering I received a scholarship by accident
97. Nurturing an Aussie accent
98. Finding out about my OCD disease
99. Sleeping for 18 hours a day
100. Meeting some of the greatest people in the world, and making friends with them.

(Notice my delectable English....courtesy of a timely reminder that I am starting to sound like a Malaysian.)

|

Today I recorded 14 hours at my office. And actually I am still doing work but from home.

I am such a zombie. When I drive to and from work, I just stare ahead and let my subconscious drive me home. By the way, from my house to where I park is exactly 25 km. My arms turn the steering the slightest bit, and my foot never leaves the pedal. Of course by the time I leave my office, most people would have gone home and the traffic jam would have finished anyway. So not much cars on the road already. Meanwhile I have not joined the gym. Not due to laziness but because I am really wondering will I have time after work to go ?

I would also like to tell everyone who reads my blog that I am not really a hater of Valentine's Day. I just did not have a good day. Please go ahead and celebrate. Just not in the middle of the road. Hell, if I had someone to hold, I would not have cared if I was in the middle of the road either. But I had noone. So forgive me for being a small grinch. But yes, I hope to celebrate it some year soon.

Argh too much work means not enough sleep and short post.

I skipped dinner and lunch was tofu. WHY IS THE WEIGHT NOT GOING DOWN ?

|

Thoughts of the day.

5.30 am - 30 minutes more. Ug. 30 minutes more.

6.15 am - Shit !!!

6.30 am - Where is the hairdryer ? What colour shirt today ? Black pants.

7.00 am - Why the hell so jam ????

7.45 am - Wah ! Big truck of flowers. Oh. Valentine's Day. So jam cause everyone wants to go office first to put their flowers down. It is weird that the person you love might not be the prettiest or the handsomest but they always make you smile when you see them. Ah. Nice happy thought to start the day.

8.15 am - Ug. Long day ahead. Stupid people cross road never look left.

11.30 am - No more work. Boring. Surf net. Shit, customer call !!

12.00 pm - Bloody bank needs RM250 just to open bank account. Must come back tomorrow.

12.10 pm - Why is JinBear calling me ?

3.30 pm - I am so gonna fall asleep soon.

5.45 pm - 15 more minutes can go home !! Stupid rain. Sure jam afterwards. CFA costs sooo much !!

5.59 pm - This much work by tomorrow morning. Shit Shit Shit Shit. No need to go home tonight.

6.30 pm - I am gonna die. Thanks CKBear for the SMS. Else I think I jump out the toilet window.

7.00 pm - I am never gonna finish this. Stupid boss already go home, never tell me !

7.45 pm - 2 coffees already.. Should I have another one ? Falling asleep.

8.30 pm - Cannot finish wan lar !!! Still bloody raining.

9.00 pm - Oh well, at least I am no longer hungry. Stupid rain. Stupid Valentine's Day. Stupid Stupid.

9.15pm - Oh go home and come back tomorrow la. Will start work at 8 am anyway. They should SOO pay me more. Jam ar ? Stupid. Why are you holding hands and walking in the middle of the road ? Want to die together issit !?!?!!?!? Stop holding your freaking hands ! OMG. Another pair. You people got death wish issit. It is Valentine's Day, not die together day la ! OMG they are everywhere. Fact : Malaysian people are stupid.

9.45 pm - Home. No more hot water to bathe? Shit. Shit. Stupid Valentine's Day.

10.30 pm - Tofu and vege for dinner too? Serious ?? Well. Not hungry anyway.

10.45 pm - Blog first la. Stupid Valentine's Day. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

11.00 pm - I want to hold someone's hand........Stupid Valentine's Day.

11.01 pm - ZzzZZZzZzZzzzZZzzStupid Valentine's DayzzzzZZzZZzZzZzzzz

|

Bleurgh. My heart is beating very fast. My eyes are red, my face is blushing rosy red. It is the eve of Valentine's Day.

Guess what happened ?

Nothing much really. Basically my whole department went down to the pub next door to celebrate the chief's birthday. We had cake, finger food and dips. And of course, we had our drinks too. Compulsory ! But paid for by Chief of course. Apparently, all the people at my department are good at singing and drinking. Reason being because we are in client relationships, we have to be able to entertain our clients, taking them to dinner, karaoke and pubs. A lot of business gets done that way. I of course went through the newcomer's trial. But of course, thanks to FredBear and SoBear I was up for the challenge. What challenge ? Downing two mugs of beer in 2 gulps. They were impressed. But of course I was smart and already had 2 ice lemon teas and a whole lot of finger food and cake so that I would be fine. With that amount of food in me, 2 beers are nothing. But it was good fun and great to be synergised with the team.

Nevertheless, now I am stuck at the office, because I am waiting for the effects of the alcohol to wear off. No way am I stupid enough to drive under influence. This just means I do a bit more work lor.

It was great though and I found out things about my colleagues I would not have known if I had not joined them. For example, how one manager's wife had passed away due to cancer and his new wife was very understanding. Or how another manager likes to take off her shoes and jump on the chairs. Or how an assistant manager was hyper drinking, she is the youngest as well. Besides me of course. I was quite surprised that a whole lot of flirting goes on around the table. Mind you, these people are all married. But the jokes flying around were quite crude and I cringed at some of them. Of course being the youngest I got teased a lot too. But I would rather be the youngest than anything else. I still get to act cute in front of everyone. And therefore get unusually lots of praise and thanks whenever I do something. I think acting cute is a good skill to have. Usually the ladies have it, that is why they get a lot of things their way in the office. But watch out, I am good too. *Giggle.

JeanBear got my room. It has a double bed in it. Not fair. I wish I could have had one too. But oh well. Same apartment, new tenants. This of course means that it will find a new identity. Oh but I hope the apartment misses me sometimes. I spent lots of time talking to it and cleaning it. I got a double bed now anyway and I love it. Sometimes I wonder how I got through sleeping on a single bed while I was at IH. But I guess I just made do.

Countdown is one week before almost everyone is back at Melbourne. Dark times ahead. But wishing everyone well of course. Hope you guys study hard. In case I forget, I would also like to wish SharBear, RoxBear, KennBear, FredBear, EdiBear, PratBear, VincBear and WoobyBear all the best for their results for the Summer Semester. Exams should be soon.

MinSinBear called surprisingly yesterday night and I think we are to have a reunion for SAM on Thursday if people can make it. See how it goes la.

I think I can drive now. Goodbyes.

|

Five Cs they told you to get.
1. Car
2. Cash
3. Career
4. Credit Card
5. Condominium

Five Cs I got
1. Christ
2. Chums
3. Chocolate
4. Childishness
5. Cuddly Soft Toys

I think I am ahead.

Meanwhile I had the sweetest dream yesterday night. Apparently I was smiling when I woke up. I hope I have many more nights like that.

Looked up lots on further studies and I might just be doing it soon. It is something to keep my mind off other sadder things. And it is also a chance for self improvement. Meanwhile, I have worked for one month already, how time flies. Hopefully, a year will go by quickly too. Basically I just think I need a project to work on. Right now, without anything specific to do in my free time, I feel very useless and restless. So I shall work on myself.

I think it is still weird how I think things are more expensive here simply because it is in Ringgit. Hence, I think I spent more in Aus dollars. But then again, maybe it is because I only spend what I earn right now. In fact, even less, cause I have to budget for things like toll, tax, parking, consumables...there is not much left for luxuries.....none actually....*sob sob sob...it is like making Paris Hilton live THE SIMPLE LIFE....except..it is me. Now I understand how she feels. You go sister !!! If only I were a millionaire too......... :( or at least be married to one. It is quite hard to part with money nowadays. At least, it is hard to part with money for myself. I find myself still buying people birthday presents. Hmph.

|

I dreamt I was rolling around last night. Thankfully it was only a short while, cause at one point I got stuck. I blame JeanBear's ridiculously addictive, evil and lame PS Game....

For the first time in a long while, I did not blog every day, because I was actually too busy. Hmph. Can you believe it ?

I had my first stress-filled frustrating day at work yesterday. Firstly I had tonnes of work, and approvals were going really slowly. Then my senior used my e-mail to mail a client caused hers was down. The client was really angry at the e-mail and then she told him she would take care of it. Meaning he was angry at me. And she did not tell him that she wrote it. So he wrote a nasty e-mail to me. Urgh. And then I had to redraft my documents a few times because noone told me the right format. And then my client was rushing me for them. And then my colleagues asked me to go for lunch with them. But they took a horrible amount of time watching a lion dance of all things. Of all things that I dislike. And they were so engrossed too. ARGHHH. I had a tonne of work waiting sommore in the office and we stood there for 30 minutes. I could not just walk off because that would be rude and detrimental to the rest of my year of relationships right? And then they wanted to change my laptop for a PC but took forever so I was stuck in the rainy traffic jam in KL for two hours. Once out, I got home in 10 minutes. The traffic is ridiculous. Ug.
But I finally got my phone and personal line. So that is one good thing. I also learnt a lot although not in my preferred way.

Met some of my high school mates last night. Not friends cause I do not think I even talked to them much in high school. But there were of course some common friends. And very surprisingly, we got along very well. I am not sure if it is due to the fact that we have not seen each other for very long, or that we are more mature and easy to get along with on the surface, or that we are all nostalgic about school people, or that high school cliques no longer apply, or just that many of us (at home) just do not have that many friends to hang out with any more ? What I do know is I overheard someone tell his girlfriend that I looked like this singer. I was pretty shocked. Although I did take time to prepare for this farewell party for ElaineBear. My contacts were in, I had my blue tinted glasses, my hair was all done up to show off the length, compulsory bling, and some hipper clothes and shoes. Now if only I had lost around 20kg, it would have been PERFECT. But that I regard as something to work on. Call it a work in progress. At my rate of eating, it should go well. Hehe. They also complimented my skin. Again surprise. Because this was not the usual people I hung out with, but everyone was warm and friendly.

And special mention of course to the wonderful fish I had for dinner on Thursday night. And even more specialer mention to JeanBear for the wonderful company. Although I still blame my headache on the rolling game.

Today I will meet the SAM gang for lunch and then off to the airport. So many people are leaving already. Will miss everyone. Looking at EdiBear's photos on the blog of Melbourne, I was very sentimental. Listened to the same song 10 times. And yet I could not get the words, cause I was too busy surfing for Melbourne stuff. Argh. What a waste of time. I have to start studying soon. Ug. Work + Study without the studying life. What could be worse?

|

I want to tell you about

- how I spurted coffee onto my new pink shirt
- why there is no one of your same name working at my bank
- the joke I overheard on the elevator
- how I lost and orange
- the song I heard on the radio
- my weird dream last night
- how I entered a FULL male toilet
- the way everyone was wearing a purple shirt when I wore one
- my tie which had the name of another bank on it
- how I finished the crossword puzzle given in work training first
- someone admiring my photos placed on my cubicle wall
- the new name I thought of for my baby boy when he comes
- the new computer I will be getting at work
- how I knew all the answers to the quiz on the radio
- how I was participating in a huge deal at work
- what I did (a whole lot) at work
- how my shoe lost a stud
- my photocopier at work which staples
- the bird that pooped at the office window
- my theory on why there are traffic jams
- the lion dance at my floor on Friday
- the Egyptian girls promoting the staff dinner
- free champagne and almond cookies at work
- the traffic situation I faced today when I took a new route
- my shattered ambitions
- the song I plan to sing in my internet debut
- the important phone calls I made to clients today and how impressed they were
- EPF application which is a difficult process
- the diamond earrings someone received as a farewell gift
- my new soundcard
- the very dumb but funny comment you made the other day
- the cake crumb underneath my fridge
- how broke I am
- my lunch consisting of 2 buns
- my other lunch consisting of tofu and vegetables
- my Japanese and Korean counterparts at the office
- my unpaid January wages
- the way I pretend to be rich and foreign at the hotel where I park
- how HOT it is in the city
- how the air conditioning broke down and leaked all over the carpets
- my new bolster
- the funny coincidence yesterday night
- the book I am reading in the toilet
- the 2 hours I spent cleaning up on Saturday night (OcD)
- the third McDull movie
- how I am perpetually tired in the mornings without work
- how I got asked to play squash for the bank
- the letter I wrote on Sunday
- how I watched no tv this week
- the huge increment other staff enjoyed
- the car I am going to buy in March
- my cool contact lenses
- JoYo
- why I am staying up late to write this tonight although I am exhausted
- how much I need a hug
- how stupid I am

|

What have I done ?
Was it right ?
Should I undo it ?
Should I apologise ?
Who am I trying to be ?
When will things be alright ?
Will the feeling pass ?
Was it the right thing to do ?
Is it my fault ?
Is there a better way ?

WHAT HAVE I DONE ?

I do not think I know.

All I know is that I feel really rotten right now. Like a depressed asshole.

|

Why it was a bad day.

1. Car would not start
2. A car got into an accident and exploded ten feet away from me.
3. I left my drawer keys at home so could not use the computer.
4. A tonne of work to be done AND looming.
5. Got scolded for doing something not wrong.
6. No coffee to drink.
7. Rain while I was walking to the car.
8. Parked wrong place and paid RM 38.
9. Rain caused super duper ultra mega fantastic jam.
10. Sad.

Why it was not such a bad day. ( This is me trying to be adult and look at things on a brighter side )

1. Used another car.
2. I did not get into an accident and explode.
3. Do less work due to no computer.
4. Have a job and am employed.
5. Learnt how to do things better.
6. No coffee = no sugar intake = less calories.
7. Walked faster. Burnt more calories.
8. Car was shielded from rain.
9. Quality time with myself.
10. Am not dead.

Why work is a lot like school.

1. Wake up at 6 am and brave the jam.
2. People talk like crazy after a long holiday.
3. Compare new handphones.
4. Bring food in boxes to share.
5. Go to lunch together in a bunch.
6. Bunch of silly girls gigging.
7. Bunch of men making dirty jokes.
8. Everyone complains about how hot the weather is and no money.
9. Time in between work to gossip and chat.
10. Lots of homework.

Moral of the story is :

1.Never ever wish you were adult. It just gives you more problems.
2.Life sucks.
3.A hot bath is all you need to fall asleep at night.
4.You do not have to eat when you are busy working.
5.Life does NOT get better.

|

There is nothing left but crumbs on the floor,
The locks are tight upon the door,
The cups are cleaned, the plates are dry,
The lights switch off without a sigh.

A long day has past, the last 12 hours,
Much was done beyond all powers,
But as all good things, this must end,
Only wishing these times will still pend.

As one just stood inside the lonely hall,
Listening to the cuckoo call,
He seems to understand what lacks still,
He looks around, he starts to feel.

The heat still stays, a lengthy prisoner,
The thumbprints await the tardy cleaner,
Cards on the table, a bottle of wine,
All that's left of a night divine.

Pictures were taken, candles were blown,
Everyone else seems to have grown,
Moving on forward, lives of their own planning,
Only myself, the wheel, there is no one manning.

I've told myself, it's the last time,
That not letting go would be just a crime,
Some stolen time, a last quick hug,
Before one lets go without a tug.

I will not choke, I will not cough,
I must move on, I must go forth,
I will grow up, I will be strong,
No longer will I just be strung along.

There is no moral today. Just memories. A flood of happy memories.

|

Rat : This year will see more income from a new source. There will be slight stresses in your social life but you can use your charm to win anyone's heart. Do not break under pressure. Use your intuition and experience to get you through any troubles.

That was one of the many horoscopes for the Rat for the new year. I looked at it and...hmph. Income from new source because I have to work. Stress in social life because have to work. Am pressurised because of work. Have to use intuition and experience to get through trouble at work. LOL. What....I could have told you that. Maybe I have.

I got my contacts yesterday ! Whee ! .. I took 10 minutes to learn to put them on and I put them on in 5 minutes today. The doctor commented that I learnt very fast but I did not tell him that it was because I had wanted contact lenses for like 10 years ~!!~ Now I finally have them and am very happy. Although the world seems to have lost some of its colour. Everything is not as bright but it could just be my imagination. Anyway I ~love~ wearing contacts.

Work was cool today. Firstly because like 80% were not working..I reached my office in 10 minutes...HONEST ! My dad says it is because I drive too fast. But it was because I used a new route. Secondly, I could do ALL the excess reports...by myself and made two calls to customers too. Had a great time wishing them a new year and then telling them what was the problem with their accounts and also listen to them wisely and telling them that they had to put more money in. Thirdly, I only had ONE cup of coffee today although only had about 2 hours sleep since was sneezing all night. So that is an improvement. Fourthly, I spent most of the day doing all my e-learning which are basically internal courses that employees have to take. I finished all 8 of mine which included Fire Safety, Companie Code of Conduct, AIDS awareness, Confidentiality, Reputation Risk, Operating Risk and a whole lot more of kaboodle. It was mainly skimming through loads of reading and then answering multiple choice questions. The total recommended time was like 15 hours...but I finished them in 4. Or less. Bad is it not ? But I passed all the assessments so it should be fine because it means I do know what they mainly talk about. Fifthly, I got a surprise sms from ParkyBear. Lastly, I had great company for lunch as we celebrated KenBear's 20th birthday. By we I mean the Trojans 2006, EugBear and DanBear. Trojans 2006 being the four people living in 3roi at IH this year. Although I took almost 2 hours for lunch, I think this is probably the last time that I can get away with it.

Tomorrow is bowling day ! Hurray. And I got my credit card confirmed and my season parking confirmed. I feel as if I have accomplished a lot today and actually I have ! Am happy. Also, budgeting for me has also started since Feb 1. So I might turn out to be a lot more stingy than I usually am. No money la..........And my o2jam still has problems..phooey

The moral of this story is : ~Contact lenses are cool~ and there are always A+ days in life.

|

Eurgh !!! I left my house with the intention of increasing my RM 28 Angpow collection and ended up with -RM50................ but I had fun and that is what is important right ? (Notice I am still on the 'positive adult thinking' bandwagon)

Started the day off at JengBear's place. Have not seen him for a long time and just by chance he was having a lion dance at his house. It felt really good catching up and talking about what has happened in the past year.

I wonder if this is what happens when really good friends meet up again after a long while without communicating. Because truth be told, I have not really talked to him at all for the past year. Not through e-mail or MSN or anything else and yet the bond is very much there. It was a VERY comforting thought. With so many great friends around the world whom I very much doubt that I can keep in very close contact with, it was a very very very comforting thought.

But what about the hUgZ ?I guess they will just have to wait and be collected as debt later.

The moral of this story is : Never gamble at KaiBear's house (it is really a gambling house designed to make you lose money haha) and that good friends will always be able to talk to each other at any time. And if there is no time, they will make time.

|

Looking on the bright side will always make life happier.

I was just thinking of a lot of negative things you know...including things I never got to eat, or things that I wanted to do but could not do, things that I wanted to buy but did not get around to buy, people that you want to talk to but are not around, people that I wanted to see but had no time to see...things like that.

SO >>> suddenly..

I did what I wanted to do and bought what I wanted to buy the day before yesterday.
I ate what I wanted and got a letter from someone I wanted to talk to yesterday.
And I am going to see someone that I want to see in 2 hours, because they are having open house with lion dance too.

Moral of the story is : If you think of good things happening, they will. Never think of the bad things. This way, not only will you preserve your youth and happiness, you will stay cute too.

Random.

|